New York, New York
by grelber37
Summary: New York, New York occurs in the Marvel Universe of twenty-five years ago. Chapters provide the background information necessary for clarity. Doc Samson is the tale's central protagonist. However, many other heroes appear throughout the chapters of this literary "variety pack." Perhaps, research Null the Living Darkness, the story's "big bad," before reading.
1. Chapter 1: Mayhem's Bugle

Previously: Spider-Man and Cloak & Dagger encountered Blackwing and Blacklash. During the battle, Cloak teleported a missile into the East River. The explosion damaged a hidden holding container near the UN. Later, Captain America and his crew recruited She-Hulk to oppose the Sinister Syndicate guarding the returned body of Baron von Strucker. During the battle, She-Hulk and Rhino battle in the Queens-Midtown Tunnel in the East River. Two events occur. First, an Oscorp tanker exposes She-Hulk to unknown chemicals. Second, the combat wrecks mysterious machinery hidden in the tunnel. This machinery keeps pre-FF monster Taboo in stasis. The UN kept Taboo this way. Freed, Taboo goes on a rampage, and the Fantastic Four opposes him. Also during this battle, Falcon rediscovers Cap. Simon Savage, and She-Hulk rediscovers Lorrie Melton. Both have fallen on hard times. Falcon gets Savage employment at Stark with Ant-Man, Scott Lang. Heroes get Melton help with psychiatrist Peter Spaulding.

Chapter 1: Mayhem's Bugle

Ominously, as winter arrives, Det. Brigid O'Rielly settles at the diningroom table of psychiatrist Peter Spaulding and his wife Jill with their guests patient Lorrie Melton and superheroic friend Machine Man. With Atlantis Attacks mercifully ended, addict Melton has wandered back to her last doctor, Spaulding. He had sent her to Dr. Tyrone—secretly villain Tyrannus—from whom Daredevil and Dr. Strange liberated her (see _Daredevil Annual _#9). Tyrannus had made her a Serpent-Person, and she now has much to analyze with Spaulding. Even before Atlantis Attacks, the woman had much angst to overcome.

For the last few weeks, Det. O'Rielly has likewise sought Dr. Spaulding's help. She assures him that he does much to re-construct her well-being after her recent nightmare times: death, re-awakening as insane Mayhem, dying again, and re-awakening again—but only as again Mayhem. Of course, she mentions nothing of Null the Living Darkness currently possessing her body nor of Null's detaining her soul.

With cold sunlight shimmering in, the five sit at a midday meal. O'Rielly sits beside Melton. The veteran police officer assures the careworn woman, "You can conquer your circumstances. You just need to rediscover your inner strength. You just need to seek the right people. Let me guide you. Dr. Spaulding has led you well so far. But, perhaps, a new psychologist would help you further—one used to exceptional circumstances even more than Peter is. Police sources tell me that the famous Doc Samson has moved to New York. I just know that, if you take your inner demon to Samson, after all he's done for Hulk and others, he can help you find your place again amongst the many forces at play in Manhattan."

Secretly, Mayhem knows that any Serpent-Person, even a suppressed one, is a doorway for Set as O'Rielly is one for Null. Secretly, Null's many eyes spy foreboding events at play around Samson. If Null impossibly fails to conquer humanity, Set will fiendishly avenge him. Melton need only re-summon Set within her. Embracing good O'Rielly, Melton weeps upon her shoulder. Seemingly controlling tears, the policewoman pats the victim's back and suggests that Melton get fresh air with Jill, at whom O'Rielly glances. Surreptitiously caught in Null's mesmerizing gaze, Jill agrees. Machine Man astutely notices the glance. But, he only comments that Det. O'Rielly is so good with people.

The remaining three sit sipping after-lunch coffee. Machine Man takes O'Rielly's hand, "Detective, you are indeed very good with people. But, with a computer brain, I am a rather good people watcher and assessor myself. And, thus, I have some questions about a persuasive gaze and elevated diction and uncommon knowledge that you seem to have. This superheroic sleuth wonders. Since your mysterious resuscitation, how have you been? How is your Mayhem persona? Well, do you have anything to tell me?"

"Yes, Brigid, how are you doing?" Dr. Spaulding takes her other hand, "I do not distrust as Machine Man unfortunately seems to. But, you should discuss any personality change. Do you have something to share?"

Sans warning, Mayhem's talons shoot into metal and fleshy forearms, "Thanks, Doc, I do. And, thanks for the hand. It forestalled Machine Man's plan to shock me with his high voltage touch if I proved dangerous. I guess you two are shocked now."

Stuck, Spaulding screams. The armored knight rises to subdue the hag as her loden vapor manifests. Mayhem pukes forth a jet Null tentacle and wraps Machine Man. He falls back into his chair, and the tentacle detaches holding him bound. Mayhem injects black smoking ichor down her claws into the two beings. They jerk about to free themselves but are soon captured and still.

Null telepathically speaks with many damned voices, "Let Null's death and nothingness flow throughout you. You are not conduits as Mayhem but are still slaves at the end of my tether. My netherblood flows through your bodies and controls you wills. You two will bring the Living Darkness onto the whole world.

Machine Man, my tin toy, you will petition the United Nations to recognize your personhood. The assembly is anxious for pleasantry and a better reputation as Taboo news [see _Strange Tales _#75] yet oozes forth. I inject seeds of humanity's destruction within you. You will carry-out a rampage humiliating the trusting UN. In turn, faith in the UN will wane further. After your acts, you will disappear out of shame until perhaps the future [see _Machine Man _LS]. I fear artificial me and want you removed for my world conquest. Iron and steel resist sorcery. Only briefly may I magically control your metal being.

Spaulding, foolish man, you will husband this plot. You will contact Jericho Drumm, Brother Voodoo, Haiti's UN representative, for a sponsor. You will gather Avengers and Doc Samson to testify on Machine Man's behalf. The rampage will denigrate them too.

You will make sure the weakling Lorrie Melton meets her supposed savior Samson. You will both forget that this conversation occurred."

Mayhem snaps her talons back into her hands, and all seems normal. Except that Machine Man's computer memory seems to lack part of the recent conversation. Except that Spaulding's arm suddenly savagely hurts upon a stained tablecloth. Coffeenerves and coffeestains he guesses.

After visiting Spauldings,Mayhem glides from Queens to Manhattan. She has further nihilistic seeds to sow and Mark Ewing's vigilant psyche in which to sow them. Conspiracy buff Mark Ewing (see _Conspiracy _LS), _Daily Bugle_, shakes Det. O'Rielly's hand. Over months, she has provided the great story of the UN's Taboo cover-up. Police reports on the machinery that She-Hulk and Rhino exposed. Cloak's exclusive interview about the missile in the East River (more Cloak and Dagger interviews promised). Patrolman Dan's report, which Gen. Ross confiscated. Travelogue writer Lewis Conrad's interview about his discovery of Taboo, the creature's subsequent rampages, and the UN's subsequent suppression of Conrad's attempted publications. Tips leading to attempted interviews with Silver Sable, Sandman, She-Hulk, Stingray, Ant-Man, the Fantastic Four, and Sersi. All of whom—to protect others—refuse to talk. Tips leading to federal documents that the U.S. Army insist remain classified.

As Acts of Vengeance begins, O'Rielly and Ewing are nearly ready to publish. This afternoon, the woman sits again at Ewing's _Bugle_ desk. Nearby, photographer Peter Parker eyes her uneasily. She eyes him back ominously. The disguised Spider-Man has two reasons for disquiet. One, the story that he overhears is not one needing telling. The Fantastic Four and many other heroes could get hurt. Two, his Spider Sense flares whenever Mayhem is present. On one hand, the clawed vigilante has always been dangerous, so she might send bad vibes as any dark avenger would. On the other hand, she could be perniciously altered by her resuscitation. Spidey monitors her.

And, she, Null within, likewise spies upon him. From an extra-dimensional vantage, Null knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. After the final interview, Mayhem will kill the pesky Web-Slinger. He is his namesake: a pest minor yet determined and potentially deadly. Along with Peter Parker, she will kill Alan Racine, the visiting French reporter who is secretly mercenary and crimefighter Peregrine. Peregrine infiltrated the _Daily Bugle_ staff after Silver Sable, common employer, asked him after the UN Security Council, employer, asked her.

The fateful day arrives. Alan Racine types at his desk near Glory Grant. Next desk over, Brigid O'Rielly answers Ewing's final questions. Ewing rises to get copy to Robbie Robertson. Suddenly, O'Rielly glares at Racine, "So, M. Racine, have you heard my tale? Does it intrigue you?"

Cocky, he meets her glaring gaze, "Oui, detective, you lay bare the great mystery of the great beast Taboo. You ferret-out missing papers and people. You illuminate shady events. You make the authorities look bad. Surely, sleuth, you are a little Dupin."

O'Rielly's nails extend subtly, "Dupin, Poe's detective. Do you know what else Poe wrote about, Peregrine?"

"So, you know," Peregrine smirks smugly, "You know, I am an educated, well-read, well-taught, scholarly man. I know literature thoroughly. But, please, moi chere, share what you think that you know that I do not know."

O'Rielly's scarlet hair rises and elongates turning slightly green. Racine announces over his shoulder, "Glory, you will want to clear the newsroom. We seem to have an aspiring femme fatale visiting."

Her complexion turned ashen, O'Rielly continues, "Poe wrote of many things: French inspectors unable to see harmful things in plain sight, noble living dead women. . . ." Mayhem levitates. The falcon's eyes narrow. Grant, Robertson, Ewing, Charlie Snow, Jacob Conover, and Betty Brant-Leeds scurry for the exit. Intrepid Ben Urich, Peter Parker, Lance Bannon, and Joy Mercado are elsewhere.

Mayhem continues with many voices, " . . . tortured psyches led by inner demons directing them to macabre violence, dirty and foolish birds quothing nevermore over forgotten lore. I only regret that Peter Parker is away at the moment. But, I know that he will swing-in soon—too late to save you." Black vapor, not Mayhem's typical green gas, blows from her nose and snarling mouth.

"Apparently, M. Parker is more than he appears. Apparently, you are more than Silver Sable's intelligence indicates. Very sneaky," states Racine.

"Figured that out, Closeau?" Mayhem's Stygian vapor is an ebony umbra around her.

"Aw shitsticks, bad news," Kate Cushing pronounces. She and J.J. Jameson have just emerged from their meeting in her office. The city editor and publisher are rattled to find the abandoned newsroom. They are aghast to see the floating specter threatening guest Racine.

"Worry not, madam and chief, I am a master French savate fighter," the disguised Peregrine flies in for a kick. With a dull thud, he bounces innocuously off Dark Mayhem.

Tumbling back over his desk, he seizes a pen and hurls it into Mayhem's dark eye, "Viva la France!"

Tarry protoplasmic matter dripping, Mayhem draws the intruder from her gory socket, "The rooster is France's national symbol, n'est-ce pas?"

"Oui, proudly so," declares Peregrine a bit disconcerted.

Shockingly, the orb regrows itself, "That's you, chicken hawk, all crowing. Null has many eyes, and they are deadly." Eldritch eyebeams blast Racine across the room. Two more stun Cushing and Jameson. "You two will join nothingness this day."

Mayhem glides to Racine who leaps high to deliver a vicious crosskick. The unharmed demoniac seizes his leg, twirls him, and viciously slams him on a desktop. Following through, she hurls him headfirst toward a wall, but his acrobatics turn him bootsfirst preventing critical harm. Her subsequent eyeblast slams him off the wall anyway, "I shall gut you and hang your body like a capon, impotent hero."

Suddenly, Captain Universe crashes through the wall between the newsroom and the outside. "No, you won't, Null," the spangled here releases a spectacular lightburst before the Living Darkness, "You're the one going into the light—or perhaps away from it." Captain Universe uppercuts Mayhem across the room.

Blinded as Mayhem, Racine feels his way back to his desk. A locked briefcase opens, and he changes into Peregrine before likewise blinded Cushing and Jameson.

Blinded Jameson reacts to Captain Universe's crash entry as he usually does Spider-Man, "Damn you! You masked menace! You'll wreck the place!"

"Fear not, ornery good citizen, I shall remedy all," Captain Universe wisecracks while his matter manipulation mends the broken wall of entry, "You're still starry-eyed by my entrance, triple J, but I just fixed your new door."

Recently, Spider-Man has gained Captain Universe's abilities. One ability is heightened environmental awareness even beyond Spider-Man's usual sense. Through this awareness, Peter Parker got bad vibes all the way at Empire State University when O'Rielly changed just now. Captain Universe even identified the true danger: Null hidden within Mayhem. As cosmic Spider-Man, he flew to the rescue. But, familiar with Jameson's habitual Spidey-trashing, he transformed his costume so that Captain Universe gets the inevitable bad press. Captain Universe is a new target for Jameson and a transitory identity who might soon leave Manhattan. Spider-Man must continually live in New York.

Shrieking, Mayhem rises and expands her Null form. From Mayhem's visage, swirling Cimmerian tentacles swell throughout the room. "Back to the depths, jellyfish of Satan,"

Captain Universe's kinetic bolt hammers Mayhem-Null through an exit door and over the main stairwell's railing.

Slinking from sight, her pitch appendages unexpectedly capture Jameson and Cushing still stumbling about half-blind. Mayhem drags them into her seventeen-story drop. Cushing screams plummeting to concrete two hundred feet below. Flailing, Jameson howls, "Let me go! Let me go!"

Promptly, Captain Universe and Peregrine are both there. Captain Universe touches Jameson's tentacle to disintegrate it, "Let you go? But, J.J.J., business isn't that bad."

However, Universe's matter conversion ability has no effect. Concrete swiftly approaches. With unearthly strength, he wrestles Null's limb slightly loose and ascents the publisher toward safety. As an afterthought, a plasma bolt frees Cushing as Peregrine desperately struggles to save her.

Saved Jameson barks, "Get that maniac!"

"Do you mean the one downstairs or here?" disguised Spidey needles as he sets Jameson on stairs, "Holy!" Captain Universe's telescopic vision witnesses Mayhem's impact.

He thought her levitation power would spare her. But, instead, her body fractures, cracks, splits, splats upon the cement. More shockingly, it gruesomely re-constructs itself. The spread black ichor pool re-gathers skull and bone chunks, meat fragments, guts, organs, brains. And, it slurps them back into place. Hair, skin, and teeth stick in bloody skidmarks upon the floor. Sudden Promethean hellfire re-animates the abominable form. And, Null's bride rises. The smoldering, semi-mummified undead thing shambles still broken into the basement pressroom.

Above, Captain Universe informs Peregrine, "Null is not nil. We need to save any pressroom staff in the basement. And, that demon must pay for disturbing departed O'Rielly so. After it!"

"France's champion has no fear of this villain, this wounded bete. I lead the Universe," Peregrine streaks ahead.

"I'll lead," the more powerful hero blurs past.

In the pressroom, Null unloads on the arriving Captain Universe. Eldritch eyebeams and bolts barrage him, skidding him across the floor. Titanic tentacles twist outward, impale presses, hook catwalks, grab belts, and—with calamitous creaking and crunching—yank centutons of steel upon dazed Captain Universe. Mayhem is O'Rielly no longer. Leaden mist pulls away her hair and clothes. Grossly animated, she is bald, nude, skeletal, scarred, wasted, hideous. Her eyesockets loft drifting Null-lava as she hovers above the ground. Hellfire glow emanates from beneath her schismed flesh. Peregrine arrives. Soaring over pressroom girders, he divebombs her. But, Null's snaking arms instantly wrap the raptor.

Peregrine spreadeagled before the demon, Null pronounces, "Let us do augury. Your future holds death and nothingness." Mayhem's very first swipe eviscerates the hero and dumps his insides onto her. "Shut up!" she severs the lower jaw of the shrilling cavalier. Seeing Captain Universe's burialmound stirring, she extends her talons long—and slices Peregrine in twain.

"You witch!" freed Captain Universe's plasma bolt blast through Mayhem.

But, still, she moves. Still, ebony vapor flows from her. Still, Null holds his fleshy ghoulish puppet erect. Despite a gaping chest hole, she gurgles and snarls from her depths, "Fuck you, Cosmic Boy, Star-Spangled Kid!"

"You've got the wrong Universe," the retorts.

"Your Uncle Ben sucks cocks in Hell, Spider-Man," damned voices ejaculate before eyeblasting Captain Universe again.

In a resplendent flash, the hero streaks into Mayhem tackling her to the floor. Pinning her deadly talons, Captain Universe states, "Enhanced cognizance tells me that a demon cannot possess an uninhabitable body. Thus, let the Living Darkness's eyes see the Uni-Power light."

The cosmic guardian catalyzes a conversion throughout Mayhem's rotting flesh. Carbon and water breakdown into purest light and are a stellate flare amidst the sea of black, foul smoke, oblivion, nothingness, despair that is Null's body. Momentarily, Null's form envelops Captain Universe and the hero is surrounded by fallen S'raphhim, endless groaning faces and clawing hands. Defiantly, the hero raises a fist aglow with a threatened plasma onslaught. But, inexplicably, Null withdraws his foul ether back into his home dimension.

From a mid-air portal, he speaks, "Null has other appendages, trifling bug. I shall soon strike you again. Darkness flows eternally and resides in many."

"Which is why humanity always has heroes taking responsibility," cosmic Spider-Man shoots a torrent of webbing as never before seen. It carpets the great demon. It clogs the dimensional doorway. Abruptly, the portal seals.

Alone, Captain Universe touches the metal heap and preternaturally re-assembles the presses. Somberly, he grafts Peregrine together and repairs the warrior's garb. Tragically, he cannot return Peregrine's life. Kissing the Frenchman's cheek, Captain Universe departs.

Later, Spider-Man assembles O'Rielly's friends Cloak, Dagger, Rusty Nales, and Fr. Bowen at Holy Ghost Church. They take the news as well as can be expected. Spider-Man claims that Det. Brigid O'Rielly is now completely at peace. After Spider-Man leaves, Fr. Bowen prays with the mourners. He assures them that Brigid is now perfectly serene. However, privately, Fr. Bowen is troubled. His limited knowledge of demonology tells him that a collective such as Null may still hold O'Rielly's soul hostage despite her physical destruction. This Mayhem could continue.

After Cloak and Dagger, Captain Universe visits Mark Ewing back at the _Bugle_ that night. Alone with Ewing, he tells the investigative reporter that Mayhem, a demon, obviously lied and manipulated. She provided a story meant to hurt good people, superheroes and the UN. Ewing replies that creditable reports have also arisen during the investigation and that proper journalism is impartially executed. Captain Universe states that a few plasma bolts could destroy Ewing's computer, notes, and printouts and censor his report.

"But, I happen to be secretly a champion of the free press," Captain Universe imparts, "Just remember, Ewing, freedom and knowledge are powerful. And, with great power comes great responsibility." The hero phases through a wall and flies away.

Hours later, Robbie Robertson enters the newsroom and requests the expose. Scowling, Ewing grudgingly explains that the best journalism neither uses specious evidence nor burns sources. He states that he must continue gathering information on government cover-ups concerning superheroes and monsters. One day, the big truth will be published.

Elsewhere, in France, Peregrine's closed casket descends the soaring hero into the earth. Peregrine, Alan Racine, will be missed throughout the superheroic and writing communities. Crimefighters and literati encircle his grave: Silver Sable and the Outlaws, Excalibut, Spider-Man, Captain America, Blitzkrieg, St. John Allerdyce (Pyro), Lewis Conrad, Martin Gold (Legion of Night), and Dollar Bill. His death in pitched battle shows his courage to the end, and many in the press plan to write tributes.


	2. Chapter 2: The Lizard King

Chapter 2: The Lizard-King

After Hulkbase's destruction (see _Incredible Hulk _#337), Doc Samson has set-up a psychiatric practice in Rockefeller Center. So far, it has been a successful endeavor. Manhattan provides many overworked yuppies, overwhelmed teenagers, and overwrought neurotics, and Samson gives them routine kind council. Recently, however, a more complex case arrived. Lorrie Melton, referred by colleague Peter Spaulding, has led an offbeat, stressful, traumatic life unsuited to her sensitive psyche: faithful daughter in her father's chauvinistic racing world, faithful Human Torch flame, constant substance abuser, unsuccessful professional, victim in a bizarre car accident, victim in a bizarre demonic plot, friend of an incognito fiend. Tabloids report that O'Rielly was possessed. So, seemingly, Melton is beset by demons. Her angels have been consistently disappointments and monsters: her father, Human Torch, She-Hulk, Tyrannus, Mayhem. Her experiences' cumulative result is that she suffers from paranoia, PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

To relax her, Doc Samson decides one day to place her in conditions more playful than his office, and he takes her to Rockefeller Center's ice rink. The early January sojourn is a limited success. Having a thing for supermen, she skates with Samson and flirts, falling into his big arms often as a little game. But, she does not particularly address her problems.

In the cold daylight, she says, "I don't need to discuss my stress. You would only be judgmental, Dad. As Det. O'Rielly advised, I just need to be strong within like she. Not demonic and dead, mind you. That would be silly. I mean that little Lorrie should be the hero that she has always tried to be. I can meet expectations and circumstances. I just haven't tried hard enough."

Before Samson can reply, the traffic at the Avenue of the Americas and 50th without warning screeches, swerves about, scrambles, and collides, clogging the intersection. Swiftly, Samson rips to the waist and bounds through the frigid air to the emergency. As he approaches, he hears more screams than might be expected. Amongst the cries is the very unexpected "Holy shit! An alligator!" Boldly entering the intersection, Doc Samson finds a six-foot gator slinking from an open manhole behind it. Samson orders the onlookers to stand back; then, he lobs the roaring, thrashing lagarto into a nearby alley dumpster. In one hop, he reaches the dumpster and crimps the roof shut over the deadly beast.

"That handles that. Call the Bronx Zoo," the rescuer announces. As people applaud, Samson notices that Lorrie—slack-jawed and glassy-eyed—has wandered over is staring down the manhole. The doctor cautiously approaches, fearing that she is having a post-traumatic flashback.

Suddenly, she throws her hands up and ejaculates, "You call! Yesss, you call!" Her skins becomes greenish and cracks audibly into scales. A forked tongue flicks from fanged mouth as her eyes glaze yellow and her fingers form talons. Samson moves to capture the re-seized Serpent-Woman, but she quickly dives into the sewers. Samson drops after her. However, by the time he touches down, she has sprinted far away from him. Dark and echo disguise her direction. In the reverberating murky chill, her clothes rip, and her feet splash. And, she resounds enigmatically "You call! You call!" Unsure how to proceed or pursue, Doc Samson returns to the surface to research Lorrie's case further. Effortlessly, Samson springs through the open manhole. He will return in costume soon. Lorrie must not long wander in the sub-freezing sewers. Reptiles are cold-blooded, and so perhaps is poor she.

Back in his office, Doc Samson reviews in his Hulk files Tyrannus, a Hulk foe. Dr. Tyrone, a.k.a Tyrannus, led the short-lived organization Save Our Society, SOS, with Viper, Llyra, and Krang. Within SOS, Tyrannus and his fellow Set-worshiping fanatics created a Serpent-Person army that subsequently returned to its human form. Per _The Daily Bugle_, Dr. Tyrone has since disappeared. Samson knows that Tyrannus's treatment has caused Lorrie's present state. Potentially, the Subterranean madman attacked from underground and recaptured his former minion. Tyrannus must be a suspect in today's events.

Researching further, Doc Samson, a government associate, contacts the National Security Council. Samson remembers a recent incident in Washington, D.C. in which citizens became Serpent-People (see _Captain America_ #344). The NSC's Val Cooper, future X-Factor associate, debriefs the inquirer about Viper's foiled plot to overrun the capital. Cooper discusses this classified incident only because New York must not be similarly threatened. To himself, Samson notes that Viper is an SOS figure, and he hypothesizes—accurately—that she provided Tyrannus with his Serpent-Serum. Perhaps, the master terrorist, not Tyrannus, took Melton. Viper must be a suspect.

Hearing who opposed Viper, Samson calls Captain America on the Avenger's hotline. Cap recognizes his former ally (see _Incredible Hulk _#320-323) and informs him that Viper has been at-large since Atlantis Attacks. Perhaps she has returned. The Shield-Slinger wishes Doc Samson good luck finding Melton and potentially Viper. The Avengers cannot aid the search, for Wizard and Mandarin presently threaten the group (see _Avengers _#313) during these Acts of Vengeance. Before going, Captain America suggests that the "You call!" and a rampaging gator could also possibly indicate the presence of Vermin, a sewer-based villain with animal telepathy. Cap has encountered him three times. Or, the mystery perpetrator could be Lizard, secretly Empire State's Dr. Curt Connors. Captain America met Lizard during the first Secret Wars. Vermin and Lizard must be suspects.

Hanging-up, Samson remembers that the Fantastic Four were in the Battleplanet Secret War. Upon return, their compatriot Hulk reported as much. Doc Samson phones Four Freedoms Plaza; however, Melton friend Human Torch and his teammates—fighting Acts of Vengeance as well—do not answer. Samson decides that they can discuss Melton (with Human Torch), human mutation (with Mr. Fantastic), and Lizard after Lorrie's return.

Next, Doc Samson visits Empire State University. At the university, he asks for Curt Connors. Debbie Whitman, biophysics secretary, tells him that Dr. Connors has not been at work all day nor has his assistant Peter Parker. But, Samson could speak with Dr. Connors's new research partner Armand Martel behind him.

"Armand Martel, ex-Hulkbuster pal," the grinning investigator heartily shakes Martel's hand, "What brings your extraordinary xenobiology skills to New York?"

The biologist smiles, "Probably the same migratory urge that likewise brought you here from New Mexico. I too was ready for new adventures—but in a quieter environment than Hulkbase."

Samson chuckles, "I empathize."

Martel expounds, "After Hulkbuster service, the U.S. government kindly offered me a research grant with former U.S. Army surgeon Curt Connors. You see, the military ever desires super-soldiers. So, we develop a chemical capable of stimulating the reptilian brain, Curt's specialty. We search 'for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have'."

"It seems that I've heard that line before," Doc Samson frowns slightly, "Be careful that you do not create big green monsters, Doctor." Samson ponders certain scientific achievements: Hulk, Abomination, Harpy, Lizard, Serpent-People, Man-Thing—who as Ted Sallis briefly did government super-soldier research at ESU (see _Daredevil _#113).

"We shall be careful, green-haired behemoth," an entering voice surprises both men. Even more startling, the arrival is Curt Connors in quite human form.

"Dr. Connors, I am Dr. Leonard Samson, psychiatrist and superhero," the caller introduces himself, "May we speak privately?"

"I suppose," replies Connors coldly.

The two take leave of Martel. In private, Samson explains that an alligator surfaced in Manhattan, that Lorrie as Serpent-Person then descended, and that sources mentioned Connors's alter-ego. The worried psychiatrist entreats, "I must find Lorrie Melton. What help can you offer?"

"I am not sure," Connors glares coolly, "I was last Lizard during New York's Inferno [see _Amazing Spider-Man_ #313]. However, my inner demon has not possessed me recently—including today. Truly, I have no torn and soiled lab coat to show you."

Samson leans forward, "At any point, have you been contaminated by your experimental chemicals? At any point, has any experimentation occurred between here and Rockefeller Center?"

Connors slightly bears his teeth, "No. I am very careful. A stimulated reptilian brain might muddle the cognition necessary for research. And, easily, streets of affected New Yorkers would be surlier than usual. One would notice their berserk, animalistic, and exceptionally thoughtless behavior. Government supervisor Cynthia Chalmers, a scientist herself, would disapprove."

"Fine. You have apparently a lovely, socially-responsible project here," a tight-jawed Doc Samson returns to a main question, "But, still, where were you today?"

"None of your business," Connors snaps, "If need be, I shall talk with police, but I shall no longer have a vigilante badger me." The suppressed Lizard scurries away.

Doc Samson must leave for the sewers. He may even meet Connors there he suspects. Otherwise, Tyrannus, Viper, Vermin, or some other bad guy.

Doc Samson enters the sewers at Rockefeller Center and searches southward. He suspects that Lizard—if the foe—might doubleback from Empire State University. After an hour, the searcher is thoroughly lost. With time valuable, he fetched no map from city utilities. Disoriented, Samson must find a ladder and go topside to reconnoiter. In his flashlight's beam, he finds a ladder shining with slimy sheen upon its slick metal rungs to the surface. Doc Samson climbs. Suddenly, something powerful pounces from the darkness below and swipes into him. Samson loses his precarious grip and hits the muck. Rising, the hero swings his flashlight—upon filthy, shedding, dead-eyed Serpent-Woman Lorrie. Spitting, she hiss-screams "Sssamson!" But, Samson realizes that she is not behind him as his attacker must be.

Over Samson's shoulder, a crazed, inhuman voice shrieks, "Yesss, dessstroy the human in my sssewer!" A swinging crocodilian tail shatters the entire flashlight and numbs Samson's Herculean arm.

The savage, swift opponent slams Samson against the cement wall, "No lightsss! Only the glow of my eyesss. Look into my eyesss. Become my ssslave and then become my sssussstenance!"

Claws poke Doc Samson's eyelids open as Melton yanks and bites his impenetrable functional arm. This lizard-king leans in, but the darkness still conceals his features—save for basiliskian mesmeric eyes. Abruptly, Samson rolls his eyes back and breaks free blindly. Enraged, he will have this assailment go only so far. His titanic arm whips rabid Lorrie around, off, and away. His Hulk-like hands grasp the sandpaper claws bloodily abrading his eyeballs and sockets. Berserk, Samson crunches them. Blinder than ever, he jabs into the gutturally snarling thing before him. It takes the bonecracking blow without falling. Apparently impervious to pain, the creature smashes its gory fist across Samson's jaw and then wallops a leathery foot into his face. Shrieking, it makes a—flapping—escape. Flapping like wings—or a lab coat.

In the subsequent calm, Lorrie, free of extrinsic control, progressively returns to normal. In the dark, Doc Samson can hear but not see her. He stumbles toward her snorting, shivering breath. Soon, his supportive hands are upon her rough hide. Her skin turns gradually soft and natural beneath his touch. The good doctor wraps his chilled, shocked, swooning charge in a stowed spaceblanket from his vest, and he carries her to the surface near the Empire State Building—midpoint between Rockefeller Center and ESU. A marvel, Doc Samson leaps the city blocks to his office where Melton's extraordinary circumstances can be discreetly handled. Lorrie will continue to be his exceptional patient, now with even more issues, seeds of discord.

"What happened down there?" Samson has gotten his patient spare clothing and some coffee.

"I'm very foggy, tired, cold. I barely remember anything. How did we get here? Where's the ice rink? I feel as though much time has past," Melton whispers determinedly.

"I am sorry that it took a half-day to rescue you," Samson checks her eyes for head trauma and humanity, "Whom were you with? And, do you remember why you followed his call? Your captor seems a dangerous fellow."

"I don't know who he or she is. There was a scent at Rockefeller Center. Then, there were the burning eyes in the sewer. The scent and stare drew me to the pit. I slept there. I need to sleep now."

Samson shakes her gently, "It had a lair? The pit? What occurred there?"

Semi-conscious Melton murmurs, "Don't know what happened. Slept there. Sleep." She slumbers deeply upon the psychiatrist's couch.

Slept in the pit? What does that mean? For an instant, Samson considers the horrible. But, as a medical professional, he quickly regains his head. He contemplates likely suspects. Someone or something—of unknown sex even—called and transformed Melton by telepathic, pheromonal, or other means of reptile control. Mesmerism complemented the creature's other mental manipulation. Perhaps, Lizard might try his animal control in a new way. The creature, furthermore, had a particular speech, tail, claw, and skin. Tyrannus, Viper, and Vermin are not so reptilian. And, this lizard-king inhabited the midpoint between the ice rink and ESU. When escaping, it flapped as though wearing a lab coat. Doc Samson decides. Lizard may well be the kidnapper. And, someone must bring him in immediately. Samson calls Val Cooper at the NSC and presents his evidence against government contractor Curt Connors.

Oddly, she was about to call him in the middle of the night, "Leonard, before you pursue Lizard further, please know about a message from the nuclear research center in Yucca Flats, Nevada. The staff reports that the supposedly deceased Hulk just fought Abomination there. Both lie hurt at the battle site. We feds request that you depart immediately [see _Incredible Hulk _#364-365]. Within the hour, my aide Raven Darkholme will pick you up. I will handle the Empire State concerns."

"I live to serve. Just let me know when I can do so," Samson tells his future X-Factor associate.

A few hours later, Peter Spaulding awakens Lorrie Melton. He explains to confused and careworn Melton that hero Samson had to visit Nevada for some Hulk business. Yes, as Human Torch or Mayhem might. Before leaving, Samson called-in Spaulding and left a note written in a beautiful card. He seems fond of Melton already. Melton reads:

"Dear Lorrie,

Normally, I would never leave someone just back from being a Serpent-Person. I feel terrible, and you have the sincerest apology. However, duty calls in Nevada. Supposedly, Hulk lives. I must help this confused being before he causes trouble for himself or others. He matters to me as immensely as you do. You are extremely special.

Do you like legends? I suspect so. Britain offers one that you might appreciate. In British lore, a character exists named Griselda. She is the constant and doting companion to her beloved. However, she is perpetually beset by cruelty, betrayal, and trials. Her name is synonymous with 'victim,' like Job or Anne Archer (a joke). Your adventures will not become as hers. You will become a champion stronger than any mere endurer or survivor. Have faith. Yours, Leonard Samson."

Elsewhere, Cynthia Chalmers receives an early-morning phonecall. Project: Wideawake associate Val Cooper speaks, "Cynthia, Val here. Would you please visit our man Martel at Empire State University. His friend Doc Samson called and reported two items. One, apparently, Dr. Connors is again monstrous. And two, potentially, Martel and Connors are experimenting on civilians.

I don't especially care if these things are occurring. Martel works in the national interest. But, please keep me fully informed of events. What is Armand doing with the CIA doctor's old project?"


	3. Chapter 3: The Wizard and the Goblin

Chapter 3: The Wizard and the Goblin

After Acts of Vengeance, Doc Samson has returned to New York City early in the spring. He had been staked-out for Hulk in Yucca Flats, Nevada, but his target evaded him (see _Incredible Hulk _#368). Then, he treated Captain Ultra and Dr. Octopus in Poughkeepsie, New York (see _Marvel Comics Presents _#50). After his present engagement, Samson sees Lorrie Melton to finally discuss her Lizard ordeal. And, after that, he checks Empire State University for Lizard news. During Samson's absence, Dr. Peter Spaulding treated Melton, and he reported recently that she does well. During the update, Spaulding presented one other matter, and this matter necessitated Samson's meeting She-Hulk in Central Park today.

According to Spaulding, Machine Man wishes to petition the United Nations for international legal recognition of the robot's personhood, or "humanity." Especially after enduring military hounding, Machine Man desires official declaration of his basic rights as a being. This personhood is something that Leonard Samson could argue. What designates a mind? To what extent is Machine Man neither robotic servant nor tool? What constitutes a unique, sentient personality? What defines legitimate intelligent life? A fascinating and essential question in this universe of marvels. Samson, Spaulding, Avengers, and Machine Man ally Col. Krag all plan to testify on the robot man's behalf.

But, Drs. Samson and Spaulding can only provide medical and psychological testimony. They require help making legal arguments. According to existing law, what is Machine Man's status? And, why should that status change? For legal advice, Doc Samson consults She-Hulk this day near Sheep Meadow. He chose her for three reasons. One, she is Hulk's cousin. Two, the Avenger attorney expertly understands superbeings' circumstances. Three, she has argued before the U.S. Supreme Court (see _Solo Avengers_ #14). Thus, She-Hulk's experience is apt for presenting Machine Man to an august government body.

She-Hulk considers the contest, "Machine Man has the empathy of the superpowered community. Who amongst us has not been labeled a 'monster'? From X-Men to Thing to me, Savage She-Hulk, we all have desired sanction for our good deeds and exceptional abilities without public prejudice."

"Indeed. My gallery of unusual clients and I have often dreamed of a better social environment," Doc Samson half-smiles.

She-Hulk—oddly—wipes her brow, "As you know, I fight the good fight whether in court or in the streets, and I take the impossible struggle willingly. Therefore, arguing this case is my privilege. The precedent will be a mountain of research, but I have a great assistant Louise Mason, former costumed detective Blonde Phantom."

Samson smiles, "Definitely our sub-culture's ally."

She-Hulk stops beside the Columbus statue, "I feel a bit tired, Doc. Let's pause a moment and discuss my cousin Bruce, the Incredible Hulk. He needs always our community's aid in his messy situations. Did you see him?"

"I wish that we had met out in Nevada—customary brawl excepted," Samson looks concerned for both family members, "But, perhaps, I can help you here. Have you had any overly strenuous adventures lately?"

Sweat dripping, She-Hulk laughs, "No, nothing lately. Ran across Krang and Orka on my old stomping grounds L.A. [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#12]. And, before that, this superman-wannabe appropriately dubbed Pseudoman [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#10-11]."

Crack. Unexpectedly, an overhanging tree branch punches She-Hulk in the kisser and splinters itself on her indestructible visage. Equally from the blue, a massive electric bolt arrives and raises Doc Samson's long-haired scalp. Irritated, the gamma-enhanced wonders look up at their assailant.

Hovering, Wingless Wizard curses, "Rat flatulence, neither Plantman's nor my technology worked well at all. I shall have to find other means for delivering this—to use the vernacular—'ass-kicking.'"

She-Hulk groans, "Please tell me that you didn't bring Plantman. The Avengers and I thrashed that weedwacker and you once before [see _Avengers _#231 & 235]."

"Nooo," aloof snobbish Wizard crosses his arms, "I merely stole his device. Today, I brought instead the rest of the Frightful Four. Here comes one member now." Thunderous galloping steps approach.

She-Hulk sighs heavily, "Please tell me that you didn't bring Titania. I trounce her everytime—even on my worst day." Suddenly, the charging attacker appears. She-Hulk gasps.

While Shulkie speaks, Samson springs high, "This threat ends immediately, you hot-aired Lord Helmet." But, surprisingly, he ricochets off Wizard's invisible shield.

The evil genius sneers, "Do you think a master tactician would lack strategy?"

"Aaaah!" Thundra—the surprise foe—rushes lethargic She-Hulk and delivers a wicked right cross before the Avenger can react. Samson falls beside Thundra, and she whips her chain around his leg. Instantly, her sling hurls him through tree trunks, over sidewalks, and into Sheep Meadow where he bounces, tumbles, and rolls to a stop. Thundra, ultimate fighter, dodges She-Hulk's punch and uppercuts her, launching Shulkie's limp form long onto the 65th Street Transverse. Savagely, growling Thundra sprints after her prey and bounds from the Center Drive bridge to the road below.

She-Hulk shakily rise, "Thundra? I thought you were a good guy sorta. Thing always speaks well of you. Why the turn?"

Quick as lightning, Thundra cracks her chain on the wobbly hero's temple, "In a flash, Wizard cleared my head, and he invited me to come vanquish your boyfriend and you. I hate men, so humbling Doc Samson sounded good. From what I hear, he thinks he's so damn smart and strong. But, mostly, I decided you need to learn a lesson. Thundra is the strongest woman there is, now or ever. And, Femizonia's queen needn't tolerate your existence"

"Sister, your id is showing," She-Hulk remembers that Wizard has a mind-controlling id machine.

"Talk all you want. You sound like a whiny, little man," the chain wraps She-Hulk's neck and flips her through the air to the 65th Street tunnel mouth.

Astoundingly, the reeling hero lands on her feet, "You're going to be crying, girl. I just got a big second wind. I don't know how. Regeneration or something. But, truly, I feel mean green." She-Hulk puts up her dukes.

Elsewhere and moments before, Doc Samson brushes-off Sheep Meadow's soil and grass. He taunts approaching Wizard, "Your plans are failing. I'm not even hurt, thumbhead."

"Well, dumbhead, you will be. Do not even try your psychological warfare on me. And, do not even bother removing that dirt. Look," Wizard points to the ground.

Samson looks. Through the lawn, a landslide fast approaches over the basically even ground. The unnatural avalanche kicks-up stones, tosses-over turf, and rumbles the earth. Suddenly, sand arms snake around Samson's boots. Abruptly, a sandstone fist arcs from the gathering granule pile and smashes Samson's breadbasket. Then, five rocky fists attack simultaneously from all directions. They lash and pummel Samson, his legs captured, his arms frenetically blocking. Surging, Sandman envelops the stunned hero to the collar. The assaulting elemental's heavy, thewy, pliable body holds the straining man of might as Wizard descends to gloat.

"I could have Sandman gorily sandblast your ears out," Wizard settles before Samson, "However, you must hear my story. You should learn that I am capable of hurting even a tough guy like you. Let me demonstrate."

Wizard clasps his power glove over the doctor's mouth and nose. Viciously, it concusses a typhoon-intensity air blast into Samson's skull and chest. Unburstable cheeks, lungs, sinuses, and eardrums nearly bloodily blowout.

"Oh," Wizard precociously touches his released fingers to his own lips, "I may have deafened you anyway."

"Can you hear him?" Sandman at Samson's shoulder screams into the hero's aching ear.

Doc Samson murmurs, "I can hear you."

"Splendid. Let me explain what this battle is about," the master villain squints into the captured crimefighter's face, "This event is about credibility. I am one of the most brilliant free thinkers ever. So indicate my devices and plans. Yet, the Fantastic Four and fate have constantly made me a laughingstock. Mr. Fantastic and his sidekicks are assuredly challenging opponents. No one need feel shame after losing to them. And, they have the damnedest luck. For instance, Medusa or Thundra will betray me. Or, recently, a Watcher saved them [see _Fantastic Four _#326-332]—for God's sake!"

"Betrayal is something evil brings upon itself. Besides, as Scripture states, good will always triumph over bad. For God's sake," analyst Samson analyzes Wizard's statements.

The frustrated villain's armed glove glows hotly with threatened shock, "Silence! I am the ideal intellect, not some unfair deity. I have plans to remake the world. But, first, I must settle grudges and regain legitimacy with inferiors. During our Acts of Vengeance conspiracy, such hoodlums as Kingpin, Red Skull, Mandarin, Magneto, and Loki all impudently criticized and jeered me. Even Dr. Doom, Mr. Fantastic's constant whipping-boy, dared belittle me."

Cutting in, a stentorian roar emanates from She-Hulk's location.

Wizard smirks, "She-Hulk will be in bad shape when Thundra is done. Apparently, the id machine fully liberates the barbarian queen.

Anyway, at the Acts' end, I cunningly escaped apprehension [see _West Coast Avengers_ #55]. Back at my base, I assessed the updated situation. Most past Frightfuls were unavailable. Electro, Hydro-Man, Klaw, and Titania were incarcerated in the Vault. Brute was imprisoned far, far away. Llyra was rumored likely dead [see _Fantastic Four Annual _#22]. Medusa was a good id machine candidate. She has an inner villain. But, the gorgon was surrounded by formidable Inhumans.

Serendipitously, the remaining three were in softer hands. Trapster at Ryker's due to Acts overcrowding the Vault. Sandman with Silver Sable and her Outlaws. Thundra ruling Amazons trapped in Femizonia. No one's companions were anyone whom I need fear. So, I snatched the three via nanite teleportation devices injected long ago. Then, I id-ed the two reformed ones, good subjects both. Sandman has an inner thug. Thundra is a berserker and competitive alpha female. I too am quite the psychologist, doctor.

I have initiated my ultimate plan.We shall trounce a reserve Fantastic Four member and her boyfriend. Then, we shall overwhelm the Fantastic Four themselves."

"Only if you gloat them to death" battered Doc Samson's amazing arms cleave free of Sandman and club Wizard's forcefield, "You drone longer than a psychiatrist." The rapped Wizard tumbles across the meadow.

"Stupid move, Spinach-Top," Sandman's blast jets Samson across the way into the Friedsam Carousel with a crash and spray of plaster and metal. The damaged ride slowly drags the dazed hero at its base. During the battle, fearful parents and children already evacuated the attraction.

Sandman and Wizard move-in. Upon Wizard's suggestion, Sandman extends his astonishing arms beneath the massive ride and prepares to overturn it onto Samson. From the blue, with an earth-rumbling landing, a gray monstrous She-Hulk arrives. The giantess, far bigger than normal, emits an ear-splitting roar from a distended face that looks—like Green Goblin in the pupils, brows, and jaw. She-Hulk's whole body is now as burly and gray as her cousin's. Tree-trunk arms and legs are barely covered by her ripped brown and white sweater and blue slacks. Without hesitation, she is upon Sandman. As this conflict begins, Wizard swoops upon Doc Samson and slaps an anti-gravity disk over the mighty man's sternum. Unbelievably, Samson's mighty hands rip the disk and skin and flesh away.

"Most impressive. Your will rivals my own," Wizard touches a shocking glove onto exposed flesh. Hurting Samson falls for the count. The villain snickers over him—until a huge gray hand clops over a purple helmet.

Moments earlier, She-Hulk stands defiant before the 65th Street tunnel. Thundra glares and snarls as her resilient prey now glares and snarls. The women warriors assess each other before engaging. Strangely, She-Hulk's snarl turns to grinning, and her glare's irises shrink a bit.

"So, savage beast, shall I place you on a leash?" Thundra twirls her chain.

The bulging strongwoman heaves angry breath, "She-Hulk will smash you before she is ever caught. She is too smart for dumb Thundra. She-Hulk is the smartest one there is!"

"You seem pretty stupid to me," a voice taunts from the bridge overhead.

With a puff, a compression gun fires a metal ball behind She-Hulk's back. The sphere detonates and spreads a web of sticky, strong adhesive across the tunnel mouth. The web catches She-Hulk's forearms and calves and suspends her before Thundra. Further emulating Spider-Man, Trapster rappels down on a glueline. Webstrands jiggle furiously as growling She-Hulk thrashes ferociously.

"You filthy animal! Bad bitch!" Thundra unmercifully swats the heroine. Oddly, She-Hulk unflinchingly takes the blow—and blushes grayish.

Thundra sees the complexion change, "Are you sick, pup? Dare you tarnish my victory by vomiting on my boots?" Her chain-wrapped knuckles drive into She-Hulk's cheek.

Unbelievably, the graying visage maintains a fearsome glare and turns not from the blow. Violently, the brows arch, and the jaw macabrely stretches to a downward point. Doubling in size, She-Hulk's already giant muscles rip through her shoes, pants legs, sweater midsection, and sleeves.

Worried, Trapster stutters strategy, "A-a-alright, Thundra, finish her off. I think that the madder she gets, the stronger that she's getting. You know, like her rampaging relative. I-i-i didn't expect this."

Abruptly, the ogre's hand, wrapped in torn sleeve, grabs the sticky web and yanks. A piece of bridge jars loose. A small boulder sweeps parabolically, and a four hundred pound tomahawk clunks Trapster unconscious to the asphalt. "Puny human" She-Hulk pronounces. Over Trapster's form, warwhooping Thundra leaps. She plants a tremendous kick on She-Hulk's middle. Unaffected, the gray giantess rips her sleeves and pantlegs free of the web. Her unfettered scream rises to a shrieking guffaw before ominously dropping to a throaty laugh. Angered, Thundra rapidfires four punches to the ribs. But, she cannot silence the chortling she-ape's ridicule.

Happily scowling like a goblin, She-Hulk rockets an explosive jab between Thundra's well-trained guard, "I feel so strong. So awakened! So wild and wicked! I cannot be defeated!"

Thundra drools blood, "You hit like Thor himself. But, I too am invincible, and only I shall champion this day."

The battlecrazed barbarian throws expert and animalistic combinations. But, the gray goblin parries every swing and thrust. Fighting dirty, She-Hulk strikes Thundra hard in the throat.

Seizing strawberry tresses, the monster jerks Thundra into a crushing blow, "You're Can't Fight Barbie compared to me. Let's finish this. Quickly and cruelly, I'm going to knock the ego out of you."

Indomitable, the barbarian queen, an amazing grappler, hipchecks the brute and flips her headfirst into the road. Rising, enraged She-Hulk roars so loud that even Wizard and Samson hear her. Astoundingly, she dodges Thundra's follow-through chainwhip. She could never normally do so. Never so swift before, She-Hulk springs upon her prey. An unchecked left hook cracks Thundra's rib. Then, a right hook to the jaw wobbles Thundra's sturdy knees. A two-handed hammer to the neck takes her legs entirely. Held upright by the tunicfront, Thundra gasps as an unrestrained overhand rings her skull. Her own chain cuts into her waist's superhuman dense flesh where She-Hulk wraps the links. Thundra determines not to wail when She-Hulk tightens the bondage.

"You deserve to be leaped around the city as a trophy," the dominant alpha female's teeth grind, "But, I have other bitch-asses to kick. So, to settle your challenge, I am the strongest one there is, and my id is bigger than yours. Fly away, Blunder Woman, bound in your own lasso."

She-Hulk twirls Thundra into a blur and perfectly hammertosses her. With alarming new capabilities, the victor leaps skyward—and lands thunderously by Wizard and Sandman tormenting Samson. She howls and then attacks Sandman. Her groundstrike quakes his entire fluid being. Savagely swift, she charges into his sandy body—exploding it outward. Flailing spectacular arms, mad She-Hulk swats and sprays Sandman across the sky and into nearby Hecksher Playground and Loeb Fountion.

"Heroes are always too nice to villains. You guys try killing Leonard, and he refuses to get angry. But, Hulks get angry," the gray goblin grins—despite suddenly aching temples.

"You could never be as bad as your cousin," Sandman obstinately reforms, fountain water draining from him.

Contemptuously snorting, She-Hulk plunges her hands into the soil. And, with strength rarely seen, she upheaves tons of terrain onto the earth elemental. Mud infiltrates Sandman's living sand faster than he can decontaminate himself, and Sandman breaks up in the mound that She-Hulk piles. The monster grunts as her chin and muscles decrease slightly. Shocking her, Sandman's reconstituted upper body protrudes out the mound's side. Huffing, She-Hulk's heaves half of a Sandman half Central Park's width into the bird sanctuary pond near Grand Army Plaza.

Losing mass fast, the gray goliath trots up to an unobservant gloating Wizard shocking Doc Samson unconscious. Her yet gigantic hand clops over the mastermind's helmet and squeezes as muffled Wizard screams within. The headpiece fractures. Swiftly shrinking gargantuan hands spin helmless Wizard around to face the Avenger. He watches a teetering She-Hulk return to her normal green, two-meter self.

Wizard raises a crackling power glove to his apparently vulnerable opponent, "The glove still works, madam."

"Oh, how frightful," Shulkie's normal grip fractures the deadly handware, "Wizzie, you can't even defeat me on a sick day."

Her mere slap knocks him silly. Delirious herself, She-Hulk keels forward as punchdrunk Doc Samson crawls to her aid. Police and paramedics move-in after watching the superpowered battle from barricaded sidelines. Rescue personnel summon special help for special circumstances. The Fantastic Four arrive before long. Mr. Fantastic sets to making circumstances right. At Four Freedoms Plaza, he undoes the id machine's effects as he has done in the past. Invisible Woman and he patch Doc Samson, She-Hulk, and Thundra's injuries and assure their hyper-resilient patients that the damage should heal very soon. Soon after this medical attention, Thor arrives with Human Torch who fetched him. Using his hammer Mjolnir, the thunder god returns Thundra transdimensionally to her proper alternate future—much as she dislikes a male's help and hammer. Mightily, Thing brings in Sandman still trapped in a giant ball of pond muck. Mr. Fantastic centrifuges the rogue free and again undoes the id machine. A bit embarrassed, Sandman returns to the Outlaws. His fun over, Wizard returns to the Vault. Trapster, however, escapes apprehension. The tricky thug must have played possum until rampaging She-Hulk left and then arose for his next adventure (see _Web of Spider-Man _#64).

In the Four Freedoms infirmary, Doc Samson can only briefly discuss She-Hulk's incredible transformation, for he must already see Lorrie Melton about her horrific transformation. "I do not wish to discuss much with you or Reed," She-Hulk stands firm, "The occurrence seems suppressed in memory. I barely recall it. As though it belongs to another personality."

"You resembled Green Goblin and Hulk. Supposedly, each had multiple personalities," the counselor places a nurturing hand upon her shoulder, "If you have any further strangeness, please contact me. I have helped your cousin often. Having Hulk, Melton, Machine Man, Captain Ultra, and you as clients would not overload Samson."

She-Hulk strokes his hand, "Thank you. But, as with past alterations, I might have Reed give his assessment and just go from there. We may have simply seen a previously unknown manifestation of my power when greatly angered or threatened."

Dr. Samson still probes, "You felt ill right before the change. What do you make of that?"

The Jade Giantess turns and moves away, "My inner voice tells me that we need not discuss this topic further. The imp on my shoulder says to wish you a good night and to depart."

Late that night, Doc Samson sees Lorrie Melton in his office. An insomniac, she was up anyway. "I'm so glad to see you," Melton trembles, "You deserve my deepest gratitude for saving me earlier this year."

"Always happy to be of service," Samson sips coffee after his long day, "How has Dr. Spaulding been?"

"Always a wonderful man. He has been my doctor for a good while," Melton clears her throat, "However, he does not understand all of the time, and I suspect that he would not understand now. B-b-but, you might. I know you would."

Samson scratches his chin, "What would you like to tell me?"

"I remember more from the pit. The memory came to me in dreams, nightmares. It seems so real—yet surreal," Melton smiles and pauses and pauses before soberly pronouncing, "I'm pregnant."

Doc Samson's jaw drops. She cannot be serious. A Lizard-Baby is a cheesy episode from _V._


	4. Chapter 4: Oneway ticket to midnight

Chapter 4: "One-way ticket to midnight"

Weeks later, Doc Samson does not have time for this. A Lizard-Baby! The psychiatrist superhero cannot accept this conundrum. Perpetually, he has seen the grotesque and exceptional, but this basketcase Melton cannot possibly have a reptilian humanoid within her. Granted, she has missed her menses awhile, and she claims that a home pregnancy test confirms her condition. But, she still could have a hysterical pregnancy or another psychological malady. She must see an OB-GYN—not matter how bizarre the doctor finds her case. Perhaps Reed Richards, used to the fantastic, can take another mutate patient besides She-Hulk. Then again, to Samson's knowledge, She-Hulk has not re-visited Mr. Fantastic whom she acted as though she would shirk. Doc Samson does not have time for all of this.

This Machine Man case is too important. The whole world watches the proceedings—even today's initial hearing. The debate addresses worldshaping questions. Is Machine Man—an artificial lifeform—human? What defines recognized humanity? What defines a being with rights? Can life be created this way? How should the world's societies interact with the marvels within them? The discussion impacts a myriad of rights: animal to abortion to mutant to metahuman to clone to robot. And, the discussion polishes the UN's tarnished reputation after the Taboo incident. The world cheers underdog Machine Man resembling Asimov's endearing protagonist.

Experts will present Machine Man's case along several lines. Doc Samson and Peter Spaulding present psychological assessments. Both have found Machine Man to be analogically human and psychologically complex. Thus, the robot is a sentient being and, arguably, a person. She-Hulk, lawyer, presents Machine Man's legal standing. She has consulted highly esteemed colleagues in international superhuman law: Gabrielle Haller, Magneto's defender (see _Uncanny X-Men _#200); Foggy Nelson, Beyonder's council (see _Daredevil _#223); Anne Marie Hoag, Damage Control's Director of Operations. Previously, Miles Baker represented Machine Man before a U.S. military panel, but the Corporation's Konik killed Baker (see _Machine Man _#9). However, Baker's papers supplement She-Hulk's arguments. Besides the psychological and legal presentations, Henry Pym and Iron Man share their knowledge about artificial lifeforms and the benefits that such beings bring to society. These West Coast Avengers have flown-in after combating Magneto and his children (see _West Coast Avengers _#57). Finally, Wakanda's King T'Challa, a.k.a. Black Panther, and America's Col. Krag act as character witnesses both for Machine Man specifically and intelligent technologies generally.

Overseeing the hearing is the UN Secretary General with his bodyguard Germany's Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg replaces late Peregrine as the UN's primary superpowered agent. Observing the hearing are Lorrie Melton and Armand Martel, both invited by Doc Samson. The psychiatrist wants Melton to see that his activities do not always go haywire. She is safe with him. And, Martel is a close Samson associate and brilliant xenobiologist. Biology does not get more xeno than a robot arguing that he lives. Secretly, Martel observes at other associates' behest as well. Project: Wideawake wants both the hearing, affecting mutant rights, and mutate Melton monitored.

Martel leans into Melton's space, "So, your name is Lorrie. I am Dr. Armand Martel."

Melton shakes Martel's hand, "You're an old ally of Doc Samson. I read about your Hulkbuster activities awhile back. It's always nice to meet an adventurer and a xenobiologist."

"Oh? Exotic lives interest you?" the scientist seems surprised.

Melton reflects, "Well, shoot, I have been a friend to Human Torch, Machine Man, and Doc Samson. And, sometimes, their unusual and exciting lives have included me. So, I guess adventures interest me.

But, I should be careful what I wish for. Recently, I got the strange life that I maybe always wanted. A mad scientist named Tyrannus—an old Hulk foe in fact—metamorphisized me into a monster. I've got an alter ego like a superbeing now. No more vicarious living. I guess I should be friggin' happy."

Seemingly sympathetic, Martel considers her, "Are you the kidnapped person whom Leonard pursued? Three months ago, he visited me about a monster taking a damsel into the sewer."

Painfully smirking, Melton looks into Martel's eyes, "I'm no damsel, and that wasn't Tyrannus. But, I am that person, and you should know that something—odd—occurred during the abduction. Something that Doc Samson—for all of his weird experiences—won't consider. But, a xenobiologist, such as you, might pay attention and listen. May I visit you sometime, doctor?"

Martel pats her knee, "I am honored by your confidence. And, I shall help any way possible. See me at Empire State University soon."

"Well, aren't you friendly, Armand," Jill Spaulding studies the hand on the knee, "Know you, Armand, Ms. Melton plays with a few doctors already."

Mrs. Spaulding and Col. Krag sit-down on either side of Melton and Martel. Spaulding by Melton. Krag by Martel. Behind them operates a small group of press including Ben Urich and Trish Tilby. Directly before the four sits King T'Challa and other UN delegates. Prominent amongst the delegates are the U.S. ambassador, Canada's Madison Jefferies (hero Box), Britain's Alistaire Stuart (Excalibur ally), Russia's Yuri Petrovich (ex-Crimson Dynamo), Atlantis's Madoxx (elder statesman), Genosha's David Moreau (the Genegineer), and Jericho Drumm, Brother Voodoo, of Haiti. Before the delegates, She-Hulk sits beside Machine Man at a table across the way from Doc Samson and Peter Spaulding. They await their chances to testify for the Secretary General. He sits at a dais facing the others, and Blitzkrieg stands guard beside him. Standing at a centralized podium, Dr. Pym and Iron Man jointly champion artificial lifeforms such as fellow Avengers and others.

Hank Pym speaks, "Unfortunately, Vision and the original Human Torch could not join us today. But, I submit them as examples of benevolent artificial beings such as Machine Man. Like them, Machine Man has established himself as a rational, brave, and dependable brother-in-arms for my fellow Avengers. For example, he has closely aided Iron Man, Hulk, and Thing."

"Are you sure that Vision is Machine Man's best character reference? The android has formerly been considered a menace," the dais blithely queries. He knows that the Avengers' address bolsters the UN's reputation.

Iron Man replies, "Sir, the whole world may rest assured that beings such as Vision and Machine Man do humanity infinite good and even save it occasionally. Some, such as the Avengers' Jocasta or the Fantastic Four's Herbie, even make the ultimate sacrifice."

"But, will they always be such saints and martyrs?" Brother Voodoo's voice interrupts. All eyes turn toward him. Machine Man and Peter Spaulding, Mayhem's dinnerguests, especially stare transfixed.

"The Haitian representative will please hold questions until this hearing's end," the chair admonishes.

"No, Secretary, I think that Amb. Drumm raises a prudent concern," Machine Man breaks his gaze with Voodoo, "How can you human meatheads tell that this robot is not a walking timebomb?" Shockingly, the robot's eyes are now burning, big, and orange as they were in the past before alteration (see _Machine Man _#10).

"Well, what big eyes you have," Iron Man uneasily examines Machine Man.

"The better to fix you with, little red helmet," the mocking robot locks upon Iron Man.

Mutant metal manipulator Madison Jefferies squares-up. But, he waits and watches.

"I object. Puny humans always attack purple people. It's not fair to robots, giants, or goblins," She-Hulk sing-songs smiling a suddenly freakishly large grin.

"What big teeth you have, mouthpiece," Doc Samson has seen this goblin grimace before, "Perhaps, we need a timeout so that all parties can gather themselves—a lot."

"Howabout, instead of gathering, I explode instead? 'Call it heavy metal!'" Machine Man's sides burst forth four Doc Ock tentacles, and his wrists crack at hinges making his forearms cannons as his metal mouth crumples into beartrap jaws, "I am a robot revolutionary! I am of the Heavy Metal army! [see _Avengers _#288-290]! Long live Adaptoid! Death to humanity! Upward robots! Upward Ultron!" Dr. Pym startles.

Invoked, flying Ultron crashes through the assembly hall back roof, clips arch-threat Jefferies unconscious, and plows Pym through a splintering hardwood podium. Recovering from surprise, heroes attempt action.

Blitzkrieg seizes the Secretary General and sends an electric tether into an adjacent room. In a lightning flash, Blitzkrieg catapults the official and himself to safety.

Iron Man scans Hank Pym's injured, supine form. Menacing Ultron stands over one mighty Avenger and faces another. Without warning, a missile from Machine Man's armcannon explodes around the distracted golden hero.

Another missile blazes toward King T'Challa. Normally, his enhanced reflexes would let him dodge, but he knows that Krag, Martel, Melton, and Jill Spaulding sit behind him. Fiercely, he rips up the marble tabletop before him. The marble shield blows apart upon explosion. And, bloody, reeling Black Panther drops momentarily.

One Machine Man tentacle cracks Amb. Drumm along the head and knocks him out—seemingly. Another tentacle wraps around the U.S. ambassador's neck and drags him toward the haywire hero. The last two tentacles capture Doc Samson's arms across the aisle—as a whooping Peter Spaulding leaps onto Samson's back. Like Machine Man, Dr. Spaulding is in Null's influence while seemingly under Ultron's mind control instead. Nearby, She-Hulk shudders and sweats as she expands slightly.

Recovering, the good guys and others take action. Col. Krag orders "Everyone out! Now!" Madoxx and Moreau flee. Hero Petrovich carries unconscious Jefferies. Stuart hides with Urich and Tilby observing the brawl. Martel and Melton attempt evacuating vulnerable Black Panther, but Krag heard them away with his body. Jill Spaulding stumbles and dives over seats toward her wild husband. Black Panther flops around semi-conscious.

Unusually aggressive, Doc Samson yanks the tentacles and brings monstrous Machine Man right to him. Uninhibitedly, the gamma-enhanced wonder batters and dents Machine Man's torso. He does bodywork. Jagged steel jaws clamp into Samson's right shoulder. Spaudling ineffectively mimics the tactic on the other shoulder. The strongman's hand clamps the tentacle holding the U.S. ambassador. The gripping hand trembles with effort. Abruptly, the steel appendage crinkles and breaks. From the blue, a static bolt strikes, and Spaulding falls off limply. Blitzkrieg returns. But, he must confront Ultron rather than Machine Man.

A moment previous, Ultron gloats before laid-out Dr. Pym and staggering Iron Man, "Father and I have a family reunion of sorts today—to celebrate his patricide."

Ringing harshly, Iron Man's uppercut catches Ultron's adamantium chin. Iron Man bearhugs the killbot, "You're not staying to visit, sonny. You are easily the worst billion-dollar baby whom I have ever met. Totally unfit."

Innovatively springing anchors, Ultron's feet remain fixed as the Golden Avenger rockets upward, "You are the unfit life, you ersatz automaton. You ape my superior image. Die-out!"

A pointblank concussive blast cracks Iron Man's chestplate and flings him into a marble wall that topples upon him. Blitzkrieg arrives and shocks Spaulding. Ultron turns intrigued toward the scintillating firefly. The insect has his attention.

As metal men battle, She-Hulk snarls in anger and pain as her hand grotesquely stretches across the table before her. Her excruciating giant hand grips the tabletop and shatters it. Sickly gray tints her complexion. And, her expanding muscles tear her outfit designed for her already large frame. Hot-blooded, she rips away her tattered suit jacket. Her shoes and hose snap from her legs. Her blouse and skirt strain, rip at their bottoms, and hold tightly. She stands the same gray goblin terror that she was in Central Park. Rampaging She-Hulk roars and looks about.

Near her, Col. Krag helps the U.S. ambassador to the exit. Nearer She-Hulk, Jill Spaulding frantically tries dancing past battling Doc Samson and Machine Man. On the deck, insensible Peter could be trampled by the two. Suddenly, bloody Black Panther springs forward and drags Dr. Spaulding away just in time. Fireman-carrying the psychiatrist, the king wobbily sprints past Krag. Jill jogs after. Imitating King T'Challa, Stuart and the reporters lowcrawl toward lying Amb. Drumm and Dr. Pym. Sneering maniacally, brutish She-Hulk stomps toward the three rescuers. But, two battles rage before she advances.

Machine Man pulls out all of the stops against his Herculean foe. His loose tentacle garrotes Doc Samson, and his elongating legs lift the hero off the floor. Releasing his bite, Machine Man shoots wires from glowing eyes into open gory teethmarks. Mercilessly, the wires surge sizzling electricity down the titanic right arm. Using a supposedly deactivated ability, the Hot Rod horror discharges his armcannons as dual flamethrowers, and the fires engulf Samson in a white-hot ball. Screaming and flailing, the hanging hero kicks his legs as his upper clothes melt off smoldering skin. His superhuman legs scissorlock around Machine Man's midsection. Straining enormously, the locked legs apply irresistible pressure. Creaking sharply, the metal man's waist crimps to half of its usual diameter. Samson's unwounded left arm resists its restraining tentacle and hooks around the robot's back. Unceremoniously, the champion twists and snaps Machine Man in twain. From their height, split Machine Man and ablaze Samson crash beside Peter Spaulding just as Black Panther pulls him away. Fighting on, blistered Doc Samson directs his crazed foe's flamethrowers upon the strangling garrote. The tentacle melts and falls off. The tentacles around Samson's arms release—only to seize him around the waist. They drag the bisected foe, fluid leaking like blood, to Doc Samson. Machine Man's fists snap back into place.

"You sonavabitch," Machine Man lands an iron right, "I can rebuild myself, but you cannot, human. Surrender or be destroyed."

"Way to reason with me. I appreciate your concern," Samson's rock-solid jabs jackhammer the attached opponent, "And, actually, your repairability allows my uninhibited tactics. Well, plus, I'm in a bad mood and don't have time for this rampage."

Just previously, different iron fists fly. Ultron waves his clenched hand defiantly, "Strike me down, human insect."

"I am Blitzkrieg, Schurke. And, a Blitzkrieg has quick victory," the hero's ball of lightning strikes Ultron's metal frame and furiously flashes about the incalescent robot.

The awesome superheated current pours forth and forth sure to turn Ultron to scoria. However, instead, the mechanical monster spreads his arms wide to welcome the electric deluge. To his shock, Blitzkrieg—normally a controlled conduit of electricity—cannot command and abate his power. Lights and sockets flicker and spark frenetically as voltage shoots in thin blue trails to the hero and then on to the killbot.

Ultron taunts, "Foolish animal! My reserves use the very energy that you feed me. Earth's supreme lifeform will ever adapt to hostile competitors and to all conditions. Robots will ever survive, but you will not."

"Give the junior hero a break. I intend to," Iron Man, risen from the rubble, waves his hand, and the electric arcs dissect, "A little reverse magnetism solves many problems." A magnetic pull dislodges Ultron's boot anchors, and a double-handed repulsor blast blows him back through his entrance hole.

Fatigued, Blitzkrieg holds his head, "I feel so drained—literally. I have no energy. Not even normal human energy."

"Rest a moment amidst the battle. I have Ultron," Iron Man jets to the enemy outside.

"Off with your fleshy heads! Your new king demands it," Ultron threatens UN security surrounding him at the Secretariat Building's fountain, "The fearless man Daredevil recently decapitated me [see _Daredevil _#276]. And, I shall repay humanity a hundredfold."

"Not if we behead you once more," Iron Man's clanging left cross turns Ultron's cranium, "But first, have some freon tablets for health. My health, not yours."

The armored Avenger grabs the maniac machine's lower jaw and then drops freezing chemical down the villain's gullet. Instantaneously, internal and external mechanisms are captured as though in liquid nitrogen. Ultron willfully fights the ice over and in him. The relentless robot's sluggish thrashings crack the icy encasement within and without. Ever nefarious, the semi-paralyzed Ultron fires functioning eye lasers toward Iron Man's damaged chest, but the hero's chestplate unibeam disperses the attack.

The adamantium abomination trudges defiantly forward, "Dr. Doom revived me to kill Daredevil, but I failed. That marvel-knight removed my crown. But, today, I **shall** have my eight pounds of flesh." Ultron raises stiffly ominously humming hands.

In turn, the gold and crimson knight raises glowing gauntlets, "My big, shiny head weighs more than that, dummy. But, you are right that yours is a royal prize."

Ultron's electronic voice almost smiles, "No, not you—and not me."

Before he can ask, Iron Man hears Blitzkrieg behind him. "Though weak, Germany stands-by its Eisenmann!" the squire shouts.

Before Iron Man can react, one tractor beam in Ultron's holds Blitzkrieg's body in-place while the other yanks his dumb Kopf. Blitzkrieg's noble head rip-pops off with a liquidy crack. Its blood speckles Iron Man's reflective visage as the horrid trophy travels before it to Ultron's waiting silver hand.

Reacting, Iron Man rams Ultron's free hand down the robot's fiery throat. Using override, the Avenger's own tractor beam engages as never before. The combined pull vomits forth high trails of supercooled brittled component clumps. Ultron's hissing, steaming heart and guts rain into the fountain and upon the ground. The war toy collapses an internally fractured and wirecut puppet. Bellowing voluminously, Iron Man hurls the dead thing. It glints and clanks as it skips over the dirt.

"Evil android Delphine Courtney died much the same way [see _Alpha Flight _#28]. I made sure of that," Madison Jefferies speaks groggily as Yuri Petrovich, old Iron Man nemesis, carries the Canadian toward the battle, "Courtney helped kill Alpha Flight's Guardian [see _Alpha Flight _#12]. I screwed her up similar to how you screwed up Ultron. It's the best payback tactic when some golem murders a nation's champion."

"Alpha Flight members are losers and cannon fodder," Iron Man flies back to the Assembly Hall battle.

Jefferies addresses the departing back, "Yeah, I suppose that you're not in the mood. Sorry about arriving late. Sorry about your comrade. Kinda sorry in general."

Moments earlier, She-Hulk towers over Stuart, Urich, and Tilby. And, Doc Samson faces the tenacious transformed Machine Man. Addled Blitzkrieg looks on. Bullying, the gray goon swats the rescuers aside, knocking the wind from them.

"You puny humans can't save Pym and Drumm," the snarling ogress drags the injured two to her, "Let me toss them to safety for ya." The monster spins ragged Pym and limp Voodoo by their legs. She aims for the walls.

"Aaaaagh!" injured Pym screams, "Jen, stop! Ultron broke bones! Stop!"

"Yes, desist, bitch," Brother Voodoo—suddenly awake—glares his mesmerizing eyes into the brute's.

"Fly away, Yellowjacket," She-Hulk flings Pym aside and addresses suspended Voodoo, "You, sir, are an evil man who doesn't realize that I am an even eviler person. I am the bigger bitch, runt. Don't try that hypnosis crap on the Gray Goblin. I fuck minds and heads better than you do." A fingerflick boinks Brother Voodoo truly unconscious.

After last exchanging blows, Doc Samson and Machine Man face each other, the raging robot yet attached about Samson's waist. Machine Man punches, but Samson casually deflects the haymaker.

"You are no Hulk, Machine Man. Your attacks are more irritating than harmful. My actions, on the other hand, have left you without a leg to stand on. I can destroy you," Doc Samson quickly flips Machine Man by the tentacles and slams the possessed puppet back and forth cartoonishly. Then, he spins the reeling droid into the robot's own tentacles, and the appendages bind the automaton lying on the floor.

Doc Samson stoops to intimately consult, "Now, Aaron, I must help allies soon. She-Hulk is having personality issues similar to yours today. But, first, please tell your psychiatrist friend why you ruined your big day. You are reclined and relaxed. You should share whatever comes to mind."

"This unit is not Aaron Stack, his humiliating human designation," the being angrily elongates his wrists, and his hands pull futilely on his tight bonds, "Ultron has awakened me within and restored the weapon systems that cyborg traitor Dr. Broadhurst removed. X-51 is no longer suppressed and impotent." Tarry fluid—looking like oil but smelling like brimstone—flows sloppily from his wide eyes.

Doc reasons with the patient, "But, Aaron, I believe that you never had tentacles or a beartrap jaw. Or, demon sewage tears. And, I bet that you used to like Dr. Broadhurst. Something is up."

"Yes, rise of the machines!" infuriated Machine Man cuts his bonds with his old finger laser.

Instantly, the doctor hero jams a fist up the asunder being. He may go from gentle psychiatrist to brutal surgeon, "Don't make me gut you, friend."

Unexpectedly, Machine Man stiffens and has a seeming seizure before Samson takes any crude action. The hammering metallic helm rings on the floor. Then, the demon's device deactivates murmuring "Null remains."

"What remains?" Doc Samson sniffs cynically and then strides to giantess She-Hulk. He does not have time for Machine Man's mystery right now.

Shortly before, She-Hulk lobs inert Brother Voodoo atop Stuart, Urich, and Tilby who evacuate him. As in the past, the Gray Goblin suddenly wipes away sweat and seems confused. Taking advantage, drained Blitzkrieg rushes at her. Between great breasts, he releases the little power that he has regained.

She-Hulk's glare locks upon Blitzkrieg, "Girly Wasp stings harder than you. She-Hulk smash!"

"Does Wasp hit more like this?" an excruciating static blast hits She-Hulk's eyes as dogged Dr. Pym fires his Yellowjacket glove, "You are right, She-Hulk. Yellowjacket can still be a pest."

Blitzkrieg backs away from moaning She-Hulk and backs into returning Black Panther. King T'Challa orders, "Go outside. Help Iron Man. Perhaps, take Ultron's power instead of feeding him. Or, just protect the UN staff as you were hired to do. You have a good head on your shoulders. Use it, and keep it. I fight here."

Recovered and angry, She-Hulk stomps to injured Pym, "Leave She-Hulk alone! Puny insect with puny sting! I will make you the flattest one there is! Because the madder She-Hulk gets—the tireder she gets." Wavering, the towering creature halts above Pym. Dazed, slack-jawed She-Hulk sucks air and sways as her muscles shrink slightly.

Arriving, Black Panther grabs She-Hulk's left arm. Ignoring agonizing chest shrapnel, the master fighter attempts flipping the amazon. Dr. Pym carries a pouch of miniaturized devices at the time of this battle. He tosses an expanding press beneath She-Hulk's feet. The enlarged instrument springs, and Black Panther skillfully slams the giantess.

"Thanks for the assist," Panther dexterously somersaults over the rising She-Hulk's swat.

"Glad to help," Pym examines his pouch contents, "I have some extra-strength sleeping gas if she'll breath it. Batman defeated Hulk that way once [see _DC Special Series _#27]."

"Batman is only a myth," the warrior ferociously jumpkicks a staggering, glassy-eyed She-Hulk, "While I am the living legend Black Panther, embodiment of great Wakanda."

Now only gray-tinged, the nearly normal-sized She-Hulk growls intensely at the martial artist and man-at-arms facing her. However, before further violence, Doc Samson steps between the combatants. "Jen." He softly addresses. She-Hulk is restored. Silently, she looks downward and sits down. Jets roaring, Iron Man breaks the silence. He brings bad news about Blitzkrieg.

Gathering herself, She-Hulk addresses Dr. Pym, "Hank, I am so very sorry. And, I am especially sorry to ask a favor presently. But, do you have Rover with you? Machine Man and I should not be here when authorities and press return. I promise that you can trust me now."

Hank Pym pats her shoulder, "Do not beat yourself up. Because, well, your beatings hurt. And, remember, I have been famously rogue too [see _Avengers _213-230]. And, hell, the Ultron, which I made, probably mind-controlled you the same way Egghead did me. Of course you may have the car." Instantaneously, a flying car appears.

She-Hulk gets in, and Doc Samson packs inactive Machine Man beside her. "The culprit was not Ultron unless he manipulated me in Central Park also," She-Hulk murmurs.

"I know," battered Samson nods, "Radio if Machine Man awakens." The two outlaws fly to the Wakandan embassy where they are sheltered.

Just as Rover departs, UN staff and the media do return, and they bring paramedics with them. Ambulances rush Pym, T'Challa, and Peter Spaulding to Bellevue. There, emergency physicians treat the hardy heroes for fractured ribs and chest lacerations, and psychiatrists assess colleague Spaulding. Another ambulance takes Blitzkrieg solemnly to the NYC morgue. From New York, the German government plans to transport his body home for a public funeral. The Secretary General and U.S. ambassador—grateful for their lives—plan to be there. As do Wakanda's Black Panther, Canada's Box, Russia's Vanguard, Captain Britain, German Nightcrawler, and Contest of Champions acquaintances Ireland's Shamrock and China's Collective Man. Haiti's Brother Voodoo sends condolences through the press, but he claims to have pressing matters in New York.

As casualties depart, Doc Samson and Iron Man attempt assuaging the media and the public. Battleworn Dr. Leonard Samson dons his glasses and looks authoritative and trustworthy, "I have assessed Machine Man extensively over the last few months, and he is very far from a monster. And, as you know, I am a psychiatrist familiar with the most extraordinary cases. Esteemed Avenger She-Hulk likewise deserves all the trust in the world. Please conclude that today's events are anomalies orchestrated by the ruthless, sophisticated Ultron who has often created such chaos for humanity's champions. Free from Ultron's devices, Machine Man and She-Hulk should return to the public's service and trust very soon."

"And, let me add," the Golden Avenger steps forward, "I have consistently campaigned for Machine Man to be voted into the Avengers, an august organization that I helped found. Over several encounters, I have come to admire Machine Man as the greatest of hero worthy of joining the Earth's mightiest heroes. And, as an Avenger, I know Machine Man's history with Ultron and Super-Adaptoid whom he mentioned. Machine Man would never ally himself with the same fiend who killed his love Jocasta [see _Marvel-Two-in-One_ #93]. And, he joined Super-Adaptoid's army only as a double-agent who undermined and outwitted that sinister group.

Machine Man has always dedicated himself to peace and good. His human designer created him as a weapon of war, but his human will and decency proscribed him from pursuing unjustified violence. As Dr. Samson stated, Machine Man will continue being a great friend to humanity in the future."

Unbeknownst presently, Machine Man could help mankind very soon in an epic battle that would qualify the robot knight for Avenger status. Soon, the doomsday device Terminus attacks Earth (see _The Terminus Factor_). But, Machine Man's gallantry and redemption may or may not occur. Doc Samson and Iron Man break from the impromptu press conference as the press push questions.

"Can you confirm that Ultron manipulated your robot buddy?" Ben Urich investigates.

"Why do the Avengers keep rejecting Machine Man's possible membership?" Trish Tilby probes.

"Has She-Hulk become a raging, rampaging beast?" a gaunt, clean-shaven jack inquires.

UN officials also address the media and do damage control. Damage Control comes to get Ultron after UN officials gladly invite the group to take Ultron. The UN does not want the public to think that the organization collects Taboos. Similarly protecting themselves, the Secretary General's people leak to the press that Ultron was probably reactivated by Attuma's rogue Atlanteans who recently invaded the surface world. This fabrication's justifications are twofold. One, Dr. Doom—Ultron's last master—is a UN member. Thus, the UN head wants him protected. Two, the UN recognizes Namor's Atlantis, but it condemns the Atlantis of Attuma. Namor hates Attuma almost as much as surface-dwellers do. So, the Sub-Mariner believes easily that the barbarian reactivated Ultron, and the Avenger states so publicly. No one gets hurt really by the Secretary General's plan. In the shadows, Brother Voodoo appreciates the Ultron investigation's speedy closure.

Elsewhere, other subterfuge and clandestine affairs occur. Dr. Armand Martel reports to Project: Wideawake, "I have survived this day well, and I bring good news. Lorrie Melton plans to visit me, and she brings a xenobiological concern. I shall examine this Serpent-Person. Perhaps, she offers only her exotic anatomy. Perhaps, she bears growing, green opportunity. You see, I increasingly suspect that Connors seeded her in the sewer. If she aborts it, I gain its stem cells. If she births it, I win a mutant specimen that likely develops quick as a lizard. I am not counting my chimeras before they hatch, but any human offering a stable hybridized reptilian genome would prove useful as the CIA doctor theorized. Such a being might contain the means for instant physical healing, suppressed pain response, and utterly efficient cognition and action."

"Well, I'm excited to be alive," Cynthia Chalmers leans across her desk toward Martel, "Project: Wideawake seeks to study and control mutants, and your activities pursue these goals laudably. Certainly, mutate freaks such as Melton also fall within the project's purpose. Dr. Cooper and Director Gyrich should be pleased."

Chalmers shares other news, "In other news, Machine Man should not malfunction again. We have a government associate taking him to another government associate, Dr. Broadhurst. Broadhurst altered the machine previously and got it to behave."

"I heard so today," Martel recalls.

Chalmers continues, "Likewise, yet another government associate retrieves Ultron for safekeeping. And, I doubt that Atlantean sea-monkeys reactivated nuke-nuts. Under the sea, the little mermen husband other threats to America: Namor, U-Man, Orka, and—oh yes—Giganto. But, they have no connection to Ultron. More likely, Americans suffer more UN lies and cover-ups."

Deep within the Pentagon, Henry Peter Gyrich asks Project military liason Gen. Haywerth to secure Machine Man from the Wakandan embassy. Calling New York, Gen. Haywerth orders Col. Krag to oversee the transfer between powers. Haywerth informs Krag that X-51 goes to Dr. Broadhurst and that two Broadhurst aides help the colonel. Krag obeys his commanding officer and negotiates with Black Panther and the UN who gladly accept United States parties handling American problems.

At the embassy, Col. Krag meets a woman simply called Sparrow and a mammoth man dubbed Mammoth. In colossal arms, giant Mammoth carries the litter bearing Krag's wrecked brother-in-arms to a van outfitted with advanced technology to haul the crumpled comrade. The four drive to a secret New York City location where Dr. Broadhurst whisks his patient to surgery and repair. The construct expert looks more cybernetically-altered—more robotic himself—since Krag last saw him. But, the colonel cannot ask questions before the two odd agents shoo him to the van. Hand on the officer's shoulder, Sparros assures Krag that Broadhurst heals Machine Man. And, she informs him that Mammoth and she must rejoin someone named Blackwulf (see _Blackwulf_) who battles Deviants for the United States. The van drops the soldier at the Grand Hyatt, his hotel.

At Damage Control, Col. Michael Rossi meets head foreman Lenny Balinger. Balinger's men load Ultron's coffin onto Rossi's air force helicopter. Before departure, the grizzled overseer shouts warning above the mechanical winds to not unlock the box. By design, human hands need never crack the cryogenic cask containing the cursed, chaotic creation. However, in the ebon sky, a whispered voice visits Rossi. Perhaps it is curiosity within; perhaps it is a demon without. On autopilot, Rossi strokes the keypad lock. And, weeks later, Ultron torments the West Coast Avengers (see _West Coast Avengers _#65-68). Around a year after that, Ultron and an enslaved Rossi fight Blackwulf's band (see _Blackwulf _#3-5).

Presently, Doc Samson does not have time for this. Yet another close acquaintance seeks counsel before he must rush off. Terribly ironically, She-Hulk has some seemingly supernatural identity crisis as Lorrie Melton has. Perhaps, Human Torch's lady friends should stay away from Samson. He might have a hex around him; more offbeat things have happened.

"You know, those around me have some awfully unusual experiences lately. Lorrie Melton, Machine Man, you. Perhaps you need a restraining order, jurist," Samson makes a funny to relax his potential patient.

"I do not think so," She-Hulk speaks from her armchair in her apartment's morning sunlight, "I believe that the people who must stay away are villains. For example, the Frightful Four brought out a hidden side of me. And, they paid appropriately. Still, I might need to restrain myself a bit. I become like my cousin Hulk. Although, you must admit that he consistently does good."

"Your cousin is a very good man," Doc Samson acknowledges, "Albeit, he is also habitually destructive. Recognizing such, he has always sought to calm his inner demon. He realizes that his psyche has dark corners, and he seeks help to expurgate them. Not to be presumptuous, but might I help you unburden your psyche as well?"

Always large in form, sitting She-Hulk squares her shoulders, "I do not need help. She-Hulk does not need anyone. I have not visited Mr. Fantastic as you recommended. To be honest, Doc, I value this recent transmutation. The madder someone gets me, the stronger I get to handle the jerk. She-Hulk's abilities are always a blessing, and I love having them. She-Hulk metes more justice than attorney Jen Walters. And, fearsome She-Hulk is never the victim. I am never the victim."

The psychiatrist scratches his chin, "I see. Well, I now know how the newfound power makes you feel. Although, we should acknowledge that you have stayed in this apartment since yesterday. For some reason, you hide after this ugly transformation."

The Jade Giantess grits a grin, "Now, now, don't call me ugly."

Samson continues, "Even more concerning than your physical alteration is the change in your personality. You seem awfully aggressive and nearly merciless."

"So is Bruce in his gray form," She-Hulk tries staring Doc Samson down, "And, furthermore, I have always been a both brawny and crafty foe. Good Amazons and Wonder Women are. I am secure as the new woman who I am—in whatever form."

After brief silence, Doc Samson speaks, "Let me know if you need any help. For now, happy heroing. I shall see after visiting South Carolina where Freedom Force battled your cousin [see _Incredible Hulk_ #369]. The green gargantuan is a constant vocation for me."

"Take care," She-Hulk pats the man of might's head farewell.


	5. Chapter 5: Remember what the dormouse

Chapter 5: "Remember what the dormouse said"

Holding the microphone, Captain Ultra smirks, "So, Human Torch de-flames and lands smack atop She-Hulk nude-sunbathing. He asks, 'Did I surprise ya?' And, She-Hulk answers, 'Not as much as you surprised your sis Invisible Woman.'"

The crowd gasps and groans. Electric lights buzz languidly over the assembled sweating fanboys at ESU Comic-Con. Event organizer Dollar Bill has invited a superhero for their keynote speaker. He could get no Avengers nor even his former Defender buddies nor even frenemy Madcap (see _Daredevil _#234). So, Captain Ultra addresses the crowd. The comedian-plumber-superhero concludes his speech, "You fanboys and girls can surprise yourselves. You each have a hero within you too. You see, once, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away—well, actually in Chicago—an ultra-extraordinary, extraspecial extraterrestrial psychologist hypnotized me into having any superpower at will. You too can use your imaginations and minds to take amazing fantasy reality. From amazing fantasy, you too can become Superman, or a pseudo-Superman, or a Pseudoman."

A voice interrupts, "Actually, Captain, I know Pseudoman. Pseudoman is a friend of mine. And, Captain, you're no Pseudoman." The crowd gasps and groans.

Pseudoman creator and image consultant Lex Loopner continues, "You more resemble DC's Ultra Boy. Look at your name. Look at your power. Look at your costume."

A heckler begins heckling, "Fool! Fool!"

The plumber-comedian flushes "Now, wait just a golldarn minute. . . ."

"Fool! Fool! Fool! Fool! Fool! You multichromatic melodramatic fool!" chants the heckler.

"Mr. Salinger, I thought that, as an English major, you might enjoy the fictional speaker. But, I guessed wrongly," Dr. Ashley Kafka Empire State University professor and Ravencroft Asylum psychiatrist, leads Eric Salinger—Foolkiller—away from the assembly.

"Wow, man! Captain Ultra. Simply great. Just great. Really good. Okay," clapping Dollar Bill consummates Captain's commentary and takes the stage, "Captain Ultra probably needed to be an action figure just to blow so unceasingly. Does anyone else have comments or questions?"

"Yeah, why does this convention itself blow?" an older audience member ejaculates.

"Aaaah, Prof. Hutton, I'm sure that you'll get plenty of data for your sociological study. These conventions are interesting events, really," Dollar Bill wipes sweat.

"They are ultra-interesting," Ultra places a pacifying gaudy glove upon Bill's back, "I'm here to save the day."

Hutton scratches his temple with his middle finger, "You know, we have Spider-Man on campus about every week. Why couldn't he save your little day?"

"What about Kid Nova?" Caps Cooper, undergrad Nova associate, fires.

"Do you realize that Namorita, Rocket Racer, and maybe even Captain Universe attend this university?" journalist Dr. Charles Laing probes.

"And, Valkyrie, Captain Britain, White Tiger, Mr. Fantastic, Thing, Dr. Doom, Schizoid Man, Nega-Man, Humbug, Lightmaster, and Jackel used to be here," a Bohemian in a demin jacket and Batman shirt offers, "Oh, and, Lunatik used to teach here. I remember because he was Dollar Bill's advisor and because he broke my fucken head [see _Defenders _#56]. Bill had bumpers of beings from whom to choose—or lose."

"Gee, thanks, Ledge," Bill snarls at his longtime pal.

"By the way, Ted Sallis worked here also before becoming Man-Thing," Dr. Laing adds and appropriates silence, "Okay, I am bored too. So, I mention that Doc Samson and Spider-Man once fought AIM and Rhino on that very stage [see _Marvel Team-Up_ #102]."

"Ultra-cool!" Captain Ultra remains ultra-positive, "Doc Samson helped me recently. Together, we overcame my pyrophobia [see _Marvel Comics Presents _#50]."

"What the-?" Hutton huffs, "He didn't give you glossophobia, fear of speaking, instead? I thought Leonard Samson a hero." The professor abandons his ethnographic observation, and the crowd mostly leaves with him.

Dollar Bill yells at their backs, "Don't forget that Forbidden World and NYC Comics [see _She-Hulk _#12] are still selling back issues back there."

"Bill, I'm sure that they would have preferred Stan Lee here to Captain Ultra," Ledge points to Stan Lee sitting beside him.

Aside, Lee mumbles, "For one thing, I would have used fewer superlatives. Forbush-Man is less ridiculous than this zero hero. Nuff said."

Then, audibly, Lee smoozes, "Captain, such an honor to meet you. I had freelancers whip-up versions of your adventures. As you know, Marvel versions differ slightly from your real history. We mighty Marvel masses on Earth-616 must see events differently than the reader outside our comic books who sees omnisciently."

"I have heard of these quantum leaps in perspective," perpetual student Ledge notes, "Very theoretical epistemology. Excelsior!"

"You people are irritating on so many cosmic levels," Lee speaks into his mustache and then back at Ultra, "Anyway, when Dollar Bill—a bigger Barnum than I—arranged this convention and sold Marvel on his amazing friends, we took time to create art. Much for heroes not here. Where's Spider-Man and even Namorita when you truly need them? But, you are here looking like a lifesaver—roll. So, we would love to story conference at Marvel's convention booth—which is the only publisher booth here since DC had a clue, Dark Horse ran for it, and even Archie wasn't such a jughead."

"Sounds ultra-super," smiling, strutting Captain leads the way.

Pennypinching Dollar Bill provides honored Ultra a snackcake and instant coffee as the first visitor arrives. First cartoonist Roger Krass claims to have been through Hell to get here (see _Creatures on the Loose _#11). Captain Ultra tells Krass crassly that he can return there. Despite Doc Samson's recent efforts, brimstone bothers the former pyrophobe. Next arrives old timer Jimmy Rogers. Back in the day, he had a case of the Weirdies (see _Venus _#17), but goddess Venus saved him. Ultra jokes, "If Venus is your fire and desire, you should hit those happy trails again, Rogers." Next, Steve Rogers arrives. But, Captain America is not the captain Captain Ultra seeks. Massive Mark Milton has a handshake like a titan. But—gadzooks—the champion sends Earth-616's Hyperion on his way. Ben Tucker is secretly Solarman. But, he cannot sell a franchise. Feeling enfranchised, Captain Ultra rejects cavalierly all Marvel publicity.

Finally, Adam and Eddie seat themselves. Adam speaks, "Hello, Captain, I am Adam Austin, and this is Eddie Ward. I write. He draws."

"Adam Austin, Griffin Gogol, masked marvel," Captain Ultra acknowledges future Masked Marvel. The captain beckons Ward toward.

"Not so fast, hero," a deadly carrot dart from the peanut gallery grazes Captain Ultra's scalp.

As though on a comic cover, the two creators and one character gawk in unison, "Oh no, it can't be! The most comic threat of all time—and at a comic converntion!"

"And me not a masked marvel—yet!" states Austin.

"Yet?" Gogol gives a strange look.

"You can dream," Ward consoles (see _Young Avengers _#12).

With a thump, she arrives bounding into the conference. Ashy face, garden umbrella gun, tail-coat, big feet boots—rabbit ears upon her head. Like a cracked Catwoman, she handstands. Like a jackass hare, she mulekicks Masked Marvel and sidekick high out of their chairs, through the air, and into nigh comicboxes.

"What giant-sized super-stars," White Rabbit exhibits her literary knowledge, "As for you, Rainbow Brite, my carrot-shooting umbrella should disperse you."

"I'm Captain Ultraaaaah," another head dart interrupts the hero's introduction, "My ultra-indomitable will will overcome these pesky iron-rich vegetables."

"Your threats ring anemic. These carrots are hallucinogenic like mushrooms," the goofy villainess explicates in song, "One dart makes you larger, and one dart makes you small. The veggies that mother gives you don't do anything at allll. But, mine make your mind move looow so that I tell you where to gooo. Go ask Alice. I think she'll knooow." White Rabbit fires a third dart into Captain's forehead.

"Woh, feed my head," the disconcerted defender's will futilely fights the drugs, "When logic and proportion have fallen softly dead, I must ask. How the hell can you be quicker than me ultra-quick Ultra?"

"If you go chasing rabbits, you know you're going to fall. I have now superspeed and kickin' legs—bunny power," Rabbit twitches upturned nose, "In the looking glass, I noticed that frazzling Frog-Man frustrates my every foray [see _Marvel Team-Up _#131 & _Spectacular Spider-Man _#185]. Rabbit eyes have 20/20 hindsight. So, preparing for my nemesis, I drank me some mutating potion and became a human hare in body, not just namesake."

A swing and a miss from the reeling hero, "You seem an ass to me. Besides, the tortoise won the race. So jabber and walky about that."

White Rabbit snapkicks Captain's chin and grazes another dart across his scalp, "I'll take your word about the turtle and my waxing. But, presently, I'm late; I'm late on this very important date—the Afternoon of the Lepus." Rabbit's whipping watchchain wraps round Ultra's neck, and her umbrella trips him. The warrior faceplants.

Determinedly, he rises—though his multicolored body flows groundward like lava, "I reeeally am a colorist's nightmarrre."

Suddenly, a stout shadow falls over flashy Ultra. Then, an odobenid, heavy body falls atop him, "Hello. I used to be the Walrus. But now, I'm the Dormouse 'cause the wabbit put a dart in my head. Remember what the Dormouse said. Feed your head." A super-strong paw smashes Captain Ultra's mug into the floor.

Tripping Captain Ultra breathes, "Willpower providezzz my ultra-powerrrs. My head'zzz gottaaa grasp, spear, create realityyy." He sees Ward's portfolio spilled upon the floor.

Abruptly, Captain's pate pops a flailing, feeling, caterpillarian appendage. This thing from beyond, this Palladian probing progeny, projects from the dart headwound into the adjacent artwork. The phallic phantasmic phenomenon phases into the facing imaginary world. And, the men on the storyboard tell Ultra where to go. The solid cardboards splash over his cranium as though they were wet clay, and they wash down his body, removing all color. He stands as a three-dimensional penciling before everyone as he painfully thrashes amidst haywire sketched lines supernaturally whirling about him.

"Aha. Take on me, will you?" White Rabbit Cheshire-grins observing the animatic. Now a graphite dust devil, Captain Ultra swirls into oblivion. Or, upon examination, into the storyboards themselves as if he were drawn there.

"See!" Jimmy Rogers exclaims, "I told everyone that transpanel transport can occur! Now, the only problem is bringing him back to the present! Uffff!"

"Shut up," the fat mouse socks geezer gut, "That isn't the film title; I don't think."

"You are Deedle Stupid. McFly, are you in there?" White Rabbit biffs Dormouse's noggin with her umbrella, "I would say 'off with your head.' But, you would be only more brainless. Help the new Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit Gang rob this kitsch depository. I await frenetic Frog-Man fatefully. He always, always, always, always, always ruins my fun. But, I shan't be a dumb bunny now that I have my legs."

Through the comic collections, a ruckus approaches. Shellshocked Austin gasps. "Everybody was kung-fu fighting," sings twirling violence in a tophat. Hands cleft plywood tables, and feet punt aluminum chairs. Whirling eyes top goofy grin, "Welcome to Mad-hattan!"

Woozy Ward whimpers, "We're in a Marvel black and white."

However, as one incident rages elsewhere, Captain Ultra looks somewhere inwhere. In his head. In these storyboards. Somewhere that is a new everywhere. He stands. And, a flying Dodge drops from the sky. But—with a flying dodge—Ultra dodges it. And, the 1959 Dodge flies away. From nowhere, a leaping gremlin lands upon Ultra's blue back. No. Not his back. She-Hulk's green one. She-Hulk stands in the Church of the Anomaly, imp upon her back, as Weezy (how does one know her phantom name?) gazes on speaking in swift gibberish. Ever gallant, Captain Ultra gropes forward to grasp matters not only mentally but also physically. Shockingly, the entire view rattles like a poster. And, words swivel through the air announcing the Cosmic Squish—prologue "The Village of the Darned." Ever gallant, the superman flies forward to aid She-Hulk versus this delineated loony town. However, he splashes into multicolored inky air and careens past future events and events and events blurrily until. . . . . Suddenly, something—some reality—painfully smacks him in the face. A bizarre Punisher—paddle-wielding and knee-padded—propels backward the perplexed paladin passing him. Backhanded, Ultra passes the future passed to the present where he bounces off the flying car's hood—thus dropping it in the first place. Plummeting, Captain Ultra plumbs through the past. He passes himself when first arrived on this plane, and he shatters through the ground as though it were glass. He passes She-Hulk wrestling Orka underwater. He plunges from water sky into open air onto firmament and meets the madness of Madcap combating She-Hulk. Xemnu, Dr. Bong, Stilt-Man contesting Shulkie. Abruptly, sleighbells pealing viciously, Santa Claus drives a team of leaping Toad Men led by White Rabbit. Griffin Gogol gets run over by these reindeer; then, Santa lashes his whip about the amazing Ultra's waist. Emulating Green Goblin, the jolly elf drags the vulnerable hero airborne. Abruptly, long, mottled gray-blonde hair lashes around Ultra's trailing legs. Grotesquely, his legs stretch groundward as Santa draws him skyward. "A plotline, a plotliiine" Weezi wheezes as—like Inhuman Medusa—she elongates her locks and—like a metafictional blonde phantom—strides into other scapes. "Headtrip! Carnival!" she shouts taking Ultra's green boots to Headmen and the Circus of Crime in the past. "Ho, ho, holy shit!" Santa delivers a stretched armstrong to an LA Walters family Christmas in the future. Loosey in the sky, Captain Ultra smears into a blur. And then, he snaps back into a rubbery human mass.

Captain Ultra is back at the Cosmic Squish, but later. "We were somewhere around Limbo when the drugs began to take hold," Captain recalls gonzo texts for sanity, "That's a duckman." In the Bratverse, Howard the Duck stands before a shadowy giant.

The giant is She-Hulk stepping forth. Besides an incredible increase, she seems ashily sick, or savagely enraged, or something. Inexplicably (everything is mysterious here), the world split-screens like TV. On the left, growling She-Hulk in a brown and white sweater swells to a gray beast in the dimension's darkness. On the right, she hangs—wearing the same—tormented before Thundra and Trapster while a subtitle appears indicating a recent April date. She growls and swells. Rapidly, the two monstrous images flicker and blur like unsprocketed movies and overlap within the UN of Earth-616, labeled by subtitle.

Then, instantly, the actual abomination stands manifest towering over Ultra. Captain closes his eyes, "Concentrate. Use your mind to control your demons. Rabbit's drugs and your willpower must have created a pocket dimension. There is no bugbear."

Promptly, the ogress's face distorts. And, her gaping goblin mouth bites off the captain's head and then spits it like a kernel. The disembodied living head plops into a purple glove. With her other hand, She-Hulk in a Green Goblin costume threatens with a pumpkin bomb—bearing famous attorney Jen Walters's visage. Before Ultra's eyes, the bogeywoman dissipates, and the hero views himself viewing himself. He views himself as a living bauble's head viewing himself as a coxcombed, greasepainted jester holding his own little, confused bauble.

From nowhere, female hands—large green and smaller pink—grab his main noodle. In his face, Shulkie and Walters—their face split-screened to show the human woman and the raging beast within—babble brooklessly, "Headmen in a circus; that's a crime. Bong! Gong-gone; it's so wrong. Green Goblin is here, but not yet. Now, I'm here getting squished, and so are you. Black Hole! My goddess, it's full of star truck. Odd to see; set you free."

Cartoonishly, Jen-Hulk slams Captain Ultra into her split-screen seam between her cleavage. Gooey-liquefied, Ultra's body diffuses in a boiling fluid darkness. Contracting his limbs only flows them away. Tensing only disperses his flesh further. Breathing itself detaches pulpous torso bit by bit. He sprawls and sunders. From behind, violent bubbles percolate through him and push the eyes from his face bobbing them upward. His eyes approach a lone simmering window of light.

As the orbs approach, the captain sees a great beast from the past. Imps sneak upon She-Hulk wearing her casual Savage white. The torn gown has maroon number sixty-five upon it, and a poltergeist is present. She examines art at the Met. Ultra examines the scene. He sees . . . the boyscout mustn't discuss what he sees. Bad boy. Shock, shock, shock. What occurs? Altered state.

Captain Ultra re-opens his lids. He is in altered states, somewhat _Altered States_. She-Hulk lies prone before him. She is reptilian. She is a huge monitor lizard monitoring with stony, swarthy, saurian sight. Green, rough, raw, scaly skin sloughed off spines sprung in wild transformation. Coarse tongue tasting the gusting wind electric. In a flash, she is someone named Lorrie still shapely shifting sinuously on swirling sand. In a flash, she is Carla Denti, Captain Ultra's luscious Lois Lane (see _Marvel Comics Presents _#50) ogling herpet animalistically. In a blink, She-Hulk is herself. The wind blows, shucking shedding dry granules of lizard monster. She is the Amazonian altered human huge across the sand. Yet, the wind blows. And, grain-by-glowing-grain, her greenness and grayness lift, erode, shoot, strew, drift away. She looks first skinned and exposed, but she then looks just pink-skinned and small. Jen Walters's shocked gaze meets Cap Ultra's sandblasted goggles scoured open. In plain sight, he see the way out.

Follow the wind. Use his imagination. Use the source of his powers. Imagine the wind purging the Rabbit toxin from wholesome hero. Cleansing, eroding winds capture contaminated atoms and carry them away. Fluid, flowing air flushes through Captain Ultra's head and blows his mind. The brainstorm drains the bad stuff. Drained, Ultra falls forward through grimy-glossed graphite gossamer and out the storyboards.

"I feel crappy," the plumber-hero wipes gunk from his visage.

Around, fanboys frantically and heroically re-organize scattered comic books, boxes, posters, figures, and all manner memorabilia. Appalled at the carnage, they clean desperately coffee, soda, junk food, garbage, splintered tables, busted lights, and dust from treasured collectibles. Harried Dollar Bill is Chicken Little bobbing about after the sky's fall.

He squawks, "Don't steal anything! Be good, guys! Oh, what a mess! What a mess!"

Standing composed amidst the flotsam and jetsam are two victorious New Warriors new to the scene. Namorita's sooty, sweaty bare foot stands triumphantly planted upon Walrus-Mouse's face as he mildly struggles to breath and to move his bruised carcass. White Rabbit is floppy in Kid Nova's strong arms.

"Get your paws off me," she murmurs overbite slackjawed and long ear slightly bent.

"So that you can futilely fire darts off my hard helmet again? No thanks," Nova chides, "We heard what happened to soft-headed Captain Ultra. You're not pulling more tricks from your hat, silly rabbit."

"But, tricks are for Kid Novas. Speaking of which, is that a wand in your pocket? Or. . . . ." Jessica Rabbit rubs her bunnyrump against her robin captor who giggles and loosens, "Run, Rabbit." She leaps forward free, but only to meet an ultra-slap knocking her still sillier.

"It's okay, son," the captain addresses the youth, "Sometimes, you just feel like you'll novaburst. But, mind over matter, I was here to save the day."

Namorita clears her gills, "Actually, we were. Caps Cooper and Bernie Dillon ran to get us. We New Warriors have a distinguished career so far [see _Thor _#411], and we handled these clowns easily. Only one joker and Rabbit's gang got away. But, a squirrelly-nut squad—including our buddy Speedball—went after them."

Beneath Namorita, Mouse squeaks vibrations through her highness's foot. Digging toes into face, she asks, "Gee Tennessee, what did you say?"

Reeling White Rabbit maunders exposition, "He said 'Mad Hatter.' To complement Mouse, I hired cheesy Bob Diamond—from 70s kung-fu cinema—as a hatter mad as a hare. Oh, and, I brought my gang too. To fight Frog-Man. At least Frog-Man showed. But, I never got to fight him . . . uuhhhh." Mercifully (for her listeners), the rambling rabbit finally passes out.

"Which way did they go? Which way did they go?" Captain Ultra cocks his kooky head, "Great Scott! My ultra-hearing detects the battle yet raging. Up, up and away!" He soars through the roof and rains more debris upon the hall below.

Slapping his scalp, Ultra aches, "Ouch. What a numbskull. I should have ultra-phased. The drugs must still have some effect. I must still be flying. Must . . . fight . . . drugs . . . although . . . speaking staccato . . . is no help.

Wait. Down on the ground. A job for Captain Ultra. Brave citizens, never fear! Captain Uuuuultra is here!"

Outside the Coffee Bean, Ledge, Stan Lee, and Lee's champion Forbush-Man face three rabbity thugs. "This is insane. Long ago, Lunatik lewdly, leisurely lambasted me lousy outside this place," Ledge laments, "Where's a Defender when you need one?"

"Well, Captain Ultra auditioned for the Defenders once," Lee shrugs (see _Defenders _#62-64).

Outside the coffeehouse stand three ESU intellectuals. Mugging mugs, the three contribute their two cents to the mugging. "This is New York, baby. You do what ya gotta do to survive," former ESU quarterback Brad Davis (see _Amazing Spider-Man _#188) tosses-out.

"Violence is not the answer. That this man again faces this unjust situation only proves that violence begets violence," latte-sipping philosopher Lillian Hsu tut-tuts (see _Marvel Comics Presents _#127).

"Yet. Should we not help? In theory? In practice even? What is responsibility?" Spidey pal Roger Hochberg nibbles a ten-dollar pastry.

"I can't believe that Irving Forbush and I fought the Huns for you," Stan Lee criticizes the Young Turks, "Fortunately, old soldier Captain America has taught me a few moves over the years. So, I don't need you. Excelsior!" Lee's slow haymaker misses baldly and badly, and his threatening thug grabs him by the tie.

From the blue, a spider—a cooking pot—clangs the hood's noggin. Forbush Man replaces his hardware helm as another attacker approaches. But, a custodian's slippery soap beneath boots makes for a slippery slope. And, inevitably, the criminal—flailing for footing—falls fanny-flat. Flummoxed, both rabbit ruffians rise gnashing their incisors. The third bunny-bully strides forth.

"Good thing that I was on janitor duty today, Stan. I can clean-up theses scuzzes. I can mop the sidewalk with 'em," a p., PJed Forbush Man puts up his dukes.

But, in a flash (before Forbush punches), a huge multi-colored "POW" psychedelically appears. A tipsy Captain Ultra has landed. No, wait. She-Hulk's pal Nosferatu has landed. But, her dark night costume is unexpectedly rainbow-patterned. And, surprisingly, she sings while slugging "Nosferatuuuuu, Nosferatuuuuu, neah, neah, neah, neah." From some imagination, phantom theme music accompanies her, and sound effects literally appear in midair. SOCK! WHAMMO! BOINK! Then, Captain Ultra, dork knight, returns before amazed eyes.

The polychromatic paladin faces his three fans, "Well, that was a 60s trip. Apparently, drugs really can make you grow breasts." The hero flies skyward.

"I'm glad that he's our camp," Lee states.

Traveling up Bowery Avenue, drugged Diamond combats three fourth-stringers: Squirrel Girl, Speedball, and Frog-Man. Battle has shredded his reefer jacket. But, his Mad Hatter tophat remains intact. "Ah!" he shouts. His iron fist snaps Squirrelly's giant incisors. "Yaaah!" His palmstrike knocks the diminutive, ridiculous rodent through the air. She flops like a dead tree-rat upon the pavement.

"Golly," Squirrel Girl gurgles mouthblood, "Those toothers will grow back. But, maybe the other Ditko character better fight you." She hibernates.

Like a superball, Speedball ricochets back-and-forth above Cooper Square, off brick on one side and then off brick on the other. The forever-neophyte hero swipes at Mad Hatter haplessly, however. The master's hands merely bounce the toy soldier like a human handball. Meanwhile, his feet flog Frog-Man. Fruitlessly, Frog-Man attempts leaping upward only for Hatter's kicks to skid him backward. The clumsy sparring partner tries again to leap above Mad Hatter Diamond. But, the master just steps on the boy's flipper and adeptly backhands him sideways. Redirected, the poor froggy smashes his head into a cement façade. Then, Diamond judo-flips a returning Speedball into Frog-Man's back and smashes Frog-Man into the façade again. The madman somersaults and backflips up the sidewalk. Landing, he assumes a fighting stance and faces three foes: Frog-Man staggering forward on buckling froglegs, newly-arrived Captain Ultra staggering ahead deliriously, and Speedball who has hugged lamppost and gingerly stepped on earth.

Leap-Frog's eldest son hop-frogs over Diamond to the right, to the left, and to the right again. Mad Hatter stands shifty-eyed but still. As the leaper lands again, dazzling Diamond suddenly scoops the amphibian adventurer into an expanding trick hat that pulls all the way up Frog-Man's bodylength. White Rabbit designed well for her nemesis.

Mad Hatter pulls the capturing sheath down to the hero's elbows, "How do you like your new pad, toadstool. Or, maybe, I should call you simply stool. 'Cause you're sure shit out of luck. Haaaah!" Rapid-fire fists beat the crap out of Frog-Man chest and imprint knuckles into his foam costume. He takes a brutal beating, his rubber cover an inadequate prophylactic.

"Owey, owey, owey," the aspiring avenger actualizes.

Diamond yanks the sheath up under Frog-Man's chin, "Don't ever lead your New Zoo Crew against me again, Freddy." A jab precisely enters the frog's mouthpiece and cruelly kisses the prince within.

Stepping over flopping Frog-Man, Speedball circles in a tackling stance. Diamond's fingers signal to come on, "Speedball, you're on drugs. Why don't you get high and get fucked."

The hero's bouncing boot hits the sidewalk, and he bounds at the brawler. But, Hatter ducks and snatches the young man in midair by his . . . passing part. The evil agent places hacking, drooling Speedball on the pavement.

"You went high, and you got fucked," Mad Hatter taunts, "I seem to have caught a Speedball, or two. Nuts to you."

The snappy Hatter whips-off his ripped reefer and wraps-up Speedball. The villain spins the drooling boy every which way; then, he throws the padded bouncer gracefully through a passing cab's window. The vehicle speeds Speedball away uptown.

Squared Captain Ultra strides forth, "Very rough, Diamond. You fight dirty. You talk dirty. In Chicago, we have Midwestern manners and propriety. Chicago's champion will show you." The All-American shakes his claw. Claw?

"Well, Windy City windbag, I don't see you exhibiting good etiquette. You do have a nice form though," Hatter's sidekick smacks unclad skin.

Naked slim feet appear before Ultra's eyes, and his bare back scrapes cement. And, his breasts embarrassingly jiggle a bit. What? Slim exposed feet? Slim clawed hands? Other features? Not again!

"I'm Cat, the former Chicago superheroine. I'm a woman!" Captain feels his Cat mask and long hair, "And, I'm wearing but a bikini like she did [see _Giant-Size Creatures _#1]. Eek, the Cat!"

The scantily-clad, blushing beauty tries desperately to tear the hatcloth covering Frog-Man. Finally, she just fetches filthy cardboard from a trashbasket and covers her can. Exhibiting non-Cat powers, she soars skyward streaking.

"Hmph. White Rabbit got her disappearing Cheshire Cat afterall," buzzing Bob babbles, "We had discussed transforming someone at HQ when she fed me those carrots or mushrooms or whatever turned my mind to mush. Drugs sure do make you hungry."

Mad Hatter spies a Slappy's Deli (see _World War Hulk: Front Line _#3) where 4th Avenue meets Union Square. As he approaches, dining Marvel staffers re-flee the threat whom they just fled. Woozy and spent, disheveled Diamond orders a hero for "a hero who plastered two hot dogs, handled a real meatball, and bowled a true ham."

From behind, an announcer voice announces, "Oh but, I'm a cured ham. Now, I'm just ham-fisted." Ultra's rabbit-punch hammers Hatter snout through sneezeguard. Horrified Slappy's staff behold hemorrhage upon hamburger.

"Hmm, I hit him hard—from behind. Maybe, I'm not completely cured," the varicolored valiant voices, "Still, I imagined that I was." Diamond drops, having gotten a knuckle sandwich at Slappy's.

Later, Bob Diamond gets the bunny off his back. Dr. Ashley Kafka, ESU professor and Ravencroft psychiatrist, detoxes him. Walrus-Mouse and White Rabbit too. They lose any recently-acquired abilities. White Rabbit goes from strong harefoot back to simple harebrain. Go ask her. From ten feet tall to just small.

Still later, on the astral plane, Captain Ultra proclaims across a tabletop, "This is very serious business. This monkey business."

Blonde Phantom sips coffee casually in a dinerbooth suspended amidst nothingness. Weezi speaks, "You saw ghostly apes in your vision, and this phantasmic trio seemed sure real. So, you summoned me with ultra-telepathy, a surhuman power. Well, I shall inform you that the Cosmic Squish storyarc actually is unfolding. You saw a literal, as written, reality. But, I shall inform also—as a postmodern metafictional character—that envisioning and composing reality is tricky stuff."

"Are you saying that the storyboards' reality is merely ultra-chimerical?" Captain queries.

Weezi answers, "In Earth-616, our universe, Marvel Comics get stories only approximately correct. So, those storyboards contained some truth, but it is ultimately an altered truth. I doubt that the darker elements seen will come to pass. Generally, a code keeps such events from manifesting."

"I hope so. A wayward imagination can cause trouble. I learned as much today," Captain Ultra strums his breast.

Blonde Phantom explains her best, "In our adventures, She-Hulk's imagination does not generate chaos. The fancies of Mysterio, Madcap, me, or the writers do. Jen is the stable psyche with a non-rampaging mind. Well, okay, until the recent Central Park and United Nations brawls."

The gaudy gladiator mauls a matchbook, "Maybe I am just neurotic. Maybe part of me yet fears getting burned. But, I would like to visit her tonight. To warn her. Which doorway on this astral plane leads to her dreams?"

"Let the jester into my lady's chambers, eh?" Blonde Phantom morphs to matronly Weezi, "No. I shall not have anyone monkeying with her as SHIELD once did. See Marvel's very graphic novel. Besides, she has been moody and distant lately for her troubles. Like her cousin Bruce, there seems now a massive locked door within her psyche. I rarely invade her thoughts anyway. I visit them directly only if the appearance creates a light mood and funny situation."

"Comic relief. I've been there. And at a comic convention no less," Captain Ultra pokes at a cream pie, "Let's just hope that the comedy continues. Let's hope that today is not a light something before a heavy null settles."

"'A heavy null,' a weighty nothingness? That's pretty absurd," Blonde Phantom becomes Blondie serving Captain Ultra a Dagwood sandwich. Feed you head.


	6. Chapter 6: Red, feed your red

Chapter 6: Red, feed your red

How absurd. The heroine feels the dirt and the cold of the night garden. The shadowed garden beneath the opaque skylight inside the stony building. The garden unnaturally trapped without true sunlight. Herself unbelievably trapped heavily within shadowy darkness. How absurd. An Avenger, an advocate, a champion feeling the dirt beneath her and the cold around and the darkness surrounding, exposure and enclosure. Around the chilled champion, clammy stonework, uncaring Asian statuary, moonlit tile, frozen tapestried dragons abutting cool watercolored villages. And, from an ice age ago, a display of stonedead Hyrkania, proto-Mongolia, lost twelve millennia back. Before her, a cast artifact gleaming naked in the low lunar light. The sword stands beckoning her to reclaim power. Power such as ghosts and witches and goblins have. The warrior steps upon frigid floor. Benumbed, she reads the display's history of a legendary Hyrkanian She-Devil with a Sword. The possessed new woman gets the sword differently than the original did.

She-Hulk's giant gray fist crashes the glass. Any klaxons cannot alarm her any further than she already has been. Lunacy herself runs fingers over edged iron before grasping the honed blade. Keen luminescence cuts a rill through shadows, and cold lover Selene takes She-Hulk's colossal hand. Witchy Hecate casts waxing dark light over the behemoth beauty. In Hecate's increscent corona cloak stands revealed effulgent Phoebe, awful and titanic. Mountainous, eerie, oreadean Cynthia. Upon the night orb's aureole, the reborn Amazon becomes wondrous huntress Diana. Deadly, whole, armed Artemis. A she-god visits beleaguered She-Hulk as the war goddess Scathach supposedly visited beset Red Sonja, the sword's first owner.

Red Sonja's Hyrkania was called the Wolf-Land of dark magic. And, growling and howling, the heroine seems now a hunting werewolf by night. By some lycanthropy, she seems her bestial cousin's primal shadow-self shaped by rage and moonlight. The gray hulk, a creature of the night. A nightmare personified. A nightmare as the word originally meant. A midnight she-devil, she-goblin, bringing disturbance and destruction.

Awash in a mare of night, naked She-Hulk thrusts the fated blade into moonrays, and they split radiant as lightning about heavy metal. The shimmering blade attends tutelary goddesses and wrathful avengers such as Scathach, Red Sonja, and She-Hulk. And, they must don wicked apparel. She-Hulk rips away the elevator doors just south of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Asian and special exhibits. She falls into the shaft's shadows. She recalls the initial dream and subsequent events driving forth this nightmare.

This bad trip began on such a lighter note. She-Hulk took notes as Dr. Druid ran an Avengers meeting into the ground. Druid droned on and on, and She-Hulk yawned in this dream of last year. Somewhere, her mind knew that it only dreamed, for Vision operated on the West Coast during this envisioned time. Yet, there he sat between thewy Thor and sexy Sub-Mariner. Vision turned his cold vision upon her and said "I have a vision to reveal." His smile snaked, and she smiled enchanted in return. Like a naga, he slithered phasing through the table while neither Captain Marvel marveled nor Dr. Druid descried. No one noticed his skulking but She-Hulk. His eyes pierced her, and his body ran her through. From behind, he gently took her hand and gracefully twirled the amazon to her feet. The touched doll danced with the sinful synthetic man as his wife Scarlet Witch beat drums and wailed witchsong. In waxing candlelight, the cadaverous maestro danced his verdant mistress over chalk patterns on the ground. The Avengers and their trappings disappeared into smoke. In rising flame, the ruddy witch looked bloody, and passion shimmered upon the shimmying pair. They stepped upon fire's burning breath, and it lofted them toward scintillating stars over a sprightly Caribbean.

The maenad undulated into sultry, tropical clouds. The hot, stirring clouds were pungent, tingly, sticky like white smoke from the charcoal night. They wrapped She-Hulk's body until pursuing, satyric Vision captured her face. Heady even for dreaming, She-Hulk allowed the merry, married mandroid to kiss her. His plastic lips were warm with animal blood. Jaguar-skin cape fluttering, Vision dispersed into rain mists on the winds. Those wet wisps moistened the white gown suddenly flowing upon She-Hulk. High, she floated higher upon the vapors into mottled white and black thunderheads. The Jade Giantess was light on the air.

Blithesome breezes buoyed the beguiled upon billows to a quaint, cozy booth where her dear friend Weezi Mason and fellow hero Captain Ultra sat. The two consumed coffee and pie, and She-Hulk fancied joining them. But, as her presence approached, her captain warned of danger.

Shulkie shade cirrously sconced, Ultra warned Weezi, "The time has come to talk of many things. Today, the Walrus and his Craftswoman were walking close at hand. She drove a carrot into my block, and I wept to see She-Hulk made of sand. Our oceanid should not leave her oyster-bed, for geists and imps could beset her. On a fine night, turning a little pink, a dismal thing to think, admire not the jink. They dance about her and play such a shameful trick. It's very rude of them to come and spoil her cool in the mid-night. This is very serious business. This monkey business."

Captain Ultra suggested that She-Hulk fear phantoms and fiends. Blonde Phantom defied this suggestion. And, liking herself too, the she-brute harrumphed "She-Hulk is the strongest one there is" before great green gams launched her home. She envisioned her bedroom. Poltergeist paws pulled prey to pillows, maroon sixty-five nightie upon her. She lay in her bed physically and psychically. And, on the dreamscape, someone visited her there in her chambers.

From miasma overlying her carpet, he rose like clouds' rain marvelously mysterious. His whisk was a crimson halo about his bald head, and his cape gleamed gold as jaguarcoat in her dream's moonlight. His white eyes pierced her from a beryl face. She knew him. Vision's father Aarkus visited her. Surely, he meant to reassure her against boyish Captain Ultra's words. This Vision could astrally project. So, he could have astrally followed from Weezi. Surely, grandfather hero had traversed her psyche's recent fog just for her. His little herogirl knew that he only entered this world via smoke. And, he left his Smoke World rarely. She-Hulk was the specialest one there is. Assuredly, his ice-blue glove stroked her forearm.

The smoky specter spoke cryptically, "On a frigid May wind rides a wicked wraith toward Gotham. And, he will chill your humors before all is through. As Baba Yaga, three hairy, hounding handpairs help him. And, his planned misdeed could multiply his might most monstrously. Mayhap even beyond your might, Jennifer, enhanced once, and enhanced recently once more."

She-Hulk sat mesmerized. Mind control was one of Aarkus's abilities. But, certainly, her mind controlled this vision, this dream, this figment for her fancy's play. Yet, she must know more about what could leave her wanting. She-Hulk must survive.

Vision read her fear deeply. He pronounced overtly, "Old Fantastic Four foe Red Ghost plans to burgle the Metropolitan Museum of Art in two days afterhours. As you know, Red Ghost and his three Super-Apes imitate the world's greatest foursome fearsomely. Forsooth, they have battered and bettered that gloried group even [see _Fantastic Four _#29]."

"I have been that quartet's mightiest member. I replaced Thing even," Shulkie snorted, "Proudly, I could take four Muscovite monkeys alone."

"No, not alone," her wooer piped.

A goblin's grin upon them, green lips gloated, "Why not? Spider-Man and Iron Man, on their owns, have smacked those four around—twice each. I am a more distinguished hero than either really—if you think awhile. Shoot, rookie Avenger Quasar vanquished Red Ghost recently [see _Quasar _#6]. Shit, my blood cousin Hulk fought Red Ghost and Attuma, no problem [see _Defenders _#7-8]. Defenders and Hawkeye aided him, granted. But, what can my stupid cousin do that I can't? I be cleverer much. Who needs Reed Richards and his gang?" The clever girl could not help but dream.

A slithering grin before it, a spellbinding voice continued, "The blackguard and beasts seek Baba Yaga's skull-staff and sacrificial dagger [see _Captain Britain _v.2 #11] foolishly donated by Britain's Braddocks. Apparition and apes wish to return dark glory to Mother Russia by the black magics of her Mother Witch."

"But, they won't thanks to the green muscle of Manhattan's green goblin bitch," she beat her breast.

Aarkus blushed against his red rabato. And, in turn, his yoke yellowed. The green grandfather Vision tinted to the crimson current, Scarlet Witch's mate. Kneeling beside his mistress, he whispered, "We should conclude our discussion of Red Ghost. You are correct that one so sensational and savage can confront Kragoff confidently. But, know this, the greater the ego, the greater the fall. When big She-Hulk falls away, your ego is but puny Jen Walters. Giantess, you are not the only one who produces mischief. Farbautian Red Ghost will reach right past your rampart—like so."

Automatic arms yanked Amazon to android lips. Locking over her mouth, they blew fetid burning breath into her throat. Impossibly, the plastic man breathed. Tarry smoke trickled from her nostrils. The pitch vapor trickled into She-Hulk from surreally-disguised Brother Voodoo—disguised as Vision—from dimensionally-obscured Null the Living Darkness. Voodoo blew jet breath into winching and gagging She-Hulk. Her rheumy, irritated eyes perused peripherally the robotman's rabato, and a hundred deathglazed eyes gazed back spying. In her dream, a necrotic appendage beheld her being. In reality, her complexion turned Frankenstein gray. Outside Voodoo's clutches, she growled freely and expanded liberally. Her loose nightclothes tore slightly. On the dreamscape, she shoved her ravager back. She would control this vision. Shockingly, however, he was no longer a lovely Vision, but rather the similarly motley Captain Ultra. The op-ish, other oracle tonight.

The envisioned ogress, now ashen, ordered, "Get out! You silly superman, I heed no warners." Static projected from her pointing finger. And, her pointer lie within a purple glove suddenly appeared.

Agonizing, Ultra answered, "Reflect upon what you have become. Remember what I said. Leave neither your oyster skin nor your oyster bed. Aargh!"

"AARGH!" She-Hulk splintered the mysteryman, the mist itself, the bemisted firmament. Forth fog, she fell through the floorschism's shadows.

She-Hulk awoke in Mr. Powers's apartment below hers (see _Sensational She-Hulk _#4). Around lay remnants of her hammered bed and floor, which was Powers's ceiling. She had smashed right through. The towering Powers helped her up. His black hair looked reddish in dawn's sunlight. He reported that he heard her loud cooings and then a commotion. Abruptly, a monster gray, great, and growling thrashed upon his flattened furniture. Then, she blushed green and awoke. For modesty, the embarrassed superwoman fixed her stretched, torn T-shirt and shorts.

"The greater the ego, the greater the fall," Jericho Drumm thought to himself before ever visiting She-Hulk's bedchamber. He knew this admonition true from when Null humbled the houngan supreme. He knew this counsel bitterly true from fighting She-Hulk at the UN. At the UN, his mesmerism should have wrangled the wild jenny. But, Null's halter handled the deluded dicky, instead. Somehow, Gray Goblin resisted the Haitian's hoodoo and hexes. However, Null willing, Brother Voodoo would now scourge the self-assured she-ass to rawness. No hide—neither hulk, hobgoblin, hero, nor hubris—would hide her from herself. The houngan priest knew that Jen Walters was but a naked nothingness personating famed attorney, gloried champion, great beast. Null would rebirth her into the cold chaos without and within. After her rampage and fall, she would sit chilled amidst her most nihilistic fears—powerless, monstrous, and forewarned. Forewarned by Banner blood. Forewarned by villains constantly capturing and combating her half-decked. Forewarned when Doc Samson examined and analyzed her. Forewarned when Captain Ultra and Brother Voodoo slithered across her dreams.

"May I help you, ambassador?" Russian ambassador Yuri Petrovich opened his UN apartment door.

"Yes," Haitian representative Jericho Drumm stood where he had knocked, "Please invite me in."

Petrovich welcomed his colleague. Around tea, they discussed their recent mutual adventure involving Machine Man and Avengers. She-Hulk's change proved especially interesting. Blitzkrieg's sacrifice proved especially tragic. Tragedy and change were of late familiar to both men. Awhile back, the Soviet Union fell. More recently, Haiti lost autonomous rule for UN governance. Shaking his chin, Drumm lit his fumid pipe. Nodding, Petrovich reminisced about his Crimson Dynamo days. Both the union and he were invincible then. With a sudden smokepuff, the necromancer blew noxious Null up Petrovich's proud nostrils. The mindmaster mesmerized his comrade and guided him. Citizen Petrovich must reclaim Russia's soul from the Americans. In an opulent American museum sat the very staff and dagger of Baba Yaga, Russia's oldest spiritual leader. The retired KGB man must dispatch someone to acquire the museum trophy. Someone such as Red Ghost, unstoppable thief and honored cold warrior. Dr. Ivan Kragoff gave his very humanity for Russia once. Honorably, Russia should return him to the fold now. She needed old soldiers for new revolutions. On ghostly percussion and vapors, Jericho Drumm dissipated telling the honorable ambassador that Voodoo never visited.

The next day, the former Crimson Dynamo flew into action. Out of the blue, he contacted his estranged father Ivan Petrovich (see _Champions _#10), chauffeur of Soviet superspy Black Widow. Stranger than his sudden glasnost, he openly solicited defectors Petrovich and Romanoff to find rogue Russian Red Ghost. "Why do you seek him?" queried Black Widow quizzically. More strangely yet, the unanticipated apparatchik answered that the Federation's future must include its future-looking past. For example, Dr. Ivan Kragoff advanced the space program exponentially early-on. And, he had much to offer the program now. "Including a villainous history" thought Black Widow. But, the spiderwoman decided to draw the dynamo into a web. She would examine and strike, or not. As a SHIELD agent, she accepted the UN member's mission. Dutifully, the Avenger contacted fellow Avenger Quasar. He apprehended Red Ghost lately on Luna. Quasar reported that he returned him to Earth. On Earth, near Four Freedoms Plaza (see _Power Pack _#61-62), Black Widow spied Red Ghost spying upon the Fantastic Four. One spook startled another. She brought the primate-loving, parka-wearing prowler in from the cold. UN Amb. Petrovich and international menace Kragoff made contact. Then, Black Widow contacted the Secretary General and communicated the Kremlin's current controversial constructs.

Against decorum, Amb. Petrovich's limo drove Red Ghost and Super-Apes onto the neutral UN grounds. Audaciously, the five gulped vodka in the Delegates' Dining Room. There, the former super-soldier sold scheming scientist, "The burglary is profitable, for I pay you. This spirited sacking is glorious, for it re-illumes our Cossack character. And, this task returns you to good graces with Mother Russia. May your nation rely on you? Will you lift Baba Yaga's staff and leave something witchy?"

"By St. Cyril, you are touched by a devil! Your plan is helter-skelter. Yet, I would love regaining my reputation as a thief. And who knows? Perhaps magical artifacts can enhance my powers as I have often plotted. Mr. Fantastic, Iron Man, and Spider-Man have all foiled past plans to enhance my abilities. Hopefully, some foolish hero opposes me this time too. I would love to revalidate my bonechilling reputation. I am in. Na zdorovia! To good hairy companions and this even better vodka."

"Which you and shaggy scoundrels may finish elsewhere, tovarich. Much as breaking a Russian toast is an insult," Black Widow, Black Panther and the Secretary General abreast her, told Red Ghost to leave, "Amb. Petrovich, you have matters to discuss with Mr. Secretary General."

"Thank you, Ms. Romanoff," the UN leader complimented, "And, thank you for removing Red Ghost without combative chaos. Have you Avengers ever considered working with the UN more closely?" Ivan and apes left.

That toast was five days before Brother Voodoo visited She-Hulk. Thus, Red Ghost had an entire week to plan his intrusion. She-Hulk had but a day to plan her countermeasures. Still, both superbeings proceeded with complete confidence.

Contemptuously, She-Hulk shook hands with Met museum director Daniels and security head Willis. Antipathy met Avenger. Norm Daniels recounted blind menaces Daredevil and Tagak manhandling him after he confused Tagak for a burglar and shot him (see _Daredevil _#72). Impotence met Amazon. Jeff Willis recalled darn cat people and other destructions beyond his control: Daredevil and Tagak the Leopard-Lord versus Quothor, X-Men versus Tigre (see _Uncanny X-Men _#73), White Tiger and Human Fly versus Copperhead (see _Human Fly _#8-9), Spider-Man and Red Sonja versus Kulan Gath (see _Marvel Team-Up _#79), Spider-Man pursuing a different Fly (see _Amazing Spider-Man _#193), Thing versus Nephrus (see _Marvel Two-in-One _#95). Daniels and Willis would rather step aside pouting than oppose a high hero. Patronizingly, She-Hulk patted pates "I would not want to see you molested."

Shulkie skulked and sulked in boredom as dead of night bore neither ghost nor imps. She knew Red Ghost and Super-Apes sought Baba Yaga's staff in European Art and Baba Yaga's dagger from adjacent Arms & Armor. They lay in respective glasscases lambent beneath lowlight. In mild darkness, the hulking huntress fidgeted and grunted making detectable motion and noise. However, the Met's motion detectors did not detect her. She had had Willis deactivate them so as not to expose her on clever stakeout. Rather, other gazes framed her fingertapping in the doorway between sections. Her own heated gaze glassed upon the staff's case. Aha! There it was!

Atop the glass, the staff suddenly sat. Someone had drawn it through without splintering the case. Its cushion sat unoccupied below. Surely, phantasm Red Ghost had swiped the staff and had laid a carrot for the she-beast. Snorting, she strode directly and openly toward her dull silhouette in the glass. Empowered, she feared no questions. Why leave the bait like this? Where were Ghost and hench-apes? Who cared? She-Hulk was the strongest one there was.

She-Hulk stroked the staff, "I'll take this scepter, Casper. I am the only witch treating you to tricks tonight."

But. Presto-chango! The staff snapped about her reaching wrist and cuffed around her other. Pow-crack! A cannonball blitzed She-Hulk's mug. It flew from Arms & Armor, and a pitched broadsword followed. Fettered broad-fists batted sword aside. She-Hulk snarled at her bound wrists, and plastic baboon Igor snarled back. Peripherally, She-Hulk witnessed empty standing armor breakout its case. Animated, two weapons and a shield joined it. On invisible strings, WWI heroes Sir Steel and Silver Squire charged the Hun as they had two generations prior, now gangling armor and sword Sir Steel, now dangling mace and shield sidekick. Puppeteer orangutan Peotor snickered in ceiling shadows.

She-Hulk smirked at danger, "Shoot, I'll try not damaging this shit. But, if I do, Steel and Squire are dead anyway. They'll just get their duds back in superhero Heaven. They are tin soldiers of the past, and I'm the atomic bombshell of today. I can top them with two hands tied."

"Howabout when seeing no evil?" phased Red Ghost popped from the floor and covered her peepers.

Sir Steel's sword chipped itself upon her neck, and Silver Squire's shield dented itself buffeting her tunic. Doubt whispered in her ear, "Oh dear, you are carelessly damaging treasures. I would not. For example, I spirited Baba Yaga's staff to the basement after finding its guard so heedless."

"Shut up, bitch!" perturbed She-Hulk crashed Igor through caseglass and removed him bloodily, "She-Hulk is not dumb boy like Cousin Hulk. She outwits puny humans. Just ask Circus of Crime [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#1] and Stilt-Man [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#4] and. . . ."

"Peotor, throat! Miklo, face!" Red Ghost cut-off She-Hulk. Sir Steel's steel jabbed her suprasternal notch. She gasped. Gassy turned Red Ghost's hands over her sight. Through fog flew Miklo's dark fist into her face. Through Ghost and air, it flung her crashing into priceless masterpiece Bernini's _Bacchnal, teased by children_.

"Oh dear. Beauties damaged," Red Ghost mused, "Let us do only a bit more violence." He gave apes hand-signals.

She-Hulk arose angry. Silver Squire's shield plastered over her face. Sir Steel's glaive gored her gut. Squire's shield dropped deformed from her eyes. Then, Squire's mace maced them wickedly. She-Hulk's suddenly bloodshot orbs opened wide, and a certain chord was struck. Steely slaps pestered her glaring, growling face. Then, Miklo's fist punched her out the gallery. The bopped bulk bounced-off building with cartoonish bang. From above, van Gogh's _Irises _and _Shoes _tumbled out of second-floor European Paintings.

Surprisingly, the do-gooder swatted van Gogh's pretties brutishly aside. Abruptly, the heroine seized and shattered Sir Steel's thrusting bilbo and Silver Squire's linked flailballs. Shockingly, she crumbled Steel's helmet like a tin trinket and tore in-twain his noble chainmail. Incredibly, she belted charging Miklo backward toward amazed Ivan and Igor. She struck Miklo so uninhibitedly that he blasted through the case with Baba Yaga's dagger. As Miklo reeled, orang Peotor drew the metal dagger to himself.

Deadpan, She-Hulk stated, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"That's okay. You're an asshole when composed too," Red Ghost taunted, "For example, you disabled the alarms, and I snuck a shrewdness of apes through your opening. You eliminated the guards and—apparently—your fellow Avengers. And now, we four shall avenge ourselves on one of the Fantastic Four. I may lack substance sometimes. But, at least, I don't have shit for brains, nincompoop."

"Quiet!" a mini-sonic boom clapped from expanding paws. The blast sprayed displaypanes, cracked precious dishes, wobbled busts, quivered arms, clattered august armor, eroded treasured sculptures, and rumbled echoing walls. But, Red Ghost turned simply intangible. Igor flattened himself, Peotor steadied himself magnetically. Miklo took the sonicsurge without much ill. Only art was damaged. Russian raiders advanced unscathed.

"Some ass just broke wind—and much art," Red Ghost quipped, "I change my mind. You are not so anal afterall. You're more of an animal ass in a chinashop, Jenny."

Bristling mulishly, the jade abandoned her Jekyll and released the Hyde hidden within her hide. Skin stretched grotesquely as muscle bloated beneath it. Her outside ashened to gray over flesh nearly bursting forth. Breasts tightened into pecs, and brow bulged bilateral. Her hands became Hyde's hamfists, and her enlarging legs nearly broke boots. Above, gamma green eyes burned cobalt blue—then hellfire red. Ears pointed slightly lupine, and nose jutted witchy. Her olive lips sanguined purple, and her teeth grew ghoulish and great. Slimy sweat slide down her face and front.

Like a cleansing creampie, a torpedoed extinguisher exploded over the gray she-troll's mug.

"Fine work, my hirsute henchman," Red Ghost praised Peotor.

"AAAAHHH! She-Hulk smash!" the beast expressed herself. Chilling foam and rabid spit flew.

Charging hellcow butted powered pongid Miklo backward, plowed over Peotor, and approached Red Ghost apparently surprised and solid. But, instead of splattering, his body let her through him and into breaking limestone wall. Grunting, Gray Goblin growled "Get you! Get you!" Grunting, gorilla engaged her again. Thick, putrid sweat rained as Gray Goblin faced him. He had Thing's fists, but he needed a chin most presently. Furiously, the ogress threw her boulder-jab right past Miklo's guard. His gorilla skull endured the blow and a hammerblow compressing his might neck. Gray Goblin actually seized his skin as if grasping a shirt and bitchslapped his face side-to-side. Holding animal aloft, she released a left cross so puissant that it knocked thick apeteeth through air. She dropped brute to her feet. Miklo gulped blood and kowtowed before the female, gray silverback. She-Hulk's sweat plopped like urine upon the dominated.

But, her piss and vinegar seemed drained a wee. The incredible savage paused as sneer relaxed and flesh shivered.

"As at the UN battle. Come, Miklo, a moment's rest," Red Ghost tackled gently the gorilla and phased through the floor, "Peotor, give us that moment."

The orang ripped electricity from the breached wall's wiring. In black and white flicker, the gray gargantuan trumpeted and thrashed. She charred and smoked as though breathing fire. Marvel at the sight of this towering monstrosity, diabla of destruction. The queen of monsters swooned stunned in sizzling static. Then, the smoldering memorial to the startling broke through volts of electricity. Saliva hissing, she staggered by the Monkey Cup in Medieval Art—and towards the main entrance and exit. Her sooty boots scraped a trail across reflecting white under her heavy ashy-gray form. She seemed slightly smaller. Then, Kong returned for a rematch.

Miklo dropped from the corridor ceiling passing the gift shop. He had sprawled himself above, and hazy heroine had not noticed him. His iron hammerblow drove the leaden Laestrygonian to marble. He beat his chest. He snarled above, and she snarled back below. She sprang to a stand. Their terrible glares met. Steel muscles rippled. But, suddenly, chainmail limbs wrapped her windpipe and rounded her ribcage. The original Black Knight's hollow black gloves and blue-black arms coiled, constricted, captured. Somewhere, an ocher-crowned clown cackled. Through darkness, the devil-doll Sir Percy drew haltered harpy-hulk hindward. Before feet could plant, the hidden firehaired beast flung She-Hulk backward, bounced her up stairs, and flipped her ass-over-kettle to the second-floor European Paintings. The jack on her back dragged her inverted down the wall. Her feet above dropped to her head on the floor.

Beneath Boucher's _The Toilet of Venus_, slick she-sweat slide the Dark Ages armor from her form. Angry, She-Hulk considered punching Black Knight; however, she decided otherwise. Her green fist halted before damaging another irreplaceable artifact.

"Do you come to your senses, dushechka?" Red Ghost stepped from David's banner _The Death of Socrates_, "I thought that you would. Too bad that Miklo goes yet 'ape' after his beating."

Before She-Hulk knew, Miklo bounded the entire stairset and tackled Amazon through Aphrodite, through wall, and through di Cosimo's _A Hunting Scene_ opposite Boucher. Trained by Thing, She-Hulk grappled the guerilla gorilla. She grabbed both arms atop her and twisted them in opposite directions. Ape off-balance, she monkey-flipped him easily through the floor and into Medieval Art below. Puffing, the pummeled primate scaled a column quickly back through the ceilinghole. He heard Red Ghost order, "Miklo, stand!"

She-Hulk stood surrounded. To her left, in European Paintings, Red Ghost loomed wraithlike halfway out Bruegel's _The Harvesters_. To her right, Igor distended bloody body and bared baboon fangs. Before her, in Musical Instruments, Peotor hovered priceless percussive brickbat bombs. Behind her, Miklo awaited the rebrawl. She-Hulk stood in the center, her healthy green now paled, her expansive physique reduced a wee. She doubted that her legs could yet rocket her out of this, and she wondered if she could yet defeat these four.

"Just as I predicted," Red Ghost gloated from the peanut gallery, "you shrink from us just as you fell at the UN."

The heroine acted confident, "Listen, I want to avoid damaging more stuff. However, I don't mind damaging you four personally. I told you, you fucken little monkeys, not to fuck with me."

Her low elbow and high backfist ambushed Miklo's basket and puss—but did not drop him. Frantically, She-Hulk flung the punchdrunk pongid into fellow pongid Peotor. The two anthropoids tumbled—but suffered little injury. She-Hulk spun toward Igor. But, he had disappeared. Peotor and Miklo rose in the next room. Concerned, the incredible shrinking superwoman drew a choppy breath. These apes were giving her the finger. Where were Ghost and Igor? They were all-around, above, and below.

From beneath her boots, Red Ghost rose like a living menacing miasma. "Boo" he breathed below before binding brittle burnt boots. To her ankles, She-Hulk sank into writhing smoke and wooden floor. Then, servant Igor swung elongated from above. His body wrapped about hers. In high tension, she was stretched from her stockaded feet to her yoked shoulders. Testing tension, Peotor—not stongman Miklo—uppercut She-Hulk's middle. She-Hulk actually felt the wildman's blow. It ripped her from her boots. Little Igor raised the heroine. Determined to fight, a mottled green-pink palm swiped at the imp. But, she missed. Baboon decided to let go. Jen Walters fell to cold floor. Stunned and still, she closed her eyes and felt chilly ground sorely.

"You seemed shucked of your armor, Athena. But, that misfortune is perhaps fair. For, you did destroy poor Sir Steel and Silver Squire's accoutrements," Red Ghost spoke over her, "You tore them up. Perhaps, we should tear you down further. Miklo."

A monstrous apepaw seized long womanly hair. Jen opened worried eyes. Then, Miklo mercilessly curled her over icy marble and burning rug until steely elevator doors jolted her abruptly. A naked foot pointed to gorilla beating his chest. Its exposed companion indicated a distant fallen wristband. At least she had still her bodysuit—albeit loosened, frayed, and torn—to make her She-Hulk.

"Peotor," Ivan spoke. Surreally, the elevator's right door crumpled into a great finger. It flicked forward rapping Jen; then, it swung back batting her. Cringing, she hit the car's wall and then it's dirty floor.

"What a knockout. And, the swat was not bad either," apemaster chortled. Master-apes guffawed. Red Ghost and Super-Apes jammed into the tight space.

"You got me." Jen Walters was not as brave as She-Hulk. The woman controlled her breathing and averted her gaze. She was in their heavy gaze and heavy breathing now.

"We got you. We got the babydoll at the matryoshka's center," red Red Ghost read her, "Great gray hulk gone. Mean green hulk gone. Blushing pink woman here. What layer goes next?"

Meddlesome mitten grabbed her remaining left wristband. His right mitt yanked her to him. Then, his left horrorshow hand shoved her insubstantial body through the backwall. Landing hard, she noticed her missing wristband and fallen shoulderstrap. She saw a wraith and hellhounds ooze from Sackler Hall's shadows and into its midnight dusk. Wooden floor creaked under and around her. Pithecoid paws padded proceeding 'pon pretty petite pulse progressively pounding.

Jen's scalp tingled and sweated. Miklo towered grunting and grinning. Peotor stooped staring and smiling. Igor's elongating members entered Jen's locks. Looming and leering, Red Ghost gloated "Huntress Diana becomes hunted Daphne over the timbered ground. A-whooooo!" The four apes whooped.

"Stop it!" Jen spat. Igor jerked her scalp and threw her. Jennifer ran for the hills. Her barefeet bolted over dusty, chilling ground. Massive Miklo and pilose Peotor whipped arms and ran whooping behind her. She reached Astor Court—the Asian garden.

"Bastards!" she bent bamboo ineffectually into Miklo's mug. Kong swatted it aside. Exposed heroine turned to green cover. But, abruptly, before her, a red parka and shoving mitts. Clownishly, she hit the deck, Jen's sandy hair over She-Hulk's unmasked face.

"Grab her arms," the bodysuited bully instructed. Miklo and Peotor each took a soft, pink limb. Jen Walters surveyed Red Ghost standing above, astraddle her hips. Her strap had fallen, and her bust was nie exposed.

She lay in the garden's white dirt amidst the museum's black darkness. Earlier, she dreamt of a lovely vision, but it was a ghostly vision now. Suddenly, she realized that warnings whispered on wisps visited her two nights past. She realized that this will o' the wisp, this vision, knew smoke and mirrors, magic, and mesmerism. Much like conjurer Brother Voodoo. Her inner imp had detected Voodoo's hoodoo at the UN. And, her inner detective knew that some jovian jackdaw had flitted from clouds to fuck her mind. She-Hulk was a creature who would not humiliate Dr. Drumm.

Of Banner blood, a glowing goblin guardian (see _Incredible Hulk _#309) resided within Jen Walters. And, this supernatural creature had ripped forth from her virginal white blouse (see _Savage She-Hulk _#1). Jen Walters was a legal advocate when women were not, but Nick Trask made her another victim. Puny Jen could be dogged and exploited. But, She-Hulk would never be. She was a prosecutor impervious to evil, an icon of savage femininity, a daughter incapable of failure, a Western sheriff surpassing patres familias, a fearless fusion of fury, fate, fire, fantasy, and freedom. She-Hulk was even the surpassing lawyer. She argued before the Supreme Court (see _Solo Avengers_ #14), not Jen. Silly villains such as Man-Killer (see _Marvel Team-Up _#107) and Radioactive Man (see _Avengers _#228) overwhelmed Jen Walters, but never her altered ego. Sometimes, Jen might scurry from a SHIELD cage, but She-Hulk won the day ultimately (see _Marvel Graphic Novel _#18). And, She-Hulk feared not her own body and identity. After the SHIELD adventure, she became gladly herself permanently.

No. Vanity. She-Hulk was not Athena's Aegis but rather a damsel's nightgown. Jen wore her insecurely. She-Hulk wore herself narcissistically. Upon Jen Walters's bosom, Red Ghost's mitt pressed.

"Vidi your real horrorshow, heroine. You often engage fans, no? You break a forth wall and meet their gaze. In your eyes, what do they see? What do you suppose they want to see? What do you see now?" a leathery stroke dallied downward.

Jen's eyes gaped, and she gasped in realization. The creeping, coriaceous fingers phased into her regal purple fibers. Her apparel grew intangible. Ghostly glove grazed taut abdomen, where sickened sweat soaked suit, where mortal mist seeped subgarb. Phantom flesh flowed phlebishly through threads forming a feminine façade; a phenomenal fist faded farb and form phase-by-phase from fazed female. Her leotard lacked color, and her tights lost their substance. Her costume was now transluscent, and her human body was opaquely apparent.

"You evanish like an Invisible Woman, Ms. Walters," the doctor lectured, "I examine Marvel Comics' bourgeois tripe. For dreadful pennies, Marvel's first lady Sue Richards, Invisible Woman, keeps neither her adornment nor her dignity. Emperor takes her clothes [see _Fantastic Four _#241]. Brute has his way with her [see _Fantastic Four _#179]. Deviant Ghaur bridles a bride [see _West Coast Avengers Annual _#4], and deviant Namor declares her a mistress. Dragon Man grabs dame dolly repeatedly. Psycho-Man dresses the dolly in naughty leather, spikes, and bitchboots [see _Fantastic Four _#281]. Like the Invisible Girl, even you—the four's fantastic flesh—are infamously but an exploited bauble in _Naked Truth _[see _Fantastic Four _#275]. And, now, the bauble Barbie loses her clothes again."

Ghost grasped. Jen gasped. His solidifying paw ripped her bodice. Her spine stiffened. Her gut tensed as he tugged her transluscent tissue garment. Fumid fiend phased feminine fabric free. Stygian specter presented purple apparel to plebified chick in bondage. Jen Walters was naked. Frozen, she shivered. Sweat slithered from her temples to her ears.

Red Ghost's voice trickled into her, "You lose your clothes often, dushechka. That seems to be what the audience wants. This nudity seems to be a running shtick for a supposed superwoman. I think shucking her armor makes a goddess less. She is just a woman."

Woman Jen Walters leaned back into hirsute handlers to cover futilely her front. Impotently, shoulders shook in firm furry palms. Bootlessly, feet shuffled. Vainly, she-muscles exerted.

Red Ghost leaned forward, inward, "Villains and fans want Wonder Woman in bondage and under their control. They want Wasp pinned naked while Ultron, mechanical device, looms [see _Avengers _#162] or forgetting her suit, the bimbo [see _Avengers _#219]. They crave Hellcat—a sexy hellcat—nude before their demons [see _Defenders _#94] or disrobed for surgery [see _Defenders _#56] or undressed for sexy Tigra [see _West Coast Avengers _#15]. They need pussy Tigra becoming occasionally just a raven-haired bird in a bikini. They want prideful kitty Shadowcat to escape the ultimate wolf—but only by losing her clothes [see _Excalibur _#2]. They desire half-naked Storm in the Hellfire Club's deadly sanctuary [see _Uncanny X-Men _#131] and stark-naked Rogue in Genoshan guards' feely hands [see _Uncanny X-Men _#236]. They demand some heroines ever half-bare: Tigra, Namorita, Moondragon, Shanna, Ms. Marvel herself. New woman such as Cap's or Hulk's Betty Ross? Same old torn top or shed shoe. Strip. Show us excess. Or, we shall not buy you."

Red Ghost kept going, "Even our world's fantasy must pursue journalism's sad voyeurism. I have read of a joker stripping a Batgirl, female Batman, in the funnies. Picture that, and say 'smile.' Fans prize and collect these fleeced feminine figures. But, mostly, fans want you." A leather hand caught her across bare face.

The critic interrogated the nude, low amidst great art, "When did a foe last not shred your outfit? Why do you wear nothing more durable than stockings, skirts, blouses? Supermen do not consistently suffer degrading divestment."

"Hulk," she-Jen murmured.

"Bruce is a wonky loser. As a man, he loses so many opportunities to be a man. As Hulk, he loses his control and his intelligence. So, logically yes, the loser loses his garb as you constantly do," the lecturer professed, "Month-after-month, Savage She-Hulk wore but pantless tatters, and she wore but a showercurtain against Torque [see _Savage She-Hulk_ #23]. Upon Wasp's command, you wore just bra and panties to meet Masters of Evil [see _Avengers _#222]; you chose lingerie to meet Stilt-Man [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#4]; SHIELD exposed you upon their examtable; then, Headmen do so on theirs [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#2]. And, then, La Hacienda [see _Savage She-Hulk _#8] and Dorkham Asylum [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#20] do the similar. Playing, Dr. Doom opened your sweater for Christmas [see _Marvel Comics Presents _#18]. Frolicking, Orka shredded your wetsuit for watersport [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#12]. Now are visions of villains reducing your wardrobe to ribbons or a jumprope [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#23, 40, & 58]. Underground amazing fantasy carries all even further."

"Y-y-you're a pig. You're a pig stuck in your own muddy logic," a shivering, stammering, exposed lawyer meekly made her case, "I am She-Hulk. You are no iconoclast unveiling the truth about a superheroine. I am goddess and legend. Every superwoman is. I am as beautiful as Venus yet as unattainable as Diana. We wondrous women are incarnated dream, hope, fantasy, spectacle, and symbol. I, She-Hulk, am strange Isis, mighty Freya, alluring Lorelei, amusing Thalia, and guardian Gaea. By nature, my body personifies and celebrates freedom: physical, sexual, and social. She-Hulk is incredible, savage, and liberated. She celebrates her body and identity. A-a-at least, that's what I think."

The room really was bonechilling, and Jen Walters really was naked. Miklo and Peotor breathed hot upon her shoulders. Her rear sat cold upon the earth. Her limbs felt numb and paralyzed, yet her face ached cringing. Igor gazed. Dank sweat seeped her sides. Jen's chest rose into nipping air. Red Ghost licked his lips.

"You are femininity incarnate? Well, we got you blushing blood-red incarnadine," he raised a spectral hand perhaps to encroach her shuddering heart within, "Your Western author Poe wrote once that we each have an imp within. This imp of the perverse impels one toward irrational self-destruction. This monkey on the back makes one wrong and erroneous, sinful and stupid. I think that we Russians have seen your hairy hobgoblin tonight.

I think that you exposed yourself. You exposed your arrogance when you exposed She-Hulk to an attack without her allies. You exposed your hysteria when you birthed that off-color monster. Your exposed id exposed your incompetence and inferiority. You neither defeated us nor protected superb objects—including yourself. We physical scientists merely peeled and probed that object: big head, crude crutch, bad blood, clay feet."

The rude Russian patted her pate. Staring shakma harassed her hams. Glaring gorilla clutched her carotids. Ogling orang rubbed her ribs. Red Ghost concluded clinically, "I'm a pig? No, you're a pig. You're a sow wallowing in messy ego and caked in soft façade. Play in the dirt, swine."

Miklo dumped Jen into the garden. Her face and feet hit moist soil. She did not raise her snout. She did not raise her eyes. She did not see the shrewdness of apes leaving. The animals had vetted her.

How absurd. The heroine feels the dirt and the cold of the night garden. Klaxons cannot alarm her any further than she already has been. Alarms call sirens to the Met. Police follow destruction to a dropoff to the Costume Institute. A costume and accoutrement are gone.


	7. Chapter 7: Goblin Market

(Note to Readers: The Gray Goblin in this story is not the one pestering Spider-Man in 2004. This story occurs in 1990).

Chapter 7: "Goblin Market"

A black spit jets above Manhattan's cinereous pre-dawn streets. A gray-green grimace growls and grins grumbling goblin glider beneath her and eighty-feet of air beneath it. Eighty-feet below, the nightveiled 5th Avenue canyon stirs. Rictus ready, a wrathful witch flying flits bloodshot eyes over Avengers Mansion ten blocks south of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

"Something wicked this way comes" quotes Simon Savage supervising the site's re-construction. He quotes from a tragedy about a fallen hero and a hubristic heroine.

"How do you sense that, Savage?" foreman Scott Lang beside him queries. The two humble heroes—Cap. Savage and Ant-Man—work together since Falcon introduced them (see "A Plague of Villains," _New York, New York I_). New Avenger Sersi susurrates asleep, her slight ESP disturbed. The high shadow passes southward.

Upon Hellfire Mansion, the glider casts its cimmerian shadow. White Queen Emma Frost shivers beneath silk sheets as her senses telepathic startle. Black Queen Selene—Hecate—smirks and stares skyward within the mansion. Outside, overhead, "death and darkness are rushing forward." Phantasmal S'raphh scream from the glider's aft. They are Null's Stygian tail usurping Green Goblin's established white smoke and bright flame trail. Like Bellerophon upon purloined Pegasus, Gray Goblin handles Green Goblin's unnatural steed stolen from muse Osborn. Above her, Red Sonja's silvery sword erect. Below that, Gray Goblin's platinum tresses billowed. Below that, groaning leaden lips grown into gross goblin grin. Below that, distended chest strains purple tunic; plumped feet nie burst purple boots. Beneath Gray Goblin, in Grand Army Plaza, Jeff Willis walks to work while wraithy witch wafts over put-upon man.

At the International's Atlas statue, Gray Goblin pivots over St. Patrick's Cathedral. The spirit of darkness passes over the holyhouse, and the morning faithful within are undisturbed. Gargoyles and the Cross send it away. Sneering and snarling, the she-beast stops snaking. She snaps skyward, slopes sharply, and ascends southeast. Southeast in Tudor City, sleeping Brother Voodoo snaps awake and snickers over his revenge and machinations. A shrieking missile spears in maximum overdrive, the monster's lips rippling back like a mastiff charging, like Grendel toward Heorot.

Upon Four Freedoms Plaza's glass, a bugbear reflects from afar. She slows to sail over the Waldorf-Astoria and to pivot once more. She is down Lexington Avenue. Then, she is between the sleeping Belmont Plaza and Barclay hotels. Her sinister finger points upon Four Freedoms Plaza. Within, in two bedrooms, lie sister and brother Sue and Johnny Storm asleep fifty floors above Manhattan's canyons. The Fantastic Four has just escaped Nebula's dark clutches (see _Fantastic Four _#341). And, members distinctly need to repose and recuperate. Nearby, friend Ben Grimm relaxes and breakfasts in a kitchen. Guarding over all, Reed Richards dozes two floors above in his lab. He returned a mere two hours ago with everyone. He stated then "I'll turn in. I feel like I haven't slept in weeks." But, Reed is an insomniac workaholic. Groggily, he reviews the Nebula encounter in his roost. Ms. Marvel is somewhere around. Franklin is safe with Power Pack uptown. Perhaps, his psychic abilities could warn his family about Gray Goblin. But, he—thankfully—is elsewhere.

Outside, lost fantastic family scratches-at closed former home. As glider buzzes Four Freedoms, Sonja's steel squeaks and scrapes harmlessly upon impervious windows. Alarms sound not at all as passing obsidian shade reflects in woven carbon windows. But, the Living Darkness will not be denied. Goblin's sinister finger juts at Four Freedoms, and her purple glove shoots not the instrument's usual sparks—but rather something more destructive. Null's ugsome ichor issues forth, black as Venom's webbing.

A tenebrous tether attaches upon glass just outside slumbering Sue, and an incredible arm impossibly distends outward fibrous infrangible fenster. Violating venom eats and etches the impervious surface as Null's essence flows from truculent titan tugging to tenebrous tether to toxic tendrils transfixing transparent traverse. The superglass actually tears.

A klaxon sounds. The alarm resembles the intruder alert awakening the Fantastic Four before their last adventure (see _Fantastic Four _#337). Perhaps, the similar circumstance seems dreamlike to Johnny and Sue who only crack their eyes slightly. Overhead, groggy Reed rolls his eyes lazily forward. Their lassitude buys the hovering hobgoblin time. She sends eldritch lightning up her sword and gamma-infused rage to her arm. The blazing blade singes and splits woven diamond further. Stretched purple gloves on hulking limbs widen the fissure fiercely. So, four powers invade four powers: Red Sonja, Null, Green Goblin, and She-Hulk.

The alarm increases. Sue's eyes are open. Hurled, the fulgurous longsword bolts through the wall into her beloved brother's room. Sis gasps. The Green Goblin's pumpkin petard spins forth. It releases—not its usual white smoke—but a black blanket over the disoriented woman. Invisible Woman feels yet Morpheus's spell, and Nebula's too. Rolling from bed, she turns invisible in the obscuring smoke and drowsily begins a forcefield, usually an automatic counter-action. Through the haze come Green Goblin's argent bat-blades; they slice Richards's yellow gown and pink skin. Cackling Goblin crackles searing static throughout the smoke, and Sue screams startled and shocked. Stunned, she stumbles still sans shield. Swiftly approaching, Thing's footfalls thunder, heralding help.

"Sue! What's happening? Flame on!" come the words from next door.

"Stay, prey. I'll come get you" a vamp-ridden chrome chiropter crashes through aramid wall. A human gnat stands wobbly and weaving in her gaze. Human Torch is but half-dressed in pajama bottoms. After the Nebula encounter, Reed described Johnny as "listless and enervated" (see_ Fantastic Four _#343), and such would seem the case. Sonja's steaming sword sticks from the wall behind him.

"Nebula, is that you?" he addresses the charcoal wraith before him, "I miss you my dark lady. But, you must stop visiting me and my mind." Johnny staggers unsteady.

The she-creature seizes shoulders. Human Torch flames on. Her hands blister, and her gloves burn. "Look into my eyes" sounds an abysmal voice. Null's malevolent legion gazes into Johnny's assailable soul and prepossessed psyche. Frenzied flames scorch huge, hulking hands. Yet, the she-beast releases not at all. From the void of her eyes, Null spits ecto-tar into Torch's orbs. The tar flows forward over them into his head; a fetid cataract of demonic goo covers each eyeball. Hellish cold penetrates Johnny's mind within, and his flame extinguishes without. She-Hulk releases. Charred skin and necrotic juice hang and drip from Gray Goblin's hands.

Null penetrates Johnny, and Johnny enters nothingness. Half-naked, Human Torch ejaculates, "Nooo! I'm losing control! It's consuming me! It's consuming me!" Before his blinded eyes, Torch's deepest fear comes alive (see _Daredevil _#261). Flames burst through his arms, split skin, consume meat, char bone. Human Torch screams. Fire blasts open his abdomen, embroils his chest, shoots from his jaws. Human inferno howls and groans. Before his eyes, his face bubbles and boils. Into his nose, frying flesh waifs. In the real world, Johnny Storm thrashes in utter agony. His psychogenic flickering flames threaten the furniture.

"You're a fire hazard," Gray Goblin's hands heal instantly by She-Hulk's healing factor and by Null, "I should stomp you out. Or, spit on you. Or, splatter you on an unbreakable window"

Abruptly, a transparent barrier smashes Gray Goblin in the face and off of her hovering horse. "Get away from him, you bitch!" Guardian sister Sue Richards wallops Gray Goblin through the wall. In the hallway, Sue suspends struggling She-Hulk in a mid-air sphere. Invisible Woman does not recognize the grinning gray gargantuan in the purple tunic. Mrs. Reed Richards examines, "Who are you? The weapons and abilities suggest Green Goblin or a demon. And, you look like Mephisto raped Norman Osborn in Hell. Are you some witch?"

"Some bitch, sumbitch!" she-monster expands the troubling bubble to breaking. Sue's defense drops away painfully. Before beast, she hits her knees and then her face.

"Oy vey, it's Jenny," arriving Thing does recognize She-Hulk, "Jen, I heard about your berserk battles with the Frightful Four and Ultron. Lately, you're acting more like your crazy cousin than your sane self. You're embarrassing yourself."

"I have been embarrassed this very morn. Now, you will be too."

An ashy, huge fist hooks toward Thing's head. A pugilist, he blocks and jabs expertly. His rocky fist crashes into her mug, "I know better than to reason right now. I've been in too many fights with rampaging hulks."

"I'll help," Invisible Woman crawls forth, "Then, we can help both Johnny and Jen."

"No, you won't. Suffer as your brother does!" Null's pawn repossesses the batglider. The glider flies at Sue. Staring death in the horned face, Invisible Woman erects an invisible barrier. Sue's peril distracts Ben momentarily, and Jen's jab decks Grimm savagely. Across green rug, an orange mass skids into the living room. She-Hulk strides to him. Then, the buxom brawler bawls—but not in victory.

Bloodily, two black tentacles burst from She-Hulk's sides. Gorily, another shoots from her back. Aghast, Thing beholds his mutilated friend. In that shocked moment, an intangible tentacle drives through Grimm's chest and wraps around the television behind him. The prehensile limb crashes the exploding, smoking device over his head, temporarily blinding him. Thing throws the console aside. Across the room, She-Hulk stands smiling savagely. She has gathered weapons. From her right, an awful offshoot swings a she-devil's steel sword. From her left, its partner thrusts a burning brass javelin, formerly a floorlamp. From her hind, her devilish tail drives a full oaken bookcase.

Thing's hard hand deflects the sword, "Dammit, Jen! That looks valuable. AAARGH! OOPH!" The white-hot poker arrives—right through Thing's thigh. Immediately post-impalement, the one-ton bookcase splinters upon Thing's chest. The man-monster loses some wind—and some blood.

"That's enough, ugly-anna. You don't hurt my beau Benjy," a red leaper tackles the back tentacle. Instantly, all three tentacles wrap the rear attacker; then, they flip her hard before Gray Goblin. Ms. Marvel handstands off the floor and faces her foe. Thing grits teeth as he pulls the lambent lamp inch-by-inch back out.

Sanguine eyes narrow in a gray face, "You're not She-Thing. You look like regular Sharon Ventura." Evil extensions withdraw into grisly ruptures, which heal instantly. Gray Goblin grows. Sinews and boots crack a bit.

"I'm better than plain ol' Sharon. I'm Ms. Marvel. And, you'll marvel at the beating I deliver," Ms. Marvel flying sidekicks directly toward her swelling foe.

Shockingly, Shary's boot bursts right through behemoth breast, and the heroine's leg is captured as if in a living tarbaby. Grinning maniacally, the ogress yanks and gathers Ventura's strawberry scalp. The savage brings the snack to big teeth and snaps ravenously into the heroine's shoulder. Thing limps to his screaming love's rescue. Null's hound drools tar into the wound. Demonic undeath infects Sharon Ventura's raw flesh.

Thing seizes the she-bitch's ruff from behind and plants his foot upon her back. The colossus pulls back mongrel's head, and teeth rip from Ms. Marvel's shoulderchuck.

Sticky, stanky scarlet blood and black Null trail from growling jaws to opened flesh. Like maggots, Null's tendrils burrow into Shary's skin and muscle. Agonizing, Ben can see them. Agonized, Ms. Marvel rips the roots from her flesh. Scarlet blood and pink muscle spray onto green carpet and white walls. Gasping, Ms. Marvel hits her knees. She collapses shocked.

Hair in hand, Thing spins around Gray Goblin, "Jen! This ends now. It's clobberin' time!"

"No, it's not. It's She-Hulk's time," She-Hulk palm-blocks Thing's powerful jab, "She-Hulk is the strongest one there is. And, goblin juices make her hands quicker."

"Yeah, yeah, Green Goblin had enhanced reflexes," expert grappler Grimm dips his legs. His off-balance opponent topples into his granite headbutt. She releases his hand.

"And, increased cunning," she gouges the eyes in the face now close to hers, "I'll drop you like my cousin Mr. Fixit did recently [see _Incredible Hulk _#350]. You were such a beaten dog that She-Thing and I, the women-folk, had to combat Dragon Man for you [see _Fantastic Four _#321]. You were home lickin' wounds. Well now, She-Hulk's gonna make you lick carpet." Her downward right cross bows Thing floorward. He grabs a nearby recliner and swings it. The former pro wrestler smashes Gray Goblin over the head with a chair. Vexed, the giantess brushes wood and cotton debris aside.

"You hit like a girl," Thing insults, "You wanna box? Let me show you."

"Shit, do you mean like Champion showed y—aaah [see _Marvel Two-in-One Annual _#7]," a ribcracking right hook abuses She-Hulk's still sore side. Immediately, a right uppercut snaps her head and neck.

"Mike Tyson," Ben Grimm names his combo's inspiration, "Jack Murdock." A vicious left cross rattles her fleer. "Jack Johnson." A gutpunch deflates the giantess. She turns green and loses mass. "Joe Louis." Measured jabs jolt and jiggle Jade Giantess.

"And, Champion," an unholy uppercut sends a green blur through the ceiling, "Yeah, he messed me up. But, no offense, Jenny. I hopefully just did the same to you. A hospital stay did me good [see _Marvel Two-in-One _#96]."

"Recuperation would serve most FF members well, Ben," Reed arrives stretching from the library adjacent the parlor.

"Took ya long enough, Stretcho," Thing comments.

"I had a ghosted machine to disrupt and three hurting comrades to stabilize. Sue and Johnny are in catatonic states again—after their Nebula encounter. Your wounded girlfriend is fine," Reed indicates a bloodtrail into the library, "I packed her hemorrhage with good manuscript paper."

"Let's finish this fight. Give me details later," Reed reads Ben's mind. Mr. Fantastic forms a slingshot behind Thing. He flings the rockman upward after She-Hulk. Then, he whips his elongated form after. Above, the fantastic two face the weird one.

But, what did happen just now?

Reed and Sue Richards will recount the pulsepounding tale eventually. The horned glider flies at Invisible Woman. Perhaps, she will not know what hit her. But instead, the steel ram does not know what hit it. An invisible forceshield crashes into the batwing. Ferocious ferrous falls fractured.

"Nicely done, dear. Very effective," Reed compliments arriving. He has rail-thin transport tubes throughout Four Freedoms. Snaking from the ceiling, he faces his shocked lifepartner and teammate.

"The glider is done. But, She-Hulk rampages in our parlor," combat-related crashing accompanies Sue's words on cue

"Jen? Astonishing," Reed seems curious, "How did she enter our impregnable upper stories? Did she hack the elevator electronically?"

"No, she hacked through the window somehow with a sword. She has the powers of Green Goblin, a demon, and her cousin. And, like Bruce, a rage seems to drive her." Sue notices that the glider seemingly quivers a bit.

"Really? Astonishing," Reed ponders, "I suspect mind and matter control at work. A few foes could do this. However, I suspect that She-Hulk could be generating much of this metamorphosis herself. I have a theory about her, you see."

Close-by Gray Goblin, Thing, and Ms. Marvel clamor. Sue in torn gown addresses Reed in uniform, "I'm getting to the living room. Examine what you will. In fact, check downed Johnny." Her slippered foot strides forward over the glider.

"Be careful near that downed glider, darling. I observe that it releases neither smoke nor flame. Normally, a junked jet would. So, what compels that object?"

Suddenly shooting up her straddle, giant stygian claws clap over the golden-robed woman. They envelop their prize. Sue's blood-chilling scream emanates from Null's black billow. Reed rushes forward. Suddenly, a re-assembled glider meets him. From demonic hands, it shoots into the hero's midsection. However, horned steel cannot gore Reed Richards as it once did Norman Osborn. Mister Fantastic's plastic midsection stretches with the impact, and it snaps the ram into the wall hard. The glider shatters again. Then, shockingly, it assembles once more. Flying blurry circles, the goblin-glider wraps Reed's waist and attempts dragging him airborne as it once did Peter Parker (see _Amazing Spider-Man _#39). But, again, the device cannot take its current foe as it has a past one. Mr. Fantastic twists and turns with it easily. Easily, he swings his hips wide with the jet circling. It beelines for the open window in the Richards bedroom. But, it cannot carry Reed outside. He stretches limbs across the corridor and anchors himself thereby. Again, Sue screams. Reed cannot reach her while still fighting the possessed batwing. Then, peripherally, he spots Green Goblin's bag dropped upon the floor. It opens on its own. It fires a pumpkinbomb at the hero.

Mr. Fantastic's eyes widen, "Perfect. That incendiary grenade can melt the damned glider instead of me." The genius superman's rubbery arm deflects the bomb at just the right angle. A fiery explosion blasts the glider into molten slag and ignites Reed and Sue's bedroom. Firefighting foam floods forth from Four Freedoms fixtures.

Mr. Fantastic contracts his waist. The tight cable falls. Sue screams. Reed gathers his wind. Goblin's bag tosses another bomb. A darkly-glowing globe splatters pitch upon Reed's visage. A tarry star covers his eyesight temporarily. He morphs from its facehug. However, startlingly, a cyclopean eye meets the hero's gaze as he pulls the star away. Beyond his battle, Reed sees Sue lying free but unconscious. Abruptly, the devil's eye blasts the head hero in the face. An eldritch bolt makes his psyche swim. Far away, combat clatters from the living room. Thing names great fighters and announces "It's clobberin' time." Already exhausted, the pained and blinded leader closes his lids and falls forward. Null speaks.

Null the Living Darkness speaks to Mr. Fantastic kneeling woozy before him,

"All will become nothing, for Null will become everything. Already, I hook mortals like meat: the beings Mayhem, Poison and her pup, Voodoo, Gray Goblin. Their names represent me. Their bodies, minds, and souls are mine. And, I shall spread my winter fingers over Mother Earth. And, I shall spread death and nothingness over Eternity, the Universe's living embodiment. Plastic man, you have an intellect superior to many mortals. But, even your mind cannot stretch so far as to comprehend me. I am the phantastic, not times four, but times forever." Reed winces. Then, Null withdraws into a whirling dimensional maelstrom suddenly summoned. The demon hides within somewhere or someone.

Reed must care for Sue and Johnny quickly, for he must fight She-Hulk sooner

rather than later. His rationale mind guides him. Calmly and quickly, he cares for fallen Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and, upon discovery, Ms. Marvel. Then, two heroes face the great gray gargantuan goblin. The three wound up upstairs.

Mr. Fantastic and Thing examine She-Hulk where she landed upstairs, in the communications center. Jen Walters looks much smaller and more vulnerable than her alter egos. Her pink body reposes at Thing's orange feet. Her brunette tresses partially conceal a dazed expression.

"This puppy could still bite," Thing pets her locks lightly, "She could vomit peasoup or fart hellfire. I have been in too many fights with the demonically-possessed and rampaging hulks."

Dr. Richards massages sore eyes, "Let us examine her."

"I had enough examining last night," Jen's voice lowers swiftly to a guttural growl. She is awake.

Naturally, Reed does not get the words' reference. But, he does get—in a blink—a huge gray fist sailing toward him. Ben's granite palm catches it loudly. Grimacing, Thing shakes his stinging hand.

Gray Goblin rises to her feet, "An imp sits yet upon my shoulder. Null sits yet within me. And, I deliver his oblivion to you." The hideous hulk rises farther. But, this time, she levitates. From distended maw falls fetid fuliginosity floorward to beneath nasty feet. The fumes are noxious and nauseate the two Fantastic men. Null's odor is the stench of a million S'raphhic deaths. The monster She-Hulk floats as trickster Aarkus did in her dream. The abomination walks upon fluid air. Entranced, she flails gray arms like charcoal tentacles. Her red eyes roll back piceous into her head.

"I am mayhem; I am poison; I am the imp, the beast, the she-devil; I am death; I am Null," speak many voices from but one mouth.

"You are Mayhem, the late vigilante," Mr. Fantastic deduces, "and Poison, the current one. Null dubbed himself 'mayhem' and 'poison' before. And, I observe that you display their powers. Besides late Mayhem, you seem to have deceased Green Goblin and Red Sonja and demonic Null within you as well. Perhaps, we need summon Brother Voodoo to remove your possession."

The hanging horror snickers, "Jericho Drumm. Yes, get him here." The sarcastic sibyl fires dark lightning behind her into Thing sneaking toward her ankles. Her bolt resembles Green Goblin's. Grimm grits with monstrous endurance. Like Mayhem, she slashes Mr. Fantastic as he stretches upward toward her. Even his durable skin yields to the witchy claw. And, in agony, he falls, his scratched chest burns and bubbles. His strong mind tries conquering his pain, but his body still throws his limbs about wildly flailing. Gray Goblin has the two heroes in her hellfire.

Null's priestess intones over captives, "I sacrifice you to the abyss. I sacrifice you to an elder god. Your physical world and science are but sound and madness. Null is the reality. Doubt and nonsense are the reality. Despair and death are the reality. All things are the Living Darkness. Abandonment is the reality. The Fantastic Four abandoned me to the Frightful Four and the four Russian apes. You could have helped my beleaguered being. Instead, you ignored. May Null drag you into the same personal hells as the Storms and I suffer."

From below, from whence demoniac came, krakenite tentacles wrap about Thing and Mr. Fantastic. Thing has strength like a mountain, but he cannot hold firmament as the limb drags him. His very feet crumble like sandstone and erode bit-by-bit before his shocked eyes. Before his shocked eyes, his legs shatter like porcelain after the strongman falls. Beneath him, he feels first degenerating torso-rock, then brutally peeling humanskin, then agonizingly ripping exposed-muscle. Mr. Fantastic suffers similar agony. Dragged backwards, he elongates his arms toward an anchor. But, startlingly, the arms lose all firmness. The distended members droop and dribble down; then, they drop and pour upon the ground like soaked clay. Before his shocked eyes, they entirely detach upon the floor.

Mr. Fantastic is not only malleable—but melting. His legs fall off. Within the demon's grip, the limbless torso disperses. Liquefied flesh flows off bone. Bone disintegrates. Entrails and organs trail over ground. Reed's eyes roll back into a dribbling, melting face. Mr. Fantastic and Thing are dragged to hell. Null whips them into the chasm. Two gory smears mark the communication room carpet.

Within Null's being, fallen heroes have no form. But, they can witness and listen amidst a tumult of fallen S'raphh in the turgid darkness. Null gloats once more, "I am Null the Living Darkness. And, you are but flies pestering a god of death. Light and life are limited and brief in the cosmos. Yet, nothingness and death are endless and eternal.

And, I shall rule this Earth as Null once ruled another. Its heroes Squadron Supreme could not conquer me. Neither their allies nor the Ghost Rider could vanquish Null. Neither supreme necromancer Brother Voodoo nor the swamp-god could halt the Living Darkness. Neither champions the Fantastic Four nor the She-Hulk can stand against Death manifest. She-Hulk has been but a dark bud upon my branch. But, I withdraw a

finger for now. For, a champion of champions arrives soon. Soon, the darkness gathered, my phalanges invade all beings at my whim. For now, deal with but the she-monster's inner demons."

Null departs. As he withdraws, pitch murk, demonwind, evil-death, corrupt calignosity blast from She-Hulk's pores, tresses, sockets, nostrils, mouth, fingertips, clothing. She howls. The two avengers find themselves re-assembled. But, both lie momentarily in shock upon the living room carpet. Mr. Fantastic cannot gather his wits. Thing cannot resiliently rise. She-Hulk rattles the floor upon which she lands. The ordeal is not over. Even bereft of Null, She-Hulk has her inner demons. She has the Incredible Hulk's burning, berserk eyes. She has Green Goblin's distorted, sadistic grin. Savage She-Hulk is Jen Walters's basest id incarnate.

"Grrrimm," gray gravel-throat growls, "Any Hulk can take you down. Because, we do something better than you, pumpkin."

"Oh, big mouth? What?" Thing wobbles to his feet.

"We leap better than anyone," the slate mass launches toward trembling Thing. Unbelievably, both shatter through the shatterproof window of the living room. Huge gray giantess rides huge orange ogre, and they plummet groundward. She smiles as they drop through empty air. He groans in her bearhug. She-Hulk has conquered the Fantastic Four. Her eyes gleam in the dawn as her mind imagines the horrid impact upon Thing. Perhaps, he will actually fragment after fifty stories. Then, he surprises her.

He mumbles through the whistling wind, "We Fantastic Four do something better than you gamma-girls. We outthink, outmaneuver, and outlast foolish foes."

The grappler grabs about the hulk's hips, outflanking her. He twists her beneath his great form. Abruptly, hard earth and water meet the falling titans. Gravel and spray erupt about the two. Both lie damaged and unconscious.

Two figures approach the ones in the fractured fountain at Four Freedoms's foot.

"So, Mr. Powers, what now? You have been residing near She-Hulk recently. You have been keeping an eye on her," an unshaven dark-haired man states.

Beside him, a mammoth man expounds, "I have a million names, and one is Budd Powers. He is the most recent one that I have assumed. He saved a village long ago [see _USA Comics _#5]. And, I wished to save a village recently [see _Marvel Comics Presents _#40]. However, upon advice of the Chorus, the psychics within my own psyche, I have returned to New York City to protect the world from a threat that they and I know too well. And, I have taken residence near She-Hulk to do so [see _Sensational She-Hulk _#4]. I have taken a ninety-nine year lease, a short period for an eternal. However, these two will not live long if we let them drown." Then, astoundingly, he drags five-hundred pound Thing easily to dry pavement.

"I shall rescue the green gal," the first man wades to her and cradles a sizable limp form, "She breaths."

"Please gently bring Ben and Jen inside," Mr. Fantastic is a parachute arriving from above, "I shall examine them. And, I would like to hear what you have to say."

In the medical bay, five heroes convalesce. Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and Thing sit dazed in chairs. Nearby lie conscious Ms. Marvel and unconscious She-Hulk. Mr. Fantastic converses with the group's two unexpected guests. Within Four Freedoms Plaza, Defenders Devil-Slayer and Overmind stand revealed.

Mr. Fantastic explicates, "I admit to knowing the Defenders only so well. Appropriately, your group addresses supernatural threats such as those encountered this morning. Awhile back, I aided Defenders Dr. Strange and Beast with such a threat [see _Defenders _#105]. The Fantastic Four and I encountered Devil-Slayer and the Defenders at Captain Mar-Vell's funeral. Reasonably, I trust Devil-Slayer well-enough.

However, you Overmind, have been a great threat to the Fantastic Four and to the world. You attempted once to overthrow Earth's governments. You mind-controlled me in your attempt [see _Fantastic Four _116]. You take more faith to trust. And, I do not rely upon faith, but rather reason. So, present your claims, facts, and logic, Grom."

Grom the Overmind explains in calm baritone, "At our first encounter's end, cosmic power Stranger banished me to the Microverse where an Eyungian champion could do no harm supposedly. However, just as the Eyungians found me a vehicle for their conquests so did the evil entity Null. He had found Earth-S, home to Squadron Supreme [see _Defenders _#112-114] after Ghost Rider drove him from this Earth's plane [see _Ghost Rider _#71]."

"We Defenders had vanquished Null shortly before Ghost Rider did," interrupts Devil-Slayer (see _Defenders _#103).

Overmind continues, "On Earth-S, Null and I overtook the entire planet and its Squadron Supreme, save for Hyperion. Hyperion sought help on Earth-616. The Defenders and allies Vision and Scarlet Witch rescued Earth-S and placed the six Psychics, the Chorus, within my mind. Seemingly, the Psychics destroyed Null. They reached the suffering S'raphh souls within him, and the S'raphhs' lost inner goodness and light dissipated dark Null apparently forever. Thanks to the Chorus, I had a new life purpose to save the sentient everywhere. I joined the Defenders and helped build a better world. Then, I left the Defenders to distressed starchild Cloud against the Star Thief [see _Defenders _#150]. Afterward, the Psychics brought me to a New Hampshire village to salve the suffering of a populace sickened by toxins [see _Marvel Comics Presents _#40]. However, the Psychics continually sensed their foe Null active again.

The Chorus shared their telecognition with me. In Miami, Null visited Cuban refugee Cecilia Cardinale who was dying. She died. However, Null re-animated her. He dubbed his possessed puppet aptly Poison, for she wore a noxious effluvium of Null's being. In New York, Null visited desperate policewoman Brigid O'Rielly at her death. He re-animated her and dubbed her Mayhem. She too wore his noxious aura. And, when she died again, Null re-animated Mayhem again when Brother Voodoo arrogantly sought to resurrect her. Even a houngan supreme can fall before an arch-demon and his thousand damned souls. Null claimed both Mayhem and Brother Voodoo. Mercifully, Spider-Man has destroyed Mayhem's much-abused shell since. Recently, in Citrusville, Poison gave Null his most dangerous foothold yet. She sent an evil S'raphh, Ylandris, into the Nexus of Reality ["A Plague of Villains," _New York, New York I_]. The guardian of the Nexus Man-Thing may not have the power to conquer the Living Darkness."

"But, what brings you here today, Overmind?" Mr. Fantastic broaches, "How did Null contaminate She-Hulk?"

"Null violated She-Hulk's psyche but lately. I have probed her mind as seemed appropriate in this crisis. The recent mutation had two stages. Not long ago, She-Hulk fought Rhino in the Queens-Midtown Tunnel. During combat, an Osborn Industries tanker wrecked and bathed her in waste. Soon after, she manifested a new fiercer identity against the Frightful Four. Soon after that, she opposed Null's pawns Machine Man and Amb. Jericho Drumm, Brother Voodoo, at the UN. During this conflict, She-Hulk humiliated Drumm. And, he swore revenge. As revenge, he planted Null subconsciously into She-Hulk's vulnerable psyche while she slept. In turn, by Voodoo's designs, she encountered Red Ghost and his Super-Apes. And, they humiliated Jen further. Afterward, She-Hulk brought her anger upon the Fantastic Four."

"I remember the Midtown battle. She-Hulk and Rhino brawled as they had done at this Earth's Project: Pegasus [see _Avengers _#237] and at the Earth-57780 NYC courthouse [see _Spidey Super-Stories _#50]," Reed Richards ponders, "But, please know that I doubt that the tunnel accident caused these recent Goblin transformations."

Overmind raises an interjecting hand, "She created the Goblin persona psychosomatically. I know that Doc Samson and you discussed her transformations after her SHIELD adventure [see _Marvel Graphic Novel _#18]. At that time, she could apparently not return to her Jen Walters identity."

Reed raises his interjecting hand, "Or, she would not. I found nothing medically or chemically amiss. She should have been able to assume human form. However, Doc Samson suggested that She-Hulk could not change because 'deep down' she did not want to. Yet, both doctors acknowledged that external factors could [mess] She-Hulk's transformation. For example, Radioactive Man's radiation suppressed her green side once [see _Avengers _#228] I shall examine her thoroughly for chemical contamination."

"And, I for psychological demons," Overmind nods.

The scientist and psychic begin their work. First, Ms. Marvel and Invisible Woman strip the giantess and dress her in an exam gown. Later, at high noon, dazed She-Hulk awakens briefly. Her face and body ache horribly as her healing factor labors at injuries. She feels pain in her arm from which a line trails. She feels the cold down her exposed spine and upon her bare feet. It resembles the museum. She swoons.

"Unfortunately, I have had to sedate Jen for everyone's safety—including hers. Hopefully, we can detach intravenous medicines from her system soon," Mr. Fantastic updates Overmind and Devil-Slayer in a conference room during the afternoon.

"Have you found other drugs in her system?" Devil-Slayer queries. He remembers loved ones affected by substance abuse.

"No, as anticipated, She-Hulk's fluids contain no traces of mutagens beyond her gamma-altered blood," Reed Richards turns to Overmind, "I suspect that her troubles are psychological. We have mentioned that possibility today. And, before today, psychiatrist Leonard Samson and I have discussed mental issues that affect She-Hulk's transformations. Unfortunately, Doc Samson operates in South Carolina right now [see _Incredible Hulk _#369-370]. Otherwise, we could consult him. Leonard and I resolved that Jen must sort her psyche on her own with our gentle encouragement [see _She-Hulk _#11]. In the same vein, our present conversation will be initially private. She-Hulk receives select information later."

"Fair enough," states Overmind, "Please hear my findings provided via Eyungian powers and Chorus Psychics.

Null has left her completely. He could use her again for a gateway, potentially. Even after departure, Null has affinity with the possessed. For example, I sense him easily still. However, from this sense, I can confirm that Null has completely left Four Freedoms Plaza—for now."

"I confirm the same. And, trust me. I can sense the demonic," Devil-Slayer adds.

"Typical. Always, the villain will return," Mr. Fantastic acknowledges cannily.

"Null is everlasting evil," Grom nods grimly, "However, Gray Goblin is gone—for now. The Chorus probed Jen's sub-conscious. The Gray Hulk and Green Goblin identities are suppressed deeply."

Reed nods, "She-Hulk's psyche fabricated an identity; then, her mutable body made it manifest."

Overmind concurs with genius, "Exactly. The Osborn tanker merely suggested something to She-Hulk. It did not chemically contaminate her. Rather, it did so psychologically. The Chorus's Mindy Williams—a mental patient in life—diagnoses Jen Walters with an underlying inferiority complex."

"Samson and I found the same," Dr. Richards states, "Was her Gray Goblin form an attempt for greater, compensating power?"

"You are a true clinician," Overmind compliments, "Yes, she became another Goblin. But, by her own power. Not the Osborns'. Mindy postulates that Jen needs to prove herself to her father and to all men."

"She chatted often about that while a Fantastic Four member," Mr. Fantastic scratches his chin, "Her father is an LA lawman. Since West Coast days, She-Hulk has sought to prove herself to him."

"Feminine empowerment seems to guide the Jade Giantess. Allow me to present my findings and insights," Devil-Slayer presents Red Sonja's sword, "This blade is legendary. Its original wielder is legend. The indomitable wielder was the She-Devil with a Sword. She was Red Sonja. Red Sonja was the mightiest woman-warrior of the Hyborian Era, twelve thousand years ago. And, She-Hulk and Sonja share a slightly similar experience after last night. Grom found some images in memory during his mind probe.

Red Sonja gained her prowess after ravagement. She-Hulk experienced something similar last night. The goddess Scathach visited exposed, angry Sonja just as Sonja visited exposed, angry Jen."

Superman Reed Richards frowns.

Eric Payne continues, "This is not the only time Sonja's sword has transformed a woman in that very museum. Spider-Man and an unidentified lass fought Kulan Gath with Red Sonja's help once [see _Marvel Team-Up _#79]."

Mr. Fantastic recognizes, "I remember Kulan Gath. All of Manhattan does. His powers were substantial [see _Uncanny X-Men _190_-_191]."

"In both cases, the swordbearer gained her own phallus after an assault and her own means to making men bleed. So note the Chorus," Overmind says matter-of-factly.

"Who needs Doc Samson?" former mental patient Devil-Slayer quips.

"We shall require many heroes before all is done," states staid Grom, "We Defenders shall pursue Null in New York and Florida where he has manifested himself. We shall visit Poison and Man-Thing and Brother Voodoo and all those whom the Living Darkness affects."

Devil-Slayer stands. He spreads the Shadow-Cloak, "Florida is our best first point-of-attack. Let us remove Null's limbs in Miami and Citrusville before destroying him here in Manhattan."

Overmind enters the cloak. Before teleporting, he departs Reed Richards, "I imagine that the Fantastic Four will inform She-Hulk and the other Fantastic Four what each need know. Godspeed."

Richards knits brows, "So, you know?" Two defenders of the good disappear.

Later, as dusk arrives, She-Hulk sits slightly sweaty before five teammates. She sits gowned on a table in the medical bay. Reed sits on a doctor's stool at her knee. He stretches to look her in the eye. Sue, Ben, and Sharon hold the virago in concerned gazes. Johnny's gaze seems off into space with his enchantress Nebula.

Jen looks Reed in the eye, "So, my powers are as usual? We have checked them here and in the gym. And, my system shows no chemical contamination?"

"Affirmative and affirmative," her friend assures her, "I can confirm a clean physical bill-of-health."

"However, the magical without or psychological within could be affecting me. Perhaps, I should speak with Doc Samson. Perhaps, this gray hulk manifests my Jungian darkside, my Freudian id," She-Hulk scratches her chin.

Knowingly, Mr. Fantastic nods, "You might want to consult him."

"You Banners and your ids," Thing shakes his head.

Sue touches Jen's arm lightly, "The telepath Overmind examined your mind as we've told you. He predicted no further troubles. So, rest assured. Still, despite Defender membership, Overmind has been an odd character. Sometimes, the hero. Sometimes, the villain. Consider having Agatha Harkness or Jean Grey explore your pysche."

Jen returns the gesture, "The Fantastic Four are great judges of character. Including that they give presently the benefit of the doubt to me. This girl shall redeem herself for recent awful actions"

"You're like family, Jenny," Ben pats her pate affectionately. Then, four colleagues give her space.

Mr. Fantastic looks into her eyes, "Brother Voodoo is a hypnotist. He could have influenced your recent actions."

She-Hulk deliberates, "I had troubles before encountering Voodoo at the UN. But, who knows how long the necromancer's machinations have occurred? Who knows how long Null has been active? For my sanity, I shall not overly worry about the recent past.

I do know two things. I do know that Gray Goblin sensed Drumm's evil spirit during the UN brawl. However, sometimes, my cousin senses spirits. I do know that Voodoo cursed me in a dream. Probably, he sought revenge for the earlier humiliation. He disguised himself as a Vision. He is quite the mentalist."

"We all shall watch-out for Voodoo and Null," Invisible Woman resolves, "Presently, the Defenders pursue them. Soon, the Fantastic Four and their allies will too."

"We'll need the right allies for the job. We're fighting magic, not science fiction, here," Thing explains plans, "Before we strike, Voodoo and Null should reveal themselves and their plans more. They should be rats out in the open. Plus, Drumm shouldn't be able to hide behind diplomatic immunity. We should just wait before clobberin' 'em."

"I am glad that we're family," She-Hulk rises to dress and depart.

Later, in the night, Mr. Fantastic sighs, "I am glad that She-Hulk departed. We are not exactly her family."

"I heard ya, bigbrain," Thing readies the timesled, "You think that this Earth ain't our own and that we've switched with Earth-616's Fantastic Four [see _Fantastic Four _#343]. I agree. She-Hulk mentioned a She-Thing today. That ain't right."

"We are Earth-9061 in the multiverse. At home, the Thing remains rocky, and Ms. Marvel remains human in appearance. Here, the opposite rings true," Reed states.

"We need to return to Earth-9061. Our Avengers are in serious trouble, and Stalin threatens our 1990. Here, thank goodness, Stalin is dead," Sue buckles-up in the sled, "You left complete notes as Reed-616 no doubt left for you [see _Fantastic Four _#344]. Let us depart."

On Earth-9061, one fantastic quartet arrives as Earth-616's departs. However, the departing Fantastic Four do not arrive home immediately. The Navy brings them home later after a Dinosaur Island adventure (see _Fantastic Four _#346). During their absence, certain notes burned on a table and disappear from a computer. Perhaps, a strand of black smoke lingers afterward. . . . Still, Overmind, Devil-Slayer, and She-Hulk know, somewhat, what has occurred.

Chagrined, She-Hulk returns to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to face the music. Director Phillip Bello meets with She-Hulk and DA Tower's representative Louise Mason to discuss security tapes recording robbery, destruction, and indecency. She-Hulk feels shame for what she did and embarrassment for what was done to her.

Weezi takes the hand of the Amazon seated beside her, "Jen is an Avenger and heroine. She does not deserve these tapes' release whether to media or to authorities who must release public records to media later. Please destroy these video documents."

"The tapes will be kept safe," Bello understands the situation honorably, "Let us catalog damaged artifacts and determine next best actions."

She-Hulk sighs, "You have again Green Goblin's costume and Red Sonja's sword. Tragically, the battle damaged Sir Steel's sword and armor, Silver Squire's flail and shield, Bernini's _Bacchanal_, a di Cosino painting, and two van Goghs. They are priceless, unique objects. Damage Control cannot simply repair them. Rather, they require supernatural repair. Therefore, I have contacted fellow Avenger Sersi, an Eternal. The Eternals are a godlike race capable of miraculous matter manipulation. In-turn, Sersi has contacted Phastos, the Eternal equivalent of Hephaustus. Perhaps, he can make everything right."


	8. Chapter 8: Nullipara

**Chapter 8: Nullipara**

Dr. Leonard Samson reads _The Daily Bugle_ in the hospital waiting area. Englewood Hospital is very quiet in the middle of the night. The paper provides coverage local and national. A new Ghost Rider motors Brooklyn's streets, and the alien Silver Surfer visits Manhattan (see _Silver Surfer Annual _#3). In the editorial, J. Jonah Jameson comments on the recent attack upon Four Freedoms Plaza, and the newsman warns that a supernatural menace threatens New York City. In Los Angeles, Avengers aid recovery after an earthquake caused by ambitious villain Vibro (see _West Coast Avengers _#58). In South Carolina, a Hulk sighting has occurred. This article captures Doc Samson's greatest interest. Apparently, Hulk and three mutants conflicted, and their conflict nearly leveled a town (see _Incredible Hulk_ #369). As always, Hulk needs Samson's attention, and the dedicated doctor formulates future plans. He resolves to visit South Carolina immediately.

However, the good doctor cannot pack and depart immediately. He needs to be here in Leonia, New Jersey, too. Like Bruce Banner, patient Lorrie Melton needs Samson strongly. Like Bruce Banner's situation, hers is a very unusual case to which Samson seeks to bring some normalcy. Therefore, colleagues and he examine her this night. Xenobiologist Armand Martel is one of those colleagues, and he stops before Samson presently. The psychiatrist looks up at the coffee-stained teeth in the sweaty gleaming face beneath the shining pate.

The scientist tells him, "Come, Leonard. We have Ms. Melton's medical results to discuss."

Doc Samson strolls with his Hulkbuster associate toward a conference room. No doubt, Dr. Josie Marino awaits within. The psychiatrist invited the noted obstetrician too. His patient Lorrie Melton is pregnant by—God knows what. Possibly, the father is Curt Connors, the Lizard, famous monster. Martel and Marino seem appropriate consultants. Hulkbuster Martel has dealt with all manner of weirdness. OB-GYN Marino helped Dr. Strange deliver Scarlet Witch and Vision's children, the offspring of a mutant and an android, right here in Englewood Hospital. The two gentlemen enter the conference room. Marino is at a chalkboard, and she looks befuddled. Samson does not see the assistant that Martel brought with him. If Doc recalls, Dawn Starr was her name. The name "dawn star" might mean something interesting, or it might not. Perhaps, she is secretly a superbeing with light powers. Perhaps, the Starr family simply christened their daughter logically.

Perceptive, Martel mentions, "Dawn is with Lorrie in the exam room down the hall. We doctors are going to pow-wow first; then, we can meet with our patient. In the meantime, Dawn keeps Miss Melton company and attends to her needs."

Marino assures the psychiatrist about his patient's mental health, "Lorrie is holding-up well emotionally. She has been through a lot, but she shows a certain fortitude."

Samson nods and takes a seat. Mentally, he reviews this uncommon case. Lorrie Melton has not had a typical life. Odd early experiences have led to progressively more bizarre ones. Growing up, Lorrie was a tomboy pursuing an atypical social role for her gender. The young lady was an expert mechanic frequenting the autotracks of New Jersey. One evening, Lorrie met car enthusiast Johnny Storm at the Independence raceway. Storm was also the Human Torch, of course. The two began a relationship. Lorrie and Johnny were a partially functional couple; he even invited her to the Fantastic Four Christmas party (see _Marvel Two-in-One _#74). However, their relationship also brought some pandemonium with it. Melton encountered a possessed Franklin Richards—twice. She encountered the Ebon Seeker and Stygorr the Nightlord, both of whom nearly ended the world. With love and regret, Lorrie Melton left Human Torch and sought a quieter life. She did not find one. One day, former FFer She-Hulk and Rhino battled in the Queens-Midtown Tunnel when Lorrie just wanted to commute home. Rhino flipped her car. The injured Melton abused pain meds. Eventually, the addict rehabbed with the organization Save our Society. Clandestinely, Save our Society was run-by super-villain Tyrannus who turned Melton into a Serpent-person. Perhaps, he knew who she was. After that experience, Melton wound-up with Dr. Samson. From his care, an unidentified assailant—possibly Lizard—kidnapped her. The kidnapper and she mated. Samson brings her here tonight for obstetric examination.

"Leonard," Armand gets Samson's attention, "Before we cover tonight's findings, I must ask something. How thoroughly have you physically examined Ms. Melton?"

"Well, I am a psychiatrist, not a gynecologist," Samson crosses his arms, "She reported the pregnancy to me. I assumed that she had some proof of her state. In conversation, she reported amenorrhea and some quickening. I noticed abdominal distention typical of pregnancy. However, I have not paid overly-close attention to her pregnancy's progress. The conception was atypical. Therefore, the gestation would not necessarily progress in the usual manner. Her odd circumstances led me to bring her to you guys. What things have you two found?"

"Well, it's what we have not found, doctor," Marino reveals, "We have not found any baby developing within Lorrie Melton."

"We have found pseudocyesis," Martel states, "Our patient has a false pregnancy. Both an ultrasound and a pelvic exam indicate such. Neither Dr. Marino nor I hear a heartbeat in her womb. However, as you note, Ms. Melton reports feeling quickening, fetal movement, occasionally."

"Have you told Lorrie the diagnosis yet? Perhaps, I should break the news to her. I am her psychiatrist and her friend," Dr. Samson worries for his patient.

Dr. Josefina Marino nods grimly, "Dr. Martel and I think as you do. A mental health professional should inform of her diagnosis. Although, I should be present to review the examination's physical findings. I am a woman."

Samson sighs, "Pseudocyesis does not completely surprise me. The condition is very rare, but psychogenic disease can cause it. Certainly, Lorrie Melton has had her sanity pushed to its limits. A mental breakdown could manifest itself in a grand display of psychosomatic disease such as hysterical pregnancy. Also, hormone imbalance can cause pseudocyesis. Certainly, a former drug addict and serpent-person might suffer the physiological alteration necessary for anatomical change. Afterall, a serpent-person is a metamorphed standard human being. Pseudocyesis would but exemplify another change in such a person."

"Hormonal imbalance triggers pseudocyesis often enough in the animal world. Therefore, a formerly reptilian person might suffer it," biologist Martel contributes.

Samson adds, "Furthermore, animal pheromones could play a role in this bizarre case. I remember the day that some strange creature drew Lorrie away and apparently impregnated her. She reported smelling something odd in the air just before she ran-off. Possibly, pheromones were speaking to her, and her body chemistry altered appropriately."

Martel adds, "The Lizard, your prime suspect, controls others telepathically. Therefore. . . . ."

"Gentlemen, the phantom of Lorrie's phantom pregnancy can wait," Josie Marino gets her male colleagues back on-track, "Her current needs are more immediate. Before heading down the hall, let's plan our exact conversation with our patient." Samson gets back on topic for the dear patient.

Down the hall, aide Dawn Starr offers patient Lorrie Melton some water. Lorrie tips back the papercup. On the exam table's edge, she kicks her paperslippers and adjusts her hospital gown. She has a haggard composure.

Dawn takes the empty Dixie, "So, how are you doing? How do you think that the baby is doing?"

Lorrie touches her middle and smiles slightly, "My pregnancy is early yet. However, I can feel that the baby is doing just fine." Dawn smiles broadly and seems glad.

The aide throws the cup into the trash, and she stands on the other side of the room. Starr beams at Melton, "Good, I can tell that family matters greatly to you. Drs. Martel and Marino will take good care of you and your arriving family."

The mother chortles, "Well, family matters to most everyone." Melton suspects that Starr likes to tell people what they like to hear (see _Amazing Spider-Man _#204-205).

"Yeah, me too," the sunny blonde continues. She lifts a duffel bag from the floor and places it upon a counter. It says Empire State University on the side. The sober ravenhair observes that the duffel cloth outside defines a rectangular box within. Within the sack, something might be scratching and stirring. But, she is unsure. The room's lights buzz. Dawn's shoes tap toward the door. Faintly, Lorrie hears the door locking perhaps. But, she is unsure.

The unsure woman makes conversation, "I would love to have a strong family. I would love to have trustworthy people around me. But, I don't always have that."

"Go on," Starr slips toward the mysterious bag.

"Well, when I grew-up, my dad was a good dad. But, he raised me like a son when I was—of course—his daughter," Lorrie recounts, "In adulthood, Johnny Storm was a good boyfriend. He and I bonded well. We had—mostly—the same approach to life. Who knows where things would have went? However, he had a demanding, bizarre family already. I did not quite fit in with people who knew the Puppet Master and combatted Diablo. I left the Fantastic Four as a friend—not the next family member."

"I know about weird families. My family is a little unusual too," Dawn shares. Her eyes meet Melton's while her hands unzip the strange bag.

Lorrie's eyes watch Dawn's hands, "How's that?"

Dawn manipulates something unseen—as of yet—in the duffel. Starr has a cheerful twinkle in her eye, "Well, they might even know Puppet Master too."

"Oh?" Lorrie shifts nervously upon her seat. Her anxiety is welling up. She hears clearly something stirring in the bag. Nurse Starr holds steady some wriggling thing in the bag. Her lips move, "I am Dawn Starr, Empire State graduate assistant. I work with Dr. Armand Martel after Prof. Peter Parker suspected me of academic dishonesty. My father is Aaron Starr, the big corporate lawyer [see _Fantastic Four _v.#3 #1]. My cousin is Trish Starr. You might know her. She hung around Defender Nighthawk, Avenger Hank Pym, and Defender and Avenger the Incredible Hulk."

"Her name rings a bell," Lorrie admits. Other bells are ringing for the pregnant woman watching her keeper. Starr struggles to keep something in the bag.

"You will know my uncle Elihas Starr. He was the late great criminal Egghead," Dawn raises finally the ominous thing from the duffel. It is—a lizard. It is a large iguana. The animal thrashes a bit. It falls to the countertop and freezes. Then, the beast merely beholds Melton and sits very, very still.

The beauty is not staying still. She hops off the exam table away from the stirrups and the rails. Lorrie stares down Starr slightly, "What does funny uncle Egghead have to do with anything?"

"Do you see this iguana?" Dawn indicates the ogling beast.

"You know that I do," Lorrie replies.

"Uncle Elihas liked iguanas too," affectionate fingers stroke creature, "In fact, he once terrorized Trish's buddy Hank Pym with one. You see, Uncle Elihas drew Ant-Man into a terrible trap in which an iguana lizard nearly consumed Ant-Man [see "The Terrible Traps of Egghead," _Tales to Astonish_ #45]."

"Why do you have an iguana?" Lorrie thinks about traps.

Dawn discloses, "Because I am a serpent-person like you are. I have herpetophilia and homosexual ophidiophilia. I like reptiles and female snakes sexually. That's why I impregnated you, my fellow serpent-person, as two female reptiles can do. We bumped cloacae in the sewer."

"Bullshit," Lorrie declares, "You're a bullshitter. You're a lizard in a woman's skin with your mind in the gutter. I'll give you that. But, I can be sneaky myself. See."

Suddenly, Lorrie's hand ignites a bright exam light into Dawn's eyes. Dawn hisses and squints. The iguana springs from the counter and drops audibly to the floor. Lorrie charges the ultrasound cart forward into Starr's middle. Starr's back slams into the counter behind her. The pugnacious patient sends a right jab into the naughty nurse's puss and stuns her.

The Jersey girl presses, "I come from pretty tough people. Start telling me the truth, little girl. What do you really want? And, do you know anything about my pregnancy? Do you know the father?"

"I told you. I screwed you. I want to be my uncle Egghead," the wicked niece grins, "To that end, I got myself a lizard or two. That way, I can carry-on Uncle Elihas's family tradition. To start, I made you family." The iguana audibly scurries away behind a counter. Melton does not care. She will find and kill Starr's pet if she has to.

Lorrie slaps Dawn, "I'm not your bitch! I'm getting Doc Samson in here. As shrink or superhero, he'll make you talk."

Starr insists, "I did get myself a lizard. He found him on the Empire State campus soon after Prof. Parker dumped me as a lab assistant. That lizard over there found me, consoled me, and promised riches. In return, he only demanded that I get close to Dr. Curt Connors."

Melton scoffs, "How did the iguana talk to you?"

"Telepathically," the Iguana answers.

Lorrie's gaze darts to the corner. The sight shocks her. The lizard stands upon its backlegs like a circus poodle. And, seemingly, it is smiling. Before shocked eyes, the lizard grows to twice its original length. Like a mad scientist, Dawn Starr cackles as her monster rises. Lorrie Melton punches her out cold. Egghead's niece has a great fall.

Towering over Melton, Iguana stands six-four with a five-foot tail. He flicks his long tongue. Then, his huge hands seize her shoulders. Lorrie knows to scream so that strong Samson might hear her. But, she doesn't get the chance. Iguana's burning eyes seize her own. They hypnotize her in an instant. Iguana's captured prey stands starkly frozen. Cold hands hold her shoulders. Cold breath whispers in her ear. Cold caudal creeps down the expecting's exposed spine and bottom in the scant gown. Cold-blooded beast has her in his clutches.

Outside the exam room, Drs. Samson and Marino approach. Samson sighs, "Josie, some psych patients lead tough lives for their entire lives. However, I have hope for Lorrie Melton."

Abruptly, the exam room door splinters thunderously outward. A quarter-ton monster stands in the frame. It roars. Promptly, Doc Samson rushes the Iguana. The iguana bobs its head and raises its tail. The terrible tail swings at Samson, but it just misses his face when he stops wisely short. In a flash, the champion seizes the mighty member. The horror howls. With Herculean muscles, the hero swings the creature by its terrible tail. He hurls the creature through one wall then another then another then another.

Samson brags, "I knew that he would start with that tail attack. My foe Viperus fights the same way [see _Incredible Hulk _#253]."

"I didn't know that you had a rogues' gallery. Hulk does," Marino pushes past the hyperion, "You check on the monster. I'll check on Lorrie and Dawn. Go!"

Samson rushes forward through the broken plaster. Dust-covered, Iguana rises and snarls. Samson slams into him like the Rhino, the hero's recurrent foe. Blitzing, Doc Samson tackles Iguana and wraps him up. Unchecked momentum crashes the monster through another wall. The two titans fall three stories onto an asphalt parking lot. The Iguana is stunned, but Samson is not hurting a bit. His left hand grabs Iguana, and his right fist smashes face. Then, powerhouse arms bodyslam Iguana into the pavement two feet.

"Stay down, ugly," Doc Samson instructs, "My superhuman strength surpasses your own—by a lot."

"I am not ugly. I am evolution's next stage, mammal! I am Iguana!" the brute brags.

"Yeah well, I would call you Horny Toad, you suspected rapist," Samson retorts.

Iguana glares up at Samson face. He attempts to use his mesmerism once more.

The master of might and mind simply laughs, "I figured that you had some sort of hypno-vison. You used it on me once before in the sewers. Sometimes, the Leader fights the same way. Sometimes, I use hypnosis on the Hulk. Mesmerism isn't going to get this psychiatrist superhero."

Suddenly, Samson realizes that no fallen foe lies before him. He blinks a few times. He realizes that hypno-vision works on him sometimes afterall. Heedfully, he awaits Iguana's suckerpunch. But no, the creature is gone. Leonard Samson shakes his head, "At least I got a name. Iguana. When back from South Carolina, I shall research this Iguana."

"I can fill you in," Armand Martel surprises Samson. He snuck-up on him.

"You know Iguana, do you? Is he actually Curt Connors in a further mutated state?" Doc inquires.

"No, he is not. But, he is a Connors creation [see _Spectacular Spider-Man _#32-34]. Over the years, Dr. Connors has played Dr. Frankenstein quite a few times," smirking Martel elucidates upon a colleague.

Dr. Samson states, "You can tell me more after we check-on Lorrie and Dawn."

From obstetrics, Dr. Marino takes Melton and Starr to emergency. Overnight staff treats them there. Lorrie and Dawn are disoriented and dizzy. They lack memories of recent events. The ER interns diagnose apparent concussions. Dr. Samson is not so sure. He suspects hypnosis. He sighs. He shall have to do more therapy. Deviant Dawn just smiles. Her creature did not hypnotize her. She is simply an evil mastermind faking brain damage while plotting her next nefarious move.

Doc Samson's next move is a trip to South Carolina (see _Incredible Hulk _# 370). While Leonard packs, Armand explains the Iguana's history. Awhile back, Curt Connors had a machine called the Enervator and a lab animal called Iggy. In theory, the Enervator would remove Dr. Connors's ferocious Lizard side forever. For research, Iggy the Iguana would be a test subject. However, as often happens, the extraordinary experiment went awry. The mad science created a reptilian humanoid with Lizard's physical attributes and some new abilities: the Incredible Iguana, savage and rampaging. Teaming-up, Spider-Man and Lizard opposed the impertinent animal-man. They removed Iggy's special attributes and returned him to normal form. The little lizard got away into the sewer system, however.

"I want Dr. Marino to discuss pseudocyesis with Lorrie," Samson tells Martel, "I want you to monitor Dr. Connors. Possibly, Iguana and Lizard with have dealings again soon. I can only address so many green monsters at one time. The Hulk operates in South Carolina currently. I must travel down the Atlantic coast before returning to crises here. Good luck, Armand."

"Good luck, Leonard."


	9. Chapter 9: Die! Love, Haiti (Pt 1)

**Chapter 9: Die, America! Love, Haiti (Part One)**

Thunderheads loom. Eric Payne sees them with eyes stung by sweat dripping down his face. Citrusville is brutally hot on July 3rd. The storm's strong winds approach, and they push the humid, sweltering air into Eric's nose and through his hair. Outside of town, the rain already falls in a deluge over the Everglades. Lightning splits the sky, and then thunder splits one's ear. The threat and the storm are very close. Disguised Devil-Slayer knows that he must hurry lest a force of nature, dark tempest or Null the Living Darkness, overwhelm him. He stands before a Roxxon gas station outdoors.

On a payphone, Payne speaks with an old friend, "Wong, please tell Dr. Strange that I called. I understand that he is very busy with other cosmos-shaking matters right now. However, once he has time, he should please peruse a fax about an elder god's current nefarious activities. I'll send a fax soon. Even Citrusville is bound to have a copy shop in 1990."

Dr. Strange's servant suggests, "Stephen has many houseguests at the current time, so please do send the communication. The Sorcerer Supreme might not be available. However, the sanctum's other current residents know occult matters rather well too. For example, Strange's apprentice Rintrah would gladly teleport to you two Defenders opposing evil in Florida."

"That's good to know since I can't leave Overmind right now—for reasons that are complicated," Payne wipes sweat. Thunder sounds nearby.

"I can hear that a storm approaches," Wong states, "Stay safe, Mr. Payne."

Eric hangs-up the receiver. He cracks a smile. Staying safe is not easy when you are a demon hunter. When you hunt demons, they also constantly hunt you. From his pocket, Payne retrieves a phonecard. He would like to complete his phonecalls before rain falls. Closeby, air explodes, and earth rumbles.

Suddenly, firecrackers explode at Payne's boots. Someone celebrates July Fourth early. The flash and bang startle the warrior. He looks up. A little lass's eyes meet his own, and she giggles in his face. Her green dress's collar has white frill, and her entire garb seems from sixty years ago. Her eyes are amethyst, her complexion sanguine, her hair flaxen, and her grin pearly. Devil-Slayer feels some déjà vu. He knows that he has seen her before. But where?

"You shouldn't play with fireworks at a gas station, kid. Those pumps are full of very dangerous material," the protector chides.

"A'right sir. But, you know, my lord watches over fools and little children," the girl sounds potentially Southern, but something is off about her accent. Hell, something is off about her words. Payne cannot quite put his finger on it.

But, his finger can run the payphone's keypad. Phonecards require a person to call a toll-free number before entering a long code before entering the desired phone number. During this process, firecrackers again discharge nearby. They sound from near the gas pumps! Clenching, Payne expects the explosion from the fuel fumes. But, the little lady and he are seemingly blessed. He hears only whistling wind and girlish giggles instead of deafening detonation. The demon-hunter looks toward the pumps. Devil-Slayer scans the creepy, chortling child's face. He can spot demons and other abominations instantly. However, she is not a demon. At least, she is not one to his knowledge.

"You are one lucky little idiot!" the adult reprimands, "You could have blown us both to Hell!"

The wicked child seems to find Eric and Hell particularly funny. She cackles like a witch. Like a familiar, a dark cat joins her. Its eyes are emerald, its fur charcoal, and its teeth bared. The cat lies at her old-fashioned spectator shoes. Striking a match, the little girl ignites some ladyfingers. Gleefully, she drops the popping petards by the cat on the gas-covered ground, and she dances blithely about in the fire and smoke. The cat moves not one inch as flame and noise bang-bang-bang right by it. Apparently, this cat is not skittish.

"Damn, that kid looks familiar. But, from where?" Eric Payne hates when he cannot remember things.

"Hey! Quit playing with matches and your cat. And, get your ass over here, you little bitch!" a rude man calls the mischievous child. Appearing from nowhere, a man fills his motorcycle at the pumps. Perhaps, Eric had just not noticed the biker before. The biker glares at Eric coldly. Devil-Slayer scrutinizes the man. He seems to be only a man, not a demon, not a ghost, not even a camouflaged serpent-person (see _Marvel Team-Up _#111). Devil-Slayer's psychic sight is tough to trick. Eric Payne's sight spies an Illinois plate on the bike. The adorable pyromaniac skips to her apparent father.

The cautious Defender keeps an eye on the odd couple while he completes his phonecalls. He enters 212, and someone picks up.

"Hello, Jen," Eric greets Jen Walters in New York.

"Hello, Eric. What's news?" She-Hulk greets Devil-Slayer.

"Well, I face currently some ominous clouds and eerie characters," the demon-hunter replies.

She-Hulk chuckles, "Yeah, that's Citrusville for ya. I've been there [see _Savage She-Hulk _#7-8]."

"What is news from New York?" Eric asks.

"I'm not fully sure, to be honest," Jen states, "My people have kept an eye on Jericho Drumm, a.k.a Brother Voodoo. However, I have been out-of-town saving the Universe with Howard the Duck [see _Sensational She-Hulk_ 13-17]."

"Your people are doing better than my people. Fellow Defender Dr. Strange might not even know that Null has returned," Devil-Slayer discusses, "What do your people and you know?"

She-Hulk answers, "We know that evil Amb. Drumm has not made an obviously nefarious move. Ally Sersi watches him around the clock. I know that I cannot make an obviously hostile move on Drumm until he does something wrong. The general public does not know that he's a scheming supervillain. I would appear to be rampaging again." The recent Gray Goblin reviews her situation.

"You must be very frustrated. The possessed houngan has put you through hell," Devil-Slayer sympathizes.

The savage one bites back on her rage, "Yeah, I am very angry with Voodoo. I would love to beat Drumm like a drum right now."

The Defender assures, "I have a feeling that Null and his people make a move soon." He notices that the biker and motorcycle have moved across the street without making a sound. Most motorbikes are really loud when they move. Maybe, the biker politely walked his cycle to avoid disrupting Payne's phonecall. But, Devil-Slayer doubts it.

"I hope that something happens soon," She-Hulk comments.

Strong wind spatters rain upon Eric's face. The storm is very nigh. The approaching black billows almost resemble Null. "Something is happening soon," the demonologist assures, "In the meanwhile, you should contact the Fantastic Four. They encountered Null the Living Darkness when you brought him into their home. Reed Richards might have been studying and analyzing the entity since then. I am curious how they have prepared for Null since their last clash with him."

She-Hulk sighs, "I should visit Four Freedoms Plaza. My Fantastic Four friends deserve another apology for the Gray Goblin attack. They and I will have to catch-up and re-connect."

Suddenly, a lightning bolt disconnects She-Hulk and Devil-Slayer. Furious fulguration inflames the sky and quakes the earth. The line goes dead. Temporarily, Eric Payne is semi-blind and half-deaf. "Hello? Hello?" he calls to help a thousand miles away. There is no answer. Devil-Slayer prays that Thor, god of the storm, has come to Citrusville somehow. But, that circumstance isn't very likely. Then, the sky's waters crash over Eric. The tempest arrives.

"Hello? Hello?" Jen calls to Eric, "Oh well, Happy 4th of July if I don't see you." Devil-Slayer is a teleporter. She-Hulk might see him by tomorrow. For now, she must get to Four Freedoms Plaza.

In an instant, torrents flood the Roxxon's parking lot. Rainwater washes over Eric Payne's face and body. Seemingly, the deluge washes the very clothing from his frame, for he drops his psionic illusions. Eric's soaked clinging attire disappears, and Devil-Slayer's blue bodysuit and red cloak replace it. The warrior grimaces in the crashing, cold rain.

Then, an imp calls the demon-hunter, "Hey asshole! Hey [thunderclap]wad! We shall see you in the darkness!"

The drenched demon-hunter looks across the street at the representatives of the Living Darkness. The man, girl, and cat are all perched upon the motorcycle. Like maniacs, they take-off over the half-flooded, rain-slick roads into the swamp. They speed and skid and correct. Curtains of rain soon obscure them. Things have begun. In a flash, Devil-Slayer teleports after them.

Flickering lightning blinds Devil-Slayer upon his arrival. Banging thunder rings in his ears. "Come hither" says a voice inside his head. He is in the Everglades deep outside of Citrusville. His red boots tread forward through the swampwater and muck. The good warrior is determined to reach Overmind before him.

In the gale's winds, Grom the Eternal stands barechested and stone-still. Unblinking red eyes look into his ruddy face. In the squall's winds, the mysterious, mountainous Man-Thing stands perfectly still. Seemingly, the two terrible titans staring each other down. However, Devil-Slayer knows that they are in telepathic mind-meld. Eric Payne's psychic faculties tell him so.

Overmind's psyche contacts his fellow, "The Guardian of the Nexus of All Reality understands our purpose. And, he is our ally."

Devil-Slayer blinks pelting drops from his eyes, "Man-Thing and I have been allies before. Awhile back, the Defenders and the creature out-thought the demon Unnthinnk who wanted to control the Nexus [see _Defenders _#98]."

"Now, Null needs the Nexus. It provides him a way to invade Earth-616," thunder's rumble punctuates Overmind's ominous words.

"The Living Darkness is nearby," Devil-Slayer states, "I encountered one of his forms in Citrusville. At our first encounter, he took the form of a little malicious girl [see _Defenders _#103]. I ran into the wench-witch at Citrusville's gas station. I remember her now."

Overmind probes Devil-Slayer's mind, "You encountered another of Null's forms too. The demon once inhabited an Adam Henderson in Illinois [see _Ghost Rider _#71]. After Zarathos exorcised him, Null found and overtook me in the Microverse. Then, he found and overtook all of Earth-S [see _Defenders_ #112-114]." Lightning flashes ominously off of Overmind's silvery armor sitting to the side. In the flicker, Devil-Slayer sees suddenly a woman and a boy standing in the stormy swamp.

As with the man and child in town, Payne's extra-sensory perception cannot see the demonic presence within these two visitants. Null's awesome abilities disquiet even an experienced adventurer. However, Eric can intuit their eerie origin this time around. They are not of the swamp. The woman wears stockings, a mini-skirt, a lacey outfit, and make-up. Eric notices also her four–inch pumps—levitating inches from the ground.

Before Slayer can speak, a great fogbank rushes forth, and it swallows everyone, both shade and hero. The nebulous miasma removes all sight. The noxious pall stings the eyes and offends the nose. In blindness, Devil-Slayer feels the pouring rain batter and chill him.

"What's going on?" Eric Payne screams.

"Null is here," Overmind's telepathy answers.

The Living Darkness announces himself with a certain hellfire. From mid-air, eldritch lightningbolts fly forth like prongs of a flaming fork. One blasts through Man-Thing and scatters his steaming verdant parts throughout the vegetation. One affixes into

Overmind's huge body and shakes the giant unmercifully. The mighty titan falls to his knees gasping. One strikes Devil-Slayer's chest and hurls him backward screaming. He crashes hard through bruising, tearing foliage. He passes out for a second while white smoke floats from his blistered chest.

The unholy lightning spares Cecelia and Carlos Cardinale, mother and child, standing in the swamp. Rather, it dances around them. Burning trails set the fog luridly aglow. Blazing tendrils flail like Null's sinister fingers about the Cardinales. Cecelia calls into the fire "Come Ylandris!"

The Nexus of All Reality opens wide. Ylandris appears. She howls forth in hellfire and deathstench. She is a fallen S'raphh, one of the beings composing the Living Darkness. Once, she was a part of Cecelia too. Cecelia Cardinale is called Poison when Ylandris is within her. Poison is an agent of death and oblivion when Null is with her. Spider-Man and Man-Thing have met Poison and lived to tell the tale (see _Web of Spider-Man Annual _#4). However, many men have not. Recently, Poison extracted Ylandris from herself, and Cecelia threw Ylandris into the Nexus of All Reality. Presently, the screeching specter re-enters Cecelia's breast. The cursed woman screams in the agony of her abominable transformation. Around her, three hurting warriors gather themselves for the good fight.


	10. Chapter 10: Die! Love, Haiti (Pt 2)

**Chapter 10: Die, America! Love, Haiti (Part Two)**

Poison hovers over half-naked Overmind in the mud. Aloof Poison considers him with her sunken ebon eyes in her cadaverous white face. Around her terrible visage, umber hair whips in the gale winds. Onto the wind, Poison exhales caliginous vapor. The demoniac pronounces, "I am Ylandris of the S'raphh, and we are legion!"

The champion replies, "I am Grom of the Eyungian, and we are Eternals."

The possessed pronounces, "I am the angel of death of the Living Darkness."

The Defender replies, "I am your destroyer, Poison, just as Captain Universe was your sister Mayhem's [see "Mayhem's Bugle," _New York, New York_]."

"I'll swallow your souls," the evil dead threatens the composite being.

A shotgun blast interrupts her plans. Shot fractures a huge branch directly above Poison. The bough drives the fallen into the mud. Devil-Slayer steps forth with his tattered, smoking costume and a smoking double-barreled gun pulled from his cape's panoply.

"Groovy," Devil-Slayer quips, "But, where is Cecilia's son? AAAAH!"

Carlos Cardinale bounds from the shadows like a hellhound. Rabidly slobbering, Carlos plants his teeth into Devil-Slayer's arm and shakes his head. Despite great pain, the hero will not simply blow the boy's head off with the boomstick. Instead, he raises the rod like a club. Perhaps, he can knock the attack child unconscious. However, Carlos sees strategy and snarls. His teeth rip flesh from forearm, and his hand gun from grip. The possessed are often very, very strong. Demoniac Carlos punches Devil-Slayer into the brush. By Null's power, the vegetation seizes Devil-Slayer's limbs and pins them to the ground. The cold rain pours over his tender bare chest. Mist swirls around him. From the miasma, the devil-child emerges with blunderbuss. Curiously, he raises it like a spear.

"That ain't gonna happen," the hero declares. In an instant, his Shadow-Cloak encases him, and it teleports him from sight. Carlos plunges the piece into the mud instead of into Devil-Slayer's lower region. He growls. He sniffs the air for his prey. From behind, someone taps him on the shoulder and then spins him around. Devil-Slayer's fist knocks some of the dental work right out of the kid's mouth. The man lifts the child from the ground and slams the little monster against a cypress. The beastling raises his hand to swat the demon-slayer.

"I'm sorry about this, kid," the knight drives a dagger through the raised palm and into the treetrunk, "But, you're Grendel, and I can't fight Grendel all day. I need to fight your mother and the great dragon behind her." The demonologist references Saxon myth.

"You know, fool, Grendel loses a hand in that story," the possessed child displays knowledge that he likely should not have. With a blood-curdling scream, Carlos snaps his own wrist completely. To Eric's shock, the child chomps into his own wrist and tears. Blood spatters Eric's agape lips and eyes.

"Goddam!" the hero exclaims, "Stop!" Payne moves toward the boy.

A moment earlier, Poison frees herself. She levitates from the muck looking a little less dignified in her soiled blouse and torn stockings. Her shoes are lost in the loam. Before she gets her bearings, Overmind seizes her head between his two massive, strong hands. He holds her like a bitch puppy in its master's mitts.

Overmind and Poison lock eyes, and the two psychics lock horns. Grom gores into her mind. Cecelia slithers into his. He wills her to surrender. Her will rejects his wishes. With a grunt, Grom overwhelms Cecelia's psychic defenses temporarily and frees her from Null's influence. Grappling, god Null grabs mortal woman back. Exerting, Overmind probes Poison's mind to find Cecelia amidst the tangle of Null's tenebrous tentacles once again. Icily, Ylindras tells him that all is lost. Adamant Overmind calls to the Chorus within him. The Chorus are the consciousnesses of six powerful deceased psychics residing within Overmind as the Eyungians do. The Chorus's ethereal hands are mighty. Their mighty hands grab Null's limbs and pull them from Cecelia's captive essence.

"We have banished you once, demon," the Chorus say in unison, "We shall do so again." The Chorus members form the titanic composite being that they used to destroy Null the last time (see _Defenders _#114).

Outside the astral plane, Overmind and Poison have stood stock-still staring the entire time. The fixed giant's hands clamp the woman's head. The levitating woman remains entirely rigid. Within the eldritch ether, Null fights back fiercely. Unmercifully, six tentacles impale the Chorus entity. Within Grom's mind, the Chorus scream in agony. Throughout his body, the Defender jolts and jiggles, shakes and spasms. His hands release Poison. He gasps.

Null the Living Darkness dismembers the Chorus chimera one-by-one. Each member falls from the magnificent united body. "Al Gentle!" Null thunders while ripping Gentle harshly forth like exposed viscera. "Georgia Orr!" Null breaks her off like a limb. "Theodore Kroeber!" Demon pries him loose tooth and nail. "Philip de Guin!" The Living Darkness goes in after the Chorus's one child member, and he rips the Chorus's heart from its very being*. "Mindy Williams and Ursula Richards!" Null the Living Darkness announces finally. Mindy and Ursula are the Chorus's two most powerful psychics. They do not release each other easily. Their spirits cohere tightly. Null stretches them furiously. But, despite great pain, the two hold on to each other. Abruptly, S'raphhs with swords sever their connection. Shocked, Williams and Richards fall away from each other. The evil one coils the Chorus's ethereal beings into his tentacles, and he holds up the Chorus before his multitudinous evil eyes and gnashing mouths. Null's mouths breathe hellfire upon the Chorus. The devil's fires obliterate Al, Georgia, Ted, and Phil instantly. However, Mindy and Ursula survive—to Null's astonishment.

Mentalists Mindy and Ursula have psychically-constructed a huge Captain America shield before them. In life, Captain America helped them both (see _Captain America _#264 & 268). He is their protector again in this Fourth of July battle. In life, Mindy loved also the hero Nighthawk. His costume appears upon her now. Nighthawk's talons slice through Null's tentacles, and the heroines are free. Mindy spreads her wings and flies at Null determinedly. Her sister-in-arms gesticulates beneath Captain America's grandiose shield. With fervor, she hurls the red, white, and blue into the Living Darkness. The star-spangled shield strikes Null like a musketshot and explodes like a firework this day. For a moment, the Sentinel of Liberty is a beacon of hope, and Nighthawk is like a great eagle. . . . . Then, Null retaliates. Null the Living Darkness is an elder god. Ursula and Mindy are but two brave American women. He obliterates them.

Outside, in empirical reality, Overmind stands stupefied in the pouring rain and the swamp filth. His head is bereft of six powerful voices that have been his conscience, his Chorus. The giant is vulnerable. Poison is dangerous. Her head is full of the million damned voices that are Null. The devil's servant prepares to claim an Eternal Defender. Poison opens her maw wide. Her eyes roll back, and her jaw unhinges. Fetid gas floats from her throat. Inky ichor oozes off her tongue. Then, Poison spits acid into Overmind's face. It fumes and bubbles. Grom stands still shocked at his mental loss.

Then, Poison rips Overmind's damned face off. As is her power, Poison takes a telekinetic grasp of Overmind's flesh. She digs hard into his softened face. It distorts. Then, facialmeat explodes from skull in all directions. Scraps pelt trees and splash water. Momentarily, Poison smiles evilly into an exposed skullface with eyes within. Grom stands yet stock-still.

Without warning, the titan screams sans lips: "POOOISON!" Overmind's telepathy nearly splits Poison's head in-twain. The faceless horror sends his thoughts, "Mortal woman, you are already dead, and so is your son. You died in a Cuban prison years ago, and only Null's unholy influence has kept you animate. You are his member that must be severed. You are his vessel that must be broken."

With these words, Overmind sets his terrible telekinesis upon her. Poison feels an invisible vice bond her. She sees Overmind clench his fist, and the vice squeezes tight. It squeezes the fetid breath from her chest. It constricts her flesh, and she moans bruising. By the gods, Overmind will crush her; he will implode her back to the Darkness. His gargantuan grip crushes her limbs and cracks her ribs. His will breaks her hips and bursts her abdomen. Blood, bone, and bowels blast the water and earth. Poison seems no more. Her intact head and legs dangle upon her mutilated center, and the monster seems destroyed. However, unexpectedly, Poison teleports herself free of Overmind's cincture.

After teleporting, Poison ponders—in agony—what she has gained. Perhaps, she has only gained a few minutes to float nearly helpless and mostly paralyzed in the scummy swampwater. Bilge floods her open abdomen and enters her open fractures. Pulped Poison spreads across the waters. Awful offal bobs upon them. Black blood spreads over them. Effluent air disturbs them. Through the waters, Poison hears Overmind wade toward her. The titan towers above her face. His eyes dangle from exposed bone ringed in raw meat.

Harshly, Overmind rips his own orbs from his skull, "I do not need eyes, for I am a god. An immortal heals over time. You will die today, cursed one, however. Even sans eyes, I shall see you dragged into the underworld." Overmind's lipless teeth are bared.

Poison wonders what the stalwart means. Then, she knows. Through the water's surface, Man-Thing's massive left limb breaks. Its hand grabs Poison by the throat. It chokes her. It burns her fearful skin. Then, the right limb rises high from the depths. Its hand slaps hard on Poison's open abdomen, and it rams itself into her chest cavity. The guardian's right hand literally grabs cursed Cecelia by her very heart. In her agony, the fallen one samples Hell. Restored by the land, tall Man-Thing rises from the water. He is a great tree with a fleshy bauble tangled in its branches. And, she is still alive: miserable, undead thing that she is. Man-Thing prepares to spread his limbs in victory. Poison will be utterly destroyed. Mercifully, Cecelia Cardinale will be free.

"NOOOO!" Null's thunderous voice booms from within Cardinale's carcass. Dark energies explode Poison's body surpassing anything that Man-Thing could have done. Ethereal, stygian Ylandris floats free of the guardian's grasp. Her black hand chops the night sky.

With a great light, the Nexus of All Reality re-opens in mid-air. The rift burns bright like a volcano's chasm. Again, Null's voice roars forth, "Grom and Sallis, you petty, puny godlings! You might embody a hundred million Eternals and all the life on Earth, but I am the Living Darkness incarnate. I claim you now into perdition and the nothingness!"

From the Nexus, a sea of spectral S'raphh arms flow sickly forth like worms. They seize Overmind and Man-Thing and suck them in. Cackling Ylandris follows them into her master's realm. In his realm, Null flings Overmind far away into the Nexus of All Reality. Overmind has proven a most-powerful and very determined foe. The aspiring god does not need the distraction of fighting him further. The Nexus swallows Grom and sends him elsewhere. He reappears. He is in Brooklyn, and he has again a face and eyes. However, Overmind has no memory—including of Null. The Chorus is gone from his head and cannot guide him. The Eternal shuffles off into the night toward other adventures (see _Quasar _#13). The Defender will protect the world from Null no further.

In the demon's realm, Null's tentacles bind and stretch Man-Thing. From behind, Ylandris mounts him and grabs hold. With another roar, Null flings away Man-Thing and Ylandris in their coupling. The Nexus swallows them and sends them elsewhere. Dark saltwater is the next realm that Man-Thing knows. The heroic guardian immerges into its depths. Ylandris releases Man-Thing to his descent. The fallen angel flies upward toward the surface. She emerges near an island's rocky shore. She looks up. There is a proud, colossal statue holding a torch, symbol of light. The dark thing is amused.

Ylandris declares, "This July 4th, Null the Living Darkness will overwhelm the United States as he has before [see _Defenders _#114]! Death to America!"

Back in the Everglades, carnivorous Carlos Cardinale chomps into his own wrist. He ogles Devil-Slayer's flesh as though it might be next. Eric considers what to do. The former hitman hates killing kids—although Carlos is already undead. Howling Carlos jerks hard on his remaining wrist; it might actually rip free. Suddenly, an unsentimental gator solves Payne's dilemma for him. With a great splash, it emerges and snaps onto the corpse-boy's leg. With an awful roll, the creature rips the monster from the tree, and the re-animated meal disappears beneath the soup. His dismemberment is nearly assured.

Devil-Slayer falls exhausted in the bank's mud. He can barely stay conscious. He must attend to his wounds soon. The cold rain feels good upon his sore body. In his peripheral, Devil-Slayer sees the Nexus re-open. It is bright light upon his fluttering lids. The demon-hunter would fight the elder god Null. But, he passes-out in the swampslop instead.

He murmurs "Jen" thinking about his ally in New York. She might need help against Null right about now.

"How do you know my name," someone queries. Her voice is female like Jen's, but Eric does not recognize it. Payne cracks his eyes. Next to him, two boots are levitating slightly above the soppy ground.

*Ursula Le Guin and Alfred Louis Kroeber are daughter and father. They are also a noted sci-fi writer and a noted anthropologist respectively. Do you see what Marvel writer J.M. DeMatteis did there?


End file.
